Oh my this has the potential to be awesome. I love Last Remnant fics, but sadly it's so under appreciated. Can't wait to see where this goes. Gives pleading look for an update.

This has the making of something epic :) although it's only the first chapter I can tell it's one of the best Last Remnants I've seen. Can't wait to see what happen's next.

I like this story! You've got a nice, slow build-up that's begging for more. I hope you'll continue it!

You've got some really good ideas here, and also very nice characterisations so far. The actual writing can be brushed up a little by a quick beta, but I'm definitely not complaining since I make lots of typing and grammatical mistakes myself. I think one thing you should watch out for is the switching point of views. For example, in the second-to-last paragraph, it's from Rush's pov. Then the last paragraph is from David, but it doesn't really indicate that, so it can get confusing. It's hard to notice this when you're writing it because obviously you know what's happening!

Looking forward to the next chapter. :3

Hooray for a new author in the Last Remnant realm! It was great to read this and I hope you write more soon, you left it at quite a cruel cliffhanger! Dave/Rush reunions are seriously too wonderful of a guilty pleasure =)