brilliant.

This chapter is really well written. I think you have captured the characters' personality very well. I don't think it's 'too wordy' because i agree it has to be. It's much better than some people's fanfics that simpily written with no meaning at all.
Thanks for the good read. xoxo

I really like it! your writing style is really very nice--it captivates, is that the word? maybe, not quite. it would be really cool if you continued to like this fandom~

Nicely written and great characterisation. Love it!

I liked, it written very elegantly. I love this type of writing style, gives a lot more depth to a character.

Love.
I adore this fic and your writing - how did you pull of the perfect Akiyama, I'll never know. I am in awe. PLEASE WRITE MORE!

m deliciously akiyama. xD you handled the kiss well. usually if akiyama does something OOC in a fanfiction, i will just stop reading and close the window. but you kept me all the way. which is win. 8D

well done you! i shall give you cookies. and i can so see akiyama's brain being horribly prolix. xD

I really loved this one-shot.
It was so in character, and Nao's awkwardness, and Shinichi's thoughts were admittedly wordy--which makes sense, seeing how our streams of consciousness go off in random directions at the oddest times--and the ending was absolutely beautiful.
If you could perhaps write another lovely story for this couple, please...?

Hee, I love this story. There are so many great lines here, like "fumbling with her keys as she tries to push them (all of them, at once) through the lock" and "He wants to pull away from her and run for the hills, even though he’s fairly certain he would look ridiculous fleeing in terror, and he’s also not sure there are any hills within running distance" and "not quite crowding but definitely invading her personal space". I also actually really enjoyed all the fancy words going on in here. They made me feel like I wasn't reading a silly little fanfic or something, but something that was actually worthwhile.

This is nice.

There's definitely a lot of ten dollar words here, but it really lends some levity to Akiyama's normally sober demeanor.

Plus, the way you describe the events is actually very sensual. You really do capture Akiyama's hyper-awareness of the moment.

Good work.