|Reviews for Umbrella Against Fate|
| Titi 5/20/10 . chapter 6
Hey, i hope you can fulfill your goal rewriting this story. In my opinion, i don't think you need to do it. I really liked this fic! I usually don't like AU's of final fantasy vii, and i love cloud and tifa couple. But this story really caught my attention!
One question... If you are rewriting it, are you going to post on this link or will you delete this and create another with the chapter you're going to rewrite?
but continue this story! It's beaultiful, i really, really, liked it. And i liked your way to write in the firts chapters, i didn't thinked it was odd, however i had some difficulties with some expressions but it's because i'm not THAT good in english (i'm brazilian. I'm sorry if you don't understand what i'm writing in this review, i'm just learning english, you know? x_x) xDDD
so, bye /o/
| mom calling 3/9/10 . chapter 5
Hello, beaucoup riant. You have said several times that this a deeply personal story, and that it was difficult to translate your inner voice into words to put on the screen and then to offer it to us. And not only do you want us to read it, but to comment about it. I can't do it. I don't know enough to offer a real technical critique. To say anything about content would be to get into who you are and what you've been thinking over the months of writing. Some personal observations-from me as a reader, though, that I can do.
The 'choppiness' you've mentioned-it doesn't bother me, though I noticed it. And I quickly came to accept it as simply a style thing. Earlier in a review, I called it 'a chanting' voice'. As if a traveling storyteller stopped by, and, by firelight, sang or chanted songs about long ago heroes. And the story spoke to me in a formal voice. Even the action scenes seemed formal, a bit stilted. Reminds me of reading "Tales of Roland"...it's not at all like watching the Errol Flynn version of "Robin Hood". As a reader, I think I would have had a different and better experience reading it all at once. This is not the kind of story that holds up well to long intervals between chapters. It's an emotional piece, and builds up to the conclusion of Cloud and Tifa realizing that they are-and can be-complimentary equals with individuality. With each chapter I had to go back and read from the beginning. New readers from now on can absorb it wholecloth.
And, yeah, there are some grammatical difficulties-tense agreement, that kind of thing-but that can be polished up. Anyway, you did what you set out to do, right? And said more or less what you wanted to say, right? And brought it home. A very different Cloud/Tifa story from anything else that I've read. Congratulations. And thank you! May the sun, which warms Cloud and Tifa, shine warmly on your head and shoulders, where ever you are. mc
| en extase 2/27/10 . chapter 1
You likely won't like what I'm going to say, but it's necessary. If you're introducing readers to your own world, whether in original fiction or in an AU story, you better have a more compelling introduction than a long exposition about a generic fantasy world. Write a scene in an unfamiliar environment, do something to keep the reader's attention and they'll be guaranteed to continue further.
| JuneZz 2/24/10 . chapter 4
wow..nice..keep it going!
| vLuna 2/23/10 . chapter 4
Short but good. I loved they little...sparring :P
| ObsessiveCompulsiveValkyrie 2/22/10 . chapter 4
Hm, well, your style isn't that choppy, I think... I can't say I honestly remember the earlier chapters, but this one flowed well. I noticed a bit of a mix in tenses-Switching between past and present with no real warning, but it flowed well. One thing that I found helpsSO much is having a beta. Almost all of my ten ongoing stories has one and I'm so thankful for all the advice they give. That would be my recommendation, but if you don't want one, that's your choice. I know a few people who might be able to help if you're interested.
Anyway, as far as the chapter itself goes, I loved it! The gentle(?) teasing between the two of them, the fear Cloud felt when he unleased his magic, the immediate liking the two of them felt... I can only imagine how amazing this story will become. Thanks so much for writing such an awesome story! I have a deep love for AU's... It seems to be the only thing I can write, usually supernatural/fantasy ones. With romance, of course ;) Anyway, I hope you can get another update out soon. I'm loving this fic so far! But, of course, if you taje time, that's cool with me. I'm really in no plce to be judging. Thanks again!
| demonegg 11/27/09 . chapter 3
I had been meaning to look at this story for a while, but I'm just now getting to it. I like the concept of this. At times I think there may be a little too much explaining and telling versus showing, which can make for a slightly strange rhythm, but the story idea and world are very nice. Things definitely got smoother once C & T met, and I hope to see more interaction between those two in the next chapter. Very interesting story, & looking forward to more!
| vLuna 11/22/09 . chapter 3
Ahh Cloud and Tifa finally met! And Cloud was late...nothing new here lol :P
Great chapter. I can't wait for the next one
| ObsessiveCompulsiveValkyrie 11/21/09 . chapter 3
So, I stumbled over here by recommendation of vLuna. I can't say I'm disappointed, either. Very nicely done. I'm not a follower of CCS, so I haven't seen that version of this story. I have to say, I was surprised to find Cloud as the angel. Usually, he's the bad boy between he an Tifa. After reading on, though, and discovering te background of the two, I quickly changed my mind. A very nice world you've woven for them and very nice choices for the character placements. I can't wait for more!
| FinalFantasyVIIlover-Arielle W 11/21/09 . chapter 3
Very, very cool AU. And I'm too in awe to write any more than that, sorry.
| mom calling 11/21/09 . chapter 1
Ahoy beaucoup riant, This is a strange story, but I can see where it would be 'fun' to develop; it'll be interesting to see where you take us. The characterizations of Cloud and Tifa were fine, but the whole thing has an odd rhythm, kind of choppy, as if the story teller is chanting. I'm thinking that's intentional because there is a lot of-drat, I can't think of the word-repeating sound. "clangs of weapons clashing",'tormented by The Taint", "finish a fight". It reads in an odd way, tenses seem to shift, "is" to "was"... Hold on, lemme get on board. OK, roll 'em! mc
| elebelly 11/21/09 . chapter 2
the start has been so enticing! cant wait for the rest :) x
| JuneZz 11/20/09 . chapter 2
haha denzel and marlene as twins..i was wondering how tifa and cloud would meet someday..maybe cloud met tifa when she was helping people again? hope to read more! good work btw!
| John77 9/8/09 . chapter 1
this is a pretty good story you've got i hope you update soon.
| A Morning Star 9/3/09 . chapter 2
I'm not going to lie. A very interesting idea. I'm not too sure if I would have had Cloud being the angel, but it does make sense. Because he is the one that is having the identity crisis. What I mean to say that the story wouldn't be as good if Tifa was the one with the identity crisis. I do hope that Cloud isn't weaker than Tifa, though.
Looking forward to the update.