Hi!!
I really really liked your story, I think it's very interesting how you mixed everything and the universe you set it in
I love cyborgs XD I love cyborgs ever since I knew what a cyborg was and I just like a good sci-fi story
also I can't wait to see the romance!! I hope to see the next chapter up soon!
please update!!
keep up the good work!!
see ya!

Hmm, interesting idea. I like it. I've told you before that I like the precision in your writing, I think. XD
But yeah, I'm always wary of criticism because at the end of the day, the chapter is written. I like the background and intro at the beginning, but I think it lacked something in particular. I think it was the "voice" it was written in. The language was either too casual or not casual enough. It was informative, and it told us everything we needed to know...but there was a lack of form in the diction that took away from the whole atmosphere of it, because I didn't get the sense of a distinct personality from it.


Anyway, the rest of the chapter is all kinds of awesome. I love your third person narrative because of the way you're allowed to describe things a first person narrator would likely overlook. It suits your style of writing. You're very meticulous in your description without being over-bearing. All the usual quips are there, it has all the ingredients to be yet another masterpiece a la Lyson. XD


The personalities are true which is fantastic...Tala is a given, but of the others I like Kai...mostly because he differs slightly from the usual, but in a way I think it's a more acurate depiction of him on all fronts. I like it.


So yeah, I'm into it let's keep it coming. =D

OMG i so love it! it is so great! and the cyborgs are so fu/&%$# sexy!

Omg, I love it. Combines my favourite anime with my favourite manga, with my four favourite characters :D Come to think of it, I don't think I have ever read a Beyblade sci-fi fic.

I love how you made all four of them seem like total insane, violent maniacs, and still they're kind of protective and caring.. It brings an interesting twist to the story, which most of them don't have. I can't wait to discover more of their personalities, which is, if I have to say it, what is the most interesting part of the story so far. Well, I'm just a sucker for personalities. In my opinion, that's really what makes the story.

Well, I'm not going to bother you with my babbling any longer. Please update as soon as possible. Can't wait to read more.