This was probably one of the worst stories I have seen on here.

1. This is not a piece of fanfiction and should never have been posted on this site (aptly name fanfiction dot net). If you want to post original stuff, do so on fictionpress dot net.

2. There is no story here. I realize that you wrote words and it sort of told this tale, but you did nothing with the characters, you have absolutely childish dialogue, no description... I expect this type of thing from a six year old, not the thirteen year olds and up who are allowed to use this site.

Remove this. It has been reported to the administration, so you might want to get on that.

aeledfyr.

oh my gosh that was so good if it was an actual book, and it was longer i would have bought ten copies it was that good. wow you should be a writer, and if you were i know you would be famous. i love those books that get to your heart like that one. like when the little girl died that was heart breaking, because every time i read something like that i think about if it was MY familly. and how i would feel. anyway AWESOME book i wouldnt change anything!! hope you write another one...

this is really good =)