Very nice, very quiet, very…nostalgic.

I really did like this one shot. A little more reflection about Sasuke’s feelings toward Naruto would have been nice. Not in a sexual way, but more of a brotherly love way.

Overall a very good piece.

I. Love this. I really do. It's sweet and incredibly realistic. Like, I can see it happening, in my head. This, for example:
"He dragged his left knee up, bending it, moving it side to side, reminding Sasuke of a rocking boat."
HOW do you think of stuff like that! Incredible...

Not to mention this story is hitting close to home... *is a senior* Not that you care, tho, so moving on:

Okay, this: "Probably their close proximity. The topic. The fact that he’d had sex in this bed that Naruto was now lying in." <-- so cute! So incredibly awkward! It's great. I love how they are just best friends in this bit but there is just a teensy tiny bit of room for them to be more... Like when Sasuke says he's never had sex with anyone he really liked... Hey, a girl can hope!

The yaoi monster in my head is telling me that Sasuke is in love with Naruto and Naruto is oblivious. :3

But it also reads as a really great friendship story, I loved it. XD

very surreal, very interesting too

beautiful

Man, I especially liked the tone of the final paragraph. I loved how there wasn't necessarily sexual tension, but emotional tension, despite the talk of sex. (At first, I was all "Ew Naruto", but it was very in character.)

I kept an eye out for the metaphors, especially thanks to your author notes. I enjoyed them highly. I really adored the "like so many spider legs" one. Really painted a picture. You had a lot of nice description throughout.

The only one that felt forced was the final section in the first long paragraph, and that was only in a minor way. ("Time. Brutally thrusting forward. Thoughtless and oblivious to those affected by it, those caught in its undertow with no choice but to be dragged to the bottom.") Just a little over the top. You could have cut that and made the overall graph stronger. Otherwise, they all flowed nicely.

I was thinking near the end about the oddity of them sharing the same bed, for the storyline you'd created, but how you managed to make it "fit", especially by allowing the readers to glimpse their past and familiarity, as in when Naruto puts in his breakfast order (ROFL!). Loved that ending.

Really enjoyed this.

Keep writing! Whether it be my FAV, or any other. I adore anything you create. Thanks for taking your spare time to do this, love, and I hope your life is settled and all goes well.

Cheers!

~aa6

So beautiful and so raw with emotion. :) As usual, you write an intricate and profound relationship between Sasuke and Naruto. Not many people can portray the realism of relationships and conversations like you can. I also like how you sort of wrote this from Sasuke's point of view, showing a tender side to his personality. One of the reasons why you're one of my favorite authors is the fact that you can write Sasuke so beautifully. It's fun and interesting and refreshing to read about a Sasuke who has feelings and who isn't plagued with the sort of emo-angst and ever-present rage found in most other Naruto fics, whether they be canon or AU. Your descriptions were lovely and I'm really glad this piece was fun for you to do. <33 Haven't seen your updates for a while now and I was starting to get worried! Thanks for sharing yet another gift to us rabid fans of yours, and good luck with updating your other works/starting new works.

-Shoes

I'm still waiting for YOU KNOW WHAT. post it!! -fidgets- its gonna be awesome. so meanwhile, i'm here, because i remembered you said we should always review what we read. so there. OMG BUT THIS IS DEDICATED TO ME. do i even deserve this. i really dunno who showed you that parrot story, BUT SERIOUSLY. lol. it's kinda silly, but i'm glad it made you laugh. as long as there's some hardons it! lol. ah well. should comment on the story. i love the title. where did you get that title. i LOLED so hard at your Naruto, he's so funny and crude. "is it something she ate". seriously!? hmm. did you actually have that sort of convo with someone before. lol. oh, and i love this:

"He could hear the wind rustling the leaves just outside the window, and he had a strong sensation. A certain longing. It was fleeting, but it struck him quite forcefully."

FLEETING. it's so beautiful. beautiful, beautiful writing as always raz. why is this for me! and how come you're able to portray male friendship so well. i love this.

Sankyu!

