|Reviews for Another Heart Calls|
| frizzy.writings 10/9/11 . chapter 2
Wooow. I'm going to guess this is an abandoned story, but these two chapters alone are beautiful. I love the setting, the characterization, and the story - I tend to love almost anything that has a blend of FE6/FE7 characters, but this is something else. The descriptions paint a very real and very familiar setting, particularly the last one in this chapter, with Lyn falling asleep in her old bedroom. And there's so much emotion in every description. I love it. This is a great story, and even if it's not continued I'm definitely a big fan of these chapters.
| Flying Banana Dinosaur 6/20/10 . chapter 2
:3 I am way so late to the party but I thought I'd let you know that I love this story so far. And I think you should continue it. It's so... real. And it hit me hard when I read it. I love how... your writing is always so emotionally connected. It's just cool.
| Trevor X 2/9/10 . chapter 2
God, how did I miss you updating this? Blink and it happens!
Wow. I sat here trying to think of something more eloquent to sum up my feelings on the matter, but alas the brain got stuck on 'wow'.
The journal entry reveals a kind of quiet despair that the writer (Lyn) keeps hidden from the outside world. She has this one ray of sunshine, and sometimes it doesn't seem like anything else is worthwhile. I can totally feel the depression in that thought.
At least she as supportive parents. More than I can say for some.
The interplay betwixt Lyn and her mother was enough to bring a smile. [“It could prove to be a worthy challenge, but it’s nothing two strong women can’t handle.”]
The rest of the character interactions give a subtle depth to the chapter, revealing various quirks to people that you might notice but not often think about.
In the end, the reality doesn't match the dream. I think that this is the saddest portion. It hurts to see dreams dying.
You have my utmost appologies for not noticing the update on this sooner! I'll try to do better staying abreast of your stories from now on. (fingers crossed, hopeful)
| SpeedDemon315 1/31/10 . chapter 2
Oh man, I wasn't expecting this but that's in a good way. It's a shame Rath isn't around to help Lyn take care of their daughter Sue but that's how many unmarried relationships go when they have an unplanned pregnancy. And it's tragic in what happened to Ninian, poor Eliwood. And speaking of Ninian's death, is Florina still around? She wasn't mentioned at Sue's birthday party so I wasn't sure...
Great chapter, I look forward for when Sain and Kent enter the picture!
| Trevor X 10/11/09 . chapter 1
Wow - prologue for yet another story. I must say, you've had lots of ideas lately. _
Love the setup, the interaction that gives character to the characters, the intricate descriptions that give LIFE to every little corner of the tale.
Fries from McDonalds and Coca-cola. XD - Totally awesome!
Rath is so down to earth. "Movies are not real."
Love how Lyn listens to her mother, until she's out of sight of the house. Her interaction with her parents is just so... realistic. Although they seem to have a pretty calm relationship, considering.
Anyways, love to see more from ya, hope work doesn't drown ya.
| LittleGreenBudgie 9/28/09 . chapter 1
I have to say, seeing a beautiful AU KentLyn story was completely unexpected. This promises to be utterly amazing!
[Generally speaking, talks between parental units and child in the Rivèra household included—but was not limited to—Madelyn doing the talking, and Hassar inserting a positive or negative grunt as he felt was necessary.] First off, the use of the term "parental units" automatically makes this filled with win. Lyn already sounds like the typical nervous teenager put on the spot, and her sense of nervous humor sets the stage perfectly.
[ I was eighteen, I hoped to be married sooner rather than later, and I didn’t have to look at another textbook again for the rest of my life. Could it get any better than that?] You perfectly captured the invincible, let-life-be-as-it-may attitude of a student on vacation. Her flippant thoughts make this all the more fitting in this AU.
[He talked even less than my father, but there was something about him at the time that I really loved. Maybe I just thought he was mysterious, but…maybe I liked him because we were both so very different from everyone else around us. We longed for freedom, and the chance to be ourselves.] And doesn't everyone think that way? We're all special, we all want to be ourselves and nothing more, and when you're young and in love, there's nothing quite so great. I loved this phrasing.
[I only wore that helmet until we were just out of sight.] Rebellious teenager meets quest for freedom. It's so perfect for her!
[“Movies are not real.”] I commend you for writing Rath-it's accurate, yet I still don't like him very much. Lighten up, man!
[Sharing food in the grass at a park does not a Happily Ever After make.] But it's still so sweet that I think we can all consider it so.
[Rath was Rath, and showing affection or, hell, even human response, was something he hadn’t ever had the chance to learn.] He would. And I sympathize with Lyn.
[College would ruin everything. She couldn’t tell him that.] Lyn, setting herself up for disappointment, I fear, by making plans without consulting her man...
All in all, it was a wonderful first chapter, and I cannot wait for more! Keep up the good work!
| SpeedDemon315 9/13/09 . chapter 1
Wow, I'm going to look forward to these impending chapters! At first, I was suprised of the AU setting (didn't expect it because the diary entry seemed so neutral to it) but still enjoyed the beginning of it nonetheless.
Of course, the characterization of Lyn and Rath were right on, you captured Lyn's need for freedom and desire to feel the wind rushing across her face well-ties in well with one of the lines she said in the very beginning of the game.
This story sounds very promising, I will patiently wait for the next update. Keep up the excellent work!
| Kitsilver 9/7/09 . chapter 1
I like it. Like, really-intrigued-can't-wait-to-see-what-you-make-o f-it kind of like it.
I don't read AU because it doesn't feel real; removing characters from the FE world seems to remove something essential for me. But Lyn feels real here, different from the Lyn I know because of her modern upbringing, but still in character. I feel like I get a real glimpse into her mind too, both in the first person and third, with lines like:
"College wasn't going to happen for me because I couldn't afford it, and I was in a good relationship that i hoped would go far. I was eighteen, I hoped to be married sooner rather than later, and I didn't have to look at another textbook again for the rest of my life. Could it get any better than that?"
"We longed for freedom, and the chance to be ourselves."
"I felt like I had wings, and I wanted nothing more than for Rath and I to spread our wings together and fly, far away from Sacae and both sets of parents."
"She really felt that a higher education was something she didn't - or perhaps wouldn't - have a use for. It wasn't that she didn't want to go."
I feel Lyn's longing for freedom, though she tells herself - and in many ways believes - that life here is enough for her. That conflict, and knowing the change that must happen to upset her world, is a great lead into Lyn's story.
I like Rath in a motorcyle and the cool, reticent nature fits him. I do think he's capable of showing a little more emotion; when Lyn entwines her fingers with his I really want him to squeeze her fingers in response, but I'll have to read his supports again. Overall his character fits.
Your choice of PoV is interesting. First person mixed with third, but third person that uses multiple perspectives. I'm not sure what it is, third person omniscient? Whatever it is, it works, reading smoothly while providing relevant information about character.
This chapter sets up a modern world, a sympathetic heroine, and a life on the brink of change. A good way to begin.
One last note: You've said before that you identify with Kent, but the way you write Lyn in this piece feels so real, that I wonder how much of you is in Lyn as well.
| kittykatloren 9/7/09 . chapter 1
Off to a cute and promising start. Keep it up!