Hi there dude, my name's EDK... I first discovered your story a few weeks back, started to read it and I've got to say, your story truly rocks!!

I actually love the way you've managed to make some of those who would normally be considered the 'bad guys' in canon into much more likeable characters. Even those that are still evil get a reasonable exploration for why they ended up that way. The Dai Li are the Avatar's version of Storm-troopers and the fact you've managed to not only give one of them a human face, but one that the reader ends up warming to, it really speaks of your great skill. Looks like Shirong picked up a little extra from the Spiritbending that Zuko did to save his life (wonder if that means that he can now affect lava more then your average Earthbender could or even perform double element bending but with earth and fire)... I do hope that he joins up with Zuko's group later on, since it would be a shame to lose him to Azula's takeover of the Dai Li or killed during the same event!

Looks like Zuko is finally starting to find out about his potential connection to dragons on his mother's side of the family... But the whole concept is sounding so crazy that Zuko is finding it hard to believe, and who could blame him? You can bet he'll be having words with Iroh about this though, once Appa has been freed!

You really have to feel sorry for Toph, don't you? Aang only seems to put in enough effort to get a basic understanding of a earth-bending move down, then he goes onto the next one, without trying to make it more fluid or natural to use. While he is on a tight time limit to master all the elements to stop the Fire Lord, there's no need to be that hasty... Added to that, his attention span is incredibly short, which leads to huge problems when it comes to the harder moves. And Katara's no help either! She just doesn't get the fact that sometimes you need to push your limits to get better at things and she's enabling Aang to develop some very bad habits when it comes to his training, despite the fact it would be in everyone's best interests for Aang to get serious about his training. If this is how he ended up training in canon, it's no wonder that he freaked out a few days before the invasion, like a kid who hasn't done enough study for a major exam that's the next day. I do like how Toph's thinking of Iroh as a uncle figure though, since he seems to care more for her then her parents by treating her with respect... He's also filling in the more interesting details of stories that Katara and the members of Team Avatar hadn't told Toph every detail of. Katara was lucky, those pirates could done whatever they wanted when they caught her, if Zuko hadn't been there to rein them in!

Poor Amaya, she was probably hoping that the stories that Zuko had told her about how childish and foolish the Avatar was were false... But they're not only been proven true, she can see now that Zuko was actually understating just how serious the problem was! I think she's just lost a lot of respect for Aang and Katara, since she thought that they were more mature and skilled than this. The mere fact that Avatar Kyoshi wasn't too keen on the four nations either interbreeding or even learning how to use moves from other elements with their own element is also an interesting development, since the people who live on her island have done the first item and shows that past Avatars haven't been that open-minded. Looking forward to seeing just how important Temul was and the truth behind the Fire Nation's "blackest day"...

Sokka is actually the most rational thinker after Toph