I like that you're trying to arrange for them to kiss under a duress moment. But,I feel that there is some beats missing. I think you need to lead up to a bit more before VAughn finally reaches for her. Or, maybe she reaches for him instead.

Just my initial thoughts.

nice, but the things were too fast... she was greiving over her father... then telling vaughn she loved him... nice but you oculd extend it into chapters if u like! . nice work!

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nice story, but the characters were kind of out of character and the story moved along too fast.

if u build the story up and put the characters in character, then it would be a very good story.