Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.
Colonial!America...
Why so oblivious!?

-hides face in shame that she brought upon herself-

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I Definitely should NOT have enjoyed this as much as I did. It was amazing D: OMG

>

“You just shot something warm inside me…It’s not poison, is it?!”

LMAO. I just lol'd, so much. :'D
This fic was brilliant. Good job. <3

And yes, oblivious!america is my favorite. Especially when his partner is being shy/tsundere.

This. Was. Perfect.

But since I must always have something to say (Because I want to see my favorite authors improve!) it's better if you minimize speaking and prioritize the imagery for the reader. This especially important when writing **, since the purpose of the story is to excite the reader. The reader should be able to vividly make images and imagine feelings without molding too much of it themselves. In the case of this story, the text added to the story each time. It would just be better if you shortened the number of words you need to get across their points.

A thing I love is how you carry out the element of Shotacon. Throughout the story I was clearly aware they were young, which was good. I was drawn in completely by their adolescence, you made it apparent from beginning to end that they were kids. Which is pretty important. If Shotacon is written just like adult **, it's boring. But you kept the theme surfaced front to back, for that I say Bravo!

Thank you very much for writing, keep this kind of thing up! ;D

this made me laugh so hard! XD
i luv alfred so much!! and poor matt has to deal with him EVERYDAY!! ;p

F- v-very nice shota... *u*;

Oh lord. -snorts-
Colonial Alfred is so cute.
Good Work Right Here! <3

>_> I feel dirty...I'm going to pretend they were teenagers. <_< It..was...