Capt good story. Been down that road as well. Keep it up, I really enjoy all your work.

I swear I'm not getting as much reading done, because of all my stuff. At least I finally had a chance to read your latest.

Right hand salute to you as well,


Larry (Sentinel 103)

what MrDrP said--not the char--our fellow fanauthor

now--little niggling criticisms out of the way

again, it's what you do best--take a moment from your own life & turn it into a heartfelt story.

realistic portrayal of the hospital scene--from the pen of one who has seen a disproportionate share of hospitalization himself.

& happy 24th, 25th, 26th, etc.

Wow, and my only criticism of the story was to be the unlikelihood of such a thing happening, especially on a cell phone. The hospital phone..never mind. Good story. Sorry that such a thing really happened to you.

Awesome story! You had the wrong number thing at both the beginning and the end, effectively doing a full loop. Tears were a given for the pain and sorrow that happened for both the known and unknown in your story. I am glad to hear that your son was alright. Keep up the great writing! :)

Very effective moment with the call. Can't imagine such a thing happening. My salute to four years of good writing.

Wow, Cap. That was a nightmare. And you actually went through that? I'm so sorry, and also for whoever really experienced the loss.

The words "she died" sort of shocked me as (and granted, there is no comparison to losing a human being) just two weeks ago a beloved pet died unexpectedly on the operating table and I got the phone call. So even though this was a minor tragedy (though it certainly didn't feel like it) the idea of getting a phone call saying someone had died on an operating table or in a hospital hit very close to home.

And way to pull a curve ball on us with the title.

Thank you, Cap, and congratulations for the story and on your anniversaries.

I cannot imagine what news like that would do to a person. When you add the self-recriminations that Ron was putting himself through. It would have been doubly heart breaking. The bedside confessions were well done and heart warming. All might not be as it was but, it's getting there.

This just sets the bar higher for the rest of us to aspire to reach.

That was a couple of scary times you put the kids -and us-through. Wrong numbers do have that effect.

Great story, Captain, and Happy Anniversary!

Very good oneshot,

two times a wrong number, both very unpleasant.
Having a wrong number call containing that information is... unspeakable, for both parties.

Keep up the very good writing that you do,
reader101w

Very heart rending for all.

Nice story and congradulations on turning Five today.

Look forward to the next five years

Ja ne

Jim

For some reason, I had a feeling this would be another real-life experience fic from the Captain. And I mean that in the best possible way :)

A beautiful, yet scary, well-written take on an experience that could most definitely happen in the KP universe. I can only imagine what you must've gone through, but glad to hear your son made it out okay. In the context of the story, it really would've been heartbreaking if Kim had died before Ron could set things right with her. Ron's enlightenment will most definitely have him apprieciating what he has with Kim more than ever before.

Terrific job, as always, Cap'n!

Very well written, and very scary indeed.

Congrats!

Yes, wrong numbers can make a mess. Glad your son is fine.

Keep the good writing.

salute back bro good story keep up the work

This is one of those times I really wish you'd done a little more editing and polishing of your story (e.g. using contractions such as "I've" in stead of "I have" or "You'll" instead of "You will." Also, there was no need to make Ron seem so uber-competent when driving the Sloth; it detracted from the strength he already brings to his work with Kim.

So, yo ask, "Why the critiques?" The answer: because you have a fine story here that deserves to be even better. The concept was engaging, the action moved along, the heart was tugged appropriately and at the right times. Having read this, I still can't believe it was almost six thousand words long -- the tale just sped by as if it were a quarter the length.

Well done!