Ooohh just found this and I really hope you will continue. Would like to see a bit more descriptive on it. Especially as the planet becomes more sentient.

Update soon! :)

Don't know if you are still writing, but I hope you continue. I like the style, especially as you introduce your concept. As it progresses, more detail would be appreciated. Especially as it relates to any sustained characters. any chance of a second chapter?

Not bad at all, I would certainly love to read more, the switching back and forth is a little off though, as soon as the reader starts getting into the story understanding the setting etc it switches over and repeats.

Nice to see this, not lumped with just Dragonriders of Pern. For both Anne work on this Ann McCafrey and Elizabeth Ann Scarborough Yes I think you are going too fast, for that. I don't have the Petaybee books to hand I have the seecond set the twins that are born on Petaybee.

You're punctuating your dialogue incorrectly. If you want to improve your writing, learn how to do that right.

Doesn't seem to be going too fast for me, although I admit it is a bit of a quick clip.

Still, you've got an interesting concept. I hope you choose to continue.

So far the pacing seems fine to me, I can understand in the early stages of the fic that this pace is good but if you start to go into greater details then I would reccomend that you slow the pace alittle.

I know that the lack of readership or reviews can be disconcerting but this is an unfortunate side effect of 's decision to file all stories by series rather than by author, though at least now I can find the non-Pern stories fairly easily. I would recommend that you keep going regardless.

Good luck with it and if you keep writing then I will keep reading though a lack of internet 90% of the time may mean it takes a while for me to comment

Sounds cool!