|Reviews for Owen's Fear|
| Edhla 1/3/13 . chapter 1
I know this story is 3 years old, but you SAID R/R, so... ;)
I like what you've got written here. I'm not familiar with the original work but I think you've characterised well, especially Katie.
I thought that the POV headings didn't really work for me, though. I would suggest using a line break instead, and taking out the "POV text". People will understand :)
This is very dialogue-heavy which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I would also have liked to see a bit more in the way of descriptions and scene-setting to really round this out properly- you could really expand this scene to something quite grand :)
There are a few errors with grammar and punctuation- nothing dire, but there. I don't usually point those out in reviews, but PM me if you would like me to show you where they are :)
In all, thank you for writing this, and good luck x