<3

Hey, check it out. And can R&R your stuff at work. What is up with our browser blocker that it won't let me look at but will let me on ? Ah, well...

As always your dialogue is amazing. Naruto's tactless boyishness and Sasuke's blunt replies - well, your conversations are always very real (regardless of whether they've been RPed or not ;3). But I'm used to that in your fics so that's not really what took me in this one. Relatability is a huge issue ofc. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels like Sasuke towards the end but it's so friggin pertinent. It's hard for me to review this from an impersonal perspective.

"Naruto’s question, whatever it was, went unspoken. Locked, perhaps, in a tomb like that unknown soldier. Or perhaps it was floating, unfettered, like a lost satellite in the Earth’s orbit." - Love, love, love. Someone got a wee bit inspired reading Murakami-san. I noticed that in general your descriptions are beautiful. I don't want to say you've impoved as a writer because that would imply that you were bad before (which you clearly weren't) but this was just so rounded and focused. The second part in particular - which makes sense because otherwise it would be like starting off the fireworks display with the explosive sky and ending with a catherine wheel. I want to eat it. The last paragraph... guh. Apparantly I've begun to trail off into inarticulate grunts... I suppose that's the effect it has on me.

But I can't ignore the personal side to this and why I love it so I won't. Imma just embrace it. Sasuke's feeling of loss and time moving forward regardless of those swept up in it. And you evoke it with tragic accuracey. If you didn't give us a taster of their life at the end it wouldn't be nearly so effective because it's a beautiful thing and we know it's going to never be the same.

"Sad is happy for deep people."

I hate you.

<3

Wow I had to read that last paragraph a few times over just to solidify the imagery, what a beautiful passage. I'm very much in love with the english language and you, my fellow author, are a definate gem in the litterary works.

Kudos to you and this wonderful piece of work (again) I can only aspire to write at your level. Time for more practice :)

Lovely.

I could FINALLY read this D: I’ve been studying like crazy all this week. Mmh -_-

It was rather nice. Really nice, actually, arriving at home and being able to read something like this, and not a full of angst-drama fic (and I assure you, I have a lot of those in my ‘to read’ list.. don’t know why though ._.) after a tiring day. Now I’m sleepy xD In a good way. I think this drabble is perfect. Not too much information, just enough. Not that long, but not the shortest one either. And the way you wrote it uh.. Like Sasuke was the one creating the metaphors inside of his head (that’s how I felt it).


…They were guys. It wasn’t necessary to share feelings or cry all over each other. All they both needed was a mutual understanding. Invisible signals concerning when to push and when to give space. This is what brought them together as friends in the first place…

…and he had a strong sensation. A certain longing. It was fleeting, but it struck him quite forcefully…

…The nostalgic, melancholy feeling from before covered him again, heavier than the comforter spread across the lower half of his body. It anchored his limbs…

… A part of him longed to resist its pull, but he bullied it until it merely rattled the cages of his soon-to-be slumbering consciousness. Eventually, it was lost entirely to the fringes of approaching dreams, their feelers locking onto his mind, shedding and warping the day’s images until they were reassembled into something pleasantly new and altogether indecipherable…


I do have reasons for choosing all those fragments, but right now I don’t know how to explain what I want to say.. Since what I say is always something personal, things I’ve been through, or I just like the way you wrote certain idea/s..
Ahh well. I hope you know what I mean.

I don’t care at all which fic you’ll update. Or if you feet inspired one day and write something like this. I always always always enjoy it :B

Thank you for sharing (:

I was definitely tearing up during that! Wonderful job ^_^

Wow, that was really well done. And very realistic. The characterization was great, and so were your metaphors.
Excellent work. I'm extremely relieved and happy to know that you are still writing. ^^

it's always a pleasure to read something you write. this one was very...normal and it was nice. the nostalgia and bittersweet-ness that comes with parting ways with old friends is something everyone can relate to, i think.

i loved your bear metaphor. and naruto's comment about smelling that girl's crotch on his fingers. "Go sniff your fingers some more." that one made me laugh.

great work as always.

thanks for sharing!