This was not a filler chapter! It was a good peek into Severus's mind, and that is important. :) I loved the way you described his thoughts at the beginning. I think your writing rests on the line of being too purple, but does not cross it... and I for one am enjoying the complex turn of phrase that makes me pause and think.

I also think your characters' reactions are pretty good as of now. It's hard to tell how anyone would behave in the face of a nervous breakdown, but... you're managing it well. :)

The only bit of CC I have is your italics. You are throwing them left, right, and center! The general consensus is this: thoughts are italicized, and are in present tense because the character is thinking those thoughts at that very moment within the story. Anything in past tense should not be italicized unless it's for emphasis.

Good fic so far! :)

-K

love this story so far keep up the great work!

Hi. I just found this fic via the Potions & Snitched C2, and I have to tell you...I think it's wonderful. I'm not even referring to the story itself, but the way in which you are telling it. You have a wonderful turn of phrase, your Snape seems to be firmly in character, and your imagery is bloody brilliant. This is going right onto my faves list.

Thank you for writing.

Cheers,

Adriann

I love it when I come across a well written and unique story. I'm very happy to have found yours. I love it so far and now it looks as if I won't be getting to bed on time, afterall.

Wow...brilliant story! Poor Harry, he really does need someone to talk to, someone who will understanding what he's been through and what's ahead of him. Whereas both of his friends have been through some of the things with him, but at most of crucial stages he's been alone. Also both Ron and Hermione are still 16yrs inside, they not been forced to mature beyond there age. Not like Harry, who I feel arrived at hogwarts much more mature-experience wise at 11yrs than most other 11yrs. Perhaps both Harry and Severus can offer solace to each other in regards to what they've been through. As I feel Harry would understand Severus, and not condem him for his actions/inactions like someone who'd not shared simplier experiences might. Though its going to be a very slow, bumpy ride for both Harry and Severus, as there tenative relationship to develop.

Wow...I found this first chapter of this story very deeply moving, it brought tears to my eyes just reading it. I could really feel young Harry's pain, that no one appeared to have noticed has been there for a very long time even before he started hogwarts. Yet he never told, or no one asked/or did anything about it.

It's brilliant and I love it! Please keep these chapters coming!

I've only got one word: GREAT! Still loving, so keep writing!

Nice portrayal of Snape's feelings.

Great chapter. I really look forward to Severus and Harry interaction again.

This is a really interesting story. good chapter. Just thought I'd let you know: it's Lily not Lilly.

Yay! A new chapter!

You're very skilled at storytelling. You write in an eloquent, simple prose, and use unique descriptions and details. Your style is concise yet descriptive, which makes for a pleasant read.

I also love your Dumbledore. He is completely in character, and you did a good job of keeping his little quirks without over-exaggerating them. He is still resourceful and manipulative, but has good intentions and an optimistic perspective (true to Rowling's characterization of him in canon).

Your Snape, with his strict outer demeanor and inner conflict and self-reproach, is excellent. I just love it! His pessimistic thoughts struggling against his burgeoning hopeful feelings (the whole mind vs. heart conflict) is so interesting to read. I wonder which one will win? ;)

this is shaping up to be an amazing story. I find that Harry seeking out some one who would tell him when he was not thinking things through an interesting idea. great job.

Excellent chapter - I especially appreciated the depth of severus thoughts and emotions as he considered and contemplated every facet of his conversation with Dumbledore. I did happen to notice he did/could not see a benefit of the friendship for himself, though I believe wholeheartedly that it will be there - hiding somewhere under a rock perhaps - but there none the less...

I did always wonder if Severus considered what would become of himself if the Light were triumphant and he did infact survive. It was the 'epilogue' I most looked foward to in the canon series - but alas... once revered (now reviled) author let me down and killed him instead *disappointed sigh* Can you offer me a different - correct - ending, I wonder?

Great job!

misundersnape...

I like this a lot. Snape's feelings are delicately and finely drawn. It's really sad but believable that he wouldn't allow himself to become close with Harry unless he saw it as a necessity. I also really liked the description of Dumbledore's eyes changing from sky-blue to sea-blue. I look forward to more!