i didnt realy like this, keep trying :D

Are you sure? It's Dark Nation, isn't it?

Hey everybody, you know what's funny? Ceres Wunderkind and Daisy are the same person. Hahaha. Goodness, Ceres, you must've been bored!

That is sooooo cool. I cannot believe it. You are the first person i have read on that has actually finished their writing.

listen "never you mind" i read the story and i have no coments to make . it was bad. but them i read the reviews. they werte much more interesting than the story. so i reviewed the reviews. is not this a free country?

What are you reviewing, "wer cv"? The reviews or the story? Or do you think the reviews ARE the story?

your overprotective mother is realy getting on my nerves!!! if you have some wierd problem ith comndstructive critism tell us yourself. gttg

This is a lot better than the KOD!! wow! umm I'm just wondering about the notes from Daisy. . . there are a lot of misspellings and stuff and in the fic there are none (that I noticed anyway). If Daisy's mom is correcting that much it seem like an awful lot. Also I found that some of the descriptions were a little over the top. It's great to use diverse language but this got a little hard to understand. But still a great improvement from KOD.
~Nerina Dragonstongue

Much much MUCH better than the last one! Good job! Keep up the great work.

This is really good. I hope Will finds Lyra again. And that he doesn't get fat from all the food he eats. I like it!

Think you're probably right Ceres... :)

Sure, ADC, it was this story (LGoH) I was referring to wrt A and M being conscious in the Abyss, not TKoD.

AtF was okay but not as profound as some reviewers made it out to be.

I don't think that TKoD can be saved...

Yeah, Ceres Wunderkind, but that was because After The Fall was actually GOOD. Like what that 'Without Pen or Paper' guy said, this is like a twisted Enid Blyton story, although pretty cute to read (good job Daisy). But if you're referring to Knife Of Destiny about the Asriel/Marisa consciousness thing, you really can't put it in the same league as ATF, because it's just not in it. KOD is not good. Sorry, Daisy, but those Aiyame and Corona people were right, you need to seriously work on that or take it off this site.

Ceres, if you want people to accept stories with Lord Asriel and Mrs Coulter conscious after their fall into the Abyss, then they're gonna have to be damn good. KOD doesn't have the depth for that. Seriously, you can't support that story - there's no substance for a plotline as advanced as ATFs. If it'd been classed as a humour story them maybe it'd be ok, even though there's a massive load of shite considered 'ok' in that genre. But it wasn't, it was classed as fantasy/romance.

Anyhow, I'm going on about KOD when I'm supposed to be reviewing THIS story. Daisy - 'Lyra Goes On Holiday' is pretty good - nice light stuff due to the Enid Blyton-esque style, but still entertaining. One for a rainy day in, which was exactly when I read it. So anyhow, glad to see the grammar and spelling are perfectly in order in this one. Good luck for future projects.

Sayonara,
Angel

That was an excellent story! I loved it, but the end is sad and happy. It made me cry.

Wasn't there once a story on this site called AFTER THE FALL, or something like that, about Lord Asriel and Mrs Coulter in the Abyss? ISTR that it was well reviewed and nobody objected to the characters in it being conscious.

I can't find it now to check. What happened to it?