Can't get enough of Larsa/Penelo! Great job!

Aw... I like it.

Well written. Fun read.

oh, so sweet, i enjoyed much. my favourite ffxii couple to be honest xDD

I'm going to try and write you a very long review... And since I'm so bored and Sony Vegas keeps freezing and I just feel like it I shall cut this review into sections.

Story 1: I really like how innocent you make Larsa. No thoughts of anything are really going through his head, besides wanting to embrace her, about perhaps having a friendship, and maybe far into the future something more. Larsa, despite how we write him =) is very in character when he would prefer to do things slow, and probably, with the war and stuff going on, doesn't have thoughts like that very often :D

I also enjoyed how you even pointed out they weren't even friends, because he was just about to tell her that he was the brother of Vayne O.O yeah, if I were Penelo I would be scared too. The fact that you did a section - a clip from the game - but in Larsa's point of view instead of like a movie form was really cute!

Story 2: So... This one was longer :D I really enjoy that because the fact that this story is gold - you could make multiple chapters of their life together and stuff, and it would not ruin it at all :D It has enough of a story line, but easily enough does not have too much of a straight forward point to follow (as their relationship luckily has nothing to do with the game [that's the only time I'll ever say that])

The fact that they became friends so quickly, when Larsa promised that he would find her Vaan, and that they would see each other more often than not was adorable. It seemed like they would both realize that they seemingly had a slight crush on the other, despite Penelo's age :D She would be more of someone for personality, where things like looks and age and skill don't really matter, which is extremely in character.

I like how you started without names, and then used their names when you were transitioning between Penelo to Larsa's thoughts. That was clever too :D I'd like to hear both of their thoughts on the situation lol!

Story 3: The fact that you did this part really made me squeal. This is when I actually realized you were taking clips from the game (I'm stupid, get over it =D) But so like... I like how you altered this just a little, so that it was more Penelo/Larsaish and it was very VERY cute too. The way that he's crying but he so DOESN'T WANT TO in front of Penelo.

My favorite thing about this part though, was when he said "What have I done?" So like... His thoughts ARE NOT always on Penelo, and the fact that he said the words everyone knows he's thinking, but cannot pin the dialogue for his thoughts just blew me away. He just helped to murder his brother - something he thought he'd never do, and now he's absolutely like... Dying because of it. =) You win yet another award for one of the "most like Final Fantasy 12" moments once more! Kudos!

Story 4: Because it completely skips over this in the game, straight to the prologue (damn. Another half an hour to the ending of the game wouldn't be so bad lol) I'm glad you put something like this in here as well. It shows how much their relationship truly evolved from when they first knew each other, to when they finally had to depart. It was really sweet how you managed to pull it all together like that =) This was kind of like the ending - the next part a prologue, and for their relationship to slightly begin like that was definitely a nice way to go about it.

Naming off things that Larsa believes he loves about Penelo, and he doesn't deserve about her was a nice added effect. It gives more emotion on just how hard he fell, despite where they were both from, and where the war had taken then. Putting the little details, like the blushing and the panicking, and the way they move their hands together in synchronization made it seem more real!

Story 5: I do have to say, you make Larsa sound very attractive, but not in an unrealistic way =) The way he's busy totally makes sense, and still seems in character, but still adorable just like the game when he's trying to find something on his desk, and then he sees Penelo's letter. He would be thrilled, and the way you wrote him standing and being all happy about it and then seeing Penelo there was very well written :D

Penelo sounds very beautiful - just as she should be at twenty-two years of age =) And the fact that you made them finally see each other again, but still act pretty much the same as the last time they saw each other was a really awesome effect. I enjoy the fact that the way Penelo talks in the game, and the way Larsa talks in the game is brought out in this fanfiction - cause that's just another one of those things that's really hard to master.

Enough of my rambling of every section, I definitely enjoyed the ending line. One day she would figure it out - sounds like such a Larsa's-Determined kind of thing to end with, and that was absolutely phenomenal!

Overall: I'm really very jealous of how well you write in this tense. Even though it's an irritating tense to write in (present tense has always been like that, eh?) it definitely worked very well for this story, and I'm really glad you decided to do it like that! Hell, I'm completely jealous of the way you write in general. Your progress as a writer has improved A LOT and I can definitely say that I'm enjoying it as it gets better and better.

You can find a certain mood of the story that fits with the lightness yet darkness of the game, and go indepth, but not indepth enough for it to be boring and unlike something that might be pondered over in the game. Though it was short, and I would still love to see some length in your oneshots as excellent as these ones, it was really super duper great. =)

You are such an excellent writer, and I do hope that despite the short attention span of my best friend here lol, you will decide to do more writing when you're older, and maybe even consider publishing a book, because it would be very VERY good. I love it a lot, and I'm really glad that you seem to like what you're writing about. The passion for your subjects and what you really believe went on in this story truly blew me away :D

This is coming down to the last maybe 3,0 characters of the review, so I should really wrap this up. I'm really again super impressed with your writing, and I hope that sometime perhaps you'll think of writing a Larsa/Penelo chapter story. You aren't bad at chapter stories at all, and I don't honestly think you would get bored with it. Please consider that? Because it would be a really cool thing and I would definitely read it.

This blew me away, I want more, expect more, and beg for more writing this style, this genre, this game, and this couple if you wish for me to be specific. Thank you so much for writing this - it deserves a review this long! It's a definite favorite :)

Keep on writing Love, because you're absolutely great at it - I cannot gush enough about how strongly I feel on that :)

-zesty-