I need a tissue. What an emotional story.

i loved this, great work

Glad to see that I am not the only one thinking that this is gonna kill sam.

I'll never believe that Dean thinks Sam isn't worth fighting for. He loves his brother. NO ONE else would have been offered the Impala when they said they were leaving. Sammy gave him the amulet and he was reluctant to give it to Castiel.

Sam needs to forgive himself. They both need to forgive themselves. They both failed miserably and they need time apart to work through it all...then to realize that they belong together in this war.

Very touching fic. Nicely done. :)

okay, first of all, you are a talented writer and thank you for sharing with us. Your story to be short was very dark, or at least it gave me a feeling of the darkness. Hopefully that was the intent. To make a reader "feel" is the ultimate goal. At this point, I will have to disagree with your perspective though. I am totally a Dean girl, so I am sure you will understand. We can agree to disagree agreeably, okay. I feel like Sam brought every bit of this onto himself. He always had a choice. I just feel like he was selfish and even though he may have thought he was doing things for the right reason, what he was doing was wrong. And seriously, as long as he has known about demons, he knows they lie, why would he think Ruby was any different? And he felt himself going down a dark path with the blood thing, he knew what he was doing was wrong or he wouldn't have tried to hide it. I love Sam, I really do, but I just feel like he needs to man up. Remember, just my opinion, don't get upset okay? At any rate, your story was great and you are very talented. Looking forward to more sharing...

"But at this point, after everything, Sam knows he has nothing left to lose. He's made his worst mistake. Anything else can only be an improvement."

So true! As heartbreaking as the end of the episode was, it really *was* optimistic, and I read that tiny thread of hope in your story, too.

For the first time in a long time, the boys in season 5 are not driven by panicked impulses. They are making mature, carefully considered decisions. And I'm confident that they'll be side-by-side soon and trusting themselves and each other this season. Sam leaving (on his own initiative) is the first step toward healing.

Wow, harsh... Suicide is a dream that Sam denies himself... Nope, that didn't ease the burden in my heart after that episode... I feel like I want to cry every time I think about the brothers splitting up... Still, I must be a masochist, because I loved your story. Thanks for posting.

This was so heartbreakingly beautiful a reflection on Sam's headspace. I think you are spot-on with your assumption on how Sam sees himself, how he has lost his place in the world, in Dean's world and feels unworthy fighting for, unworthy for Dean and possibly for himself as well.

I do think, however, that Dean's offer for Sam to take the Impala was a genuine one, even if half-hearted in that Dean knows all too well that Sam won't ever claim Dean's baby, and they both know it.

You really moved me to tears with Sammy's reflections on himself, how unforgiving and self-loathing he is to himself. Now losing Dean's support completely and by extension also Bobby's to a degree, makes it all the harder for him and I worry for his mental stability and sanity.

Him contemplating suicide, or suicide by Apocalypse certainly isn't beyond him although I believe Sam would, at the most, only end up throwing himself in harms way in an attempt to make it count one last time. I won't deny the lure of suicide but I'm positive Sam would never give into that so easily because he knows it is WRONG, and after all he's still a believer, even if only in the fact that that is a mortal sin.

Thank you for writing this tag!

*eep* Oh, that is so killer. Really, it makes you wonder what Sam will do now that, not only does his brother consider him a liability, but he agrees. Oh, dark days are ahead.

Man, this just killed me. Sam's pain is just so all emcompasing and...endless. It breaks my heart. Beautifully written, as always. Now we need something with a bit more hope in it, eh?

This episode was really really really sad. "Dean believes Sam can’t be trusted.

Dean’s right." :( oh boys..

I want to sit here and say that I could never see Sam feeling this way, but the truth is he's already shown that he is more that capable of suicidal actions from the Trickster and Lilith's killing of Dean. Ta.

You really do a great job of portraying the depth of Sam's despair. If he were a real person, I would have to hunt him down and give him a hug!

aww!! sammy! you are worth fighting for! i loved it!

You know, don't you think Dean would be slightly worried that Sam might just do as you suggest and kill himself? What has he given him to live for? I'm so annoyed at the way the writers are portraying Dean (though in fanfiction it could be a really good limpSam story).

I did enjoy the episode, though. I like when Sera G . writes an episode, she at least gives Sam some feeling and touches on what he must be going through... I liked in the episode when Sam tries to say he misses saving people and Dean goes straight into you miss the Demon blood, again missing the point as to how Sam got to where he did.

Anyway, your stories, as usual go where I think the show should, but doesn't. Poor Sammy I just want to give that poor boy a hug...