Only saw 6 or 7 mistakes so when you say to please excuse your English, I say to you, your English here is better than a lot of native speakers. And I really enjoyed your alternate ending. Dan lives, Charlie is shown to maybe have a heart beating in his chest after all. And of course Ben still escapes the train, right?

I really liked this short story; I loved the alternate movie ending you came up with (I really didn't want Dan OR Charlie to die in the movie! So it's great to read an ending where both of them actually survive).