this is amazing I love it I'm actuely crying I feel for Susan I feel as if I were her and it was my family I really enjoyed the story and it inspires me as a writer my self I love the way you worded everything and it's just really good I thank you for writing this story and I hope you write more
to a true Queen of Narnia

Meagan

from another

Leonette

long live Aslan!

I really like your writing style. I wish you'd continue this but I suppose all that needs to be said has been said already.
The way Susan thinks of the week as "a bother" was kind of shocking, it's a pretty mild word to use in this context. But somehow, it gets across Susan's state of mind even better than a stronger word would. I'm not sure why.

I also really like the way you've protrayed Aunt Alberta. You've given her depth without giving her any words.