|Reviews for The War Less Known|
| Dunedain ranger of the north 5/7/13 . chapter 7
Okay, seriously? The baby is wrapped in something? You couldn't just say a towel or a blanket? Anyways, still a good chapter, just needs to be fixed up a bit.
| Dunedain ranger of the north 5/7/13 . chapter 6
Okay, I forgot to mention this last chapter: stop supposing or saying "like a" for the character's outfits, if they're wearing a dress, its a dress.
Now for this chapter:
I thought the town's defenders were called the Town Watch not the militia.
You are forgetting to finish some sentences: "His gruff voice sounding like it was near the brink of going." "The rest of the militia marched."
If you're going to mention a number of things, don't have both words and numbers: "Three" "4", it just looks bad.
Some sentences need revising, your repeating things again like: "James and I ran out after that, flying out of the Militia HQ..." I think you mean that they ran out of the armory and then out of the HQ building. Speaking about that, you really should write out Headquarters when it's not being mentioned in dialogue.
I know there are other things I can mention, but I don't want to sound condescending, so I will say other than that this chapter was very well done!
| Dunedain ranger of the north 5/7/13 . chapter 5
Again good chapter, but you really should check your grammar. And I think you mean "almost defensively" not "almost defeatist". Still looking forward to what happens next!
| Dunedain ranger of the north 5/7/13 . chapter 4
Better, the sentences and dialogue seem to flow smoothly, but you still need to go back over what you've written and check for any missing words or misspellings. I would also recommend using some more descriptive words when you are doing a battle scene, such as: crossfire, discharge, exchange, report, salvo, and volley. I would also recommend you use more words to help describe a scene, like: "I jumped up, running over the wall of sandbags and onto the bridge" could be: "I leapt to my feet, hurtled over the sandbags and ran for the bridge, quickly starting across once I reached it."
You should also put commas in the quotation marks like this: "Well then, ladies and gents," I started with a smile. And use less '...' and more of ','.
Again your story is interesting, but you really need to fix your grammar.
| Dunedain ranger of the north 5/7/13 . chapter 3
Alright, please take no offense to this, but while the story line is good, It's filled with so many mistakes and many repeated words, it's almost hard to read. At least to me it is, I don't know about all the others who've read this story. I'm going to keep reading as I like this story and it's the only one of it's kind that I could find, so far. And it's long, I like long stories the most.
| Sacchin 3/20/13 . chapter 45
Big mouth? Oh! Was Craig not allowed to tell anything about the stealth op? Or was it in disguise of something else? Revy being a potential love interest is good too, but go with what you feel is right, it makes the story more exciting and fun to read! If you feel as though Revy can make for a good love interest, then by all means go for it! (I have to admit that I'm quite excited by that too, some Romance added to the picture, even though if it's only light makes it pretty fun!) And nice one on the scene with Squad 7! Made me laugh a bit, as I imagine their antics, especially with Ted and Catherine! Please keep it up!
| All American Autor 3/15/13 . chapter 44
You're updating so fast that when I go to review, the next chapter is already up, which is awesome.
Any to review, I like how you include the Expeditionaries (probably misspelled, soory) in your story and the chapters associated with them, but don't draw out their missions and their chapters to far. The main point of your story is Squad Seven, Craig, and James. With James already as special as he is, considing what you've told me, things like the Expeditionaries will need to happen a little less often so Craig doesn't seem Stuish.
| Sacchin 3/15/13 . chapter 44
Haha! xD Isara awkwardly turns away! Man I can't wait to see the hilarity that ensues! xD Awesome chapter too! That almost felt like Mission Impossible for a moment, Craig and Revy, setting up bombs! If only those bandages didn't come undone... Please keep it up and update soon!
| Sacchin 3/14/13 . chapter 43
From what I remember I think there were at least two AT guns in the Kloden Supply base stage, I'm not sure though. And nice one on Isara walking in on them, pretty realistic for her to ask permission to enter, but with Revy;s state of dress, and the Craig and Revy's actions, Isara is bound to start a few rumors or something, while Welkin being the big brother he is, tries to explain what was happening to Isara, whom is then overheard by Alicia or something, and then hilarity ensues! Also, I'm liking these stealth sections, but I agree with not going overboard with them too much, since the VC thing also has to move. Please keep it up!
| Sacchin 3/12/13 . chapter 42
I'll assume. Will some members of Squad 7, like Craig's brother, or maybe Alicia, Welkin, or God knows, even maybe Isara, might come in and take everything at the wrong point of view? I mean seeing how Craig and Revy are together? That's gonna be pretty hilarious, anyway, this is getting interesting, especially with how General Jaeger will appear in the Kloden base. Please keep it up!
| Sacchin 3/11/13 . chapter 41
I was sort of thinking that the entire Mourning Dead was technically just a cover for the entire stealth unit, but darn I was't expecting Revy to be the only one there! Now, I'm half-expecting Revy to half-blow Craig's cover, by going on about old friends who don't even want to acknowledge you. This is so exciting! Please keep it up and update soon!
| Sacchin 3/9/13 . chapter 40
Nice chapter! That argument between Craig and Damon was pretty intense! Please keep it up and continue to update!
| MrShmee 3/9/13 . chapter 1
and excellent update can't wait for the next update
will there be any pairings in this story between your characters and the original characters?
It will be interesting if their are
| Sacchin 1/11/13 . chapter 38
Yeah! These chapters are getting more exciting, as of each moment! Please keep it up!
| Gravenimage 10/27/12 . chapter 28
Interesting story are there any pairings like Craig/Isara what about about James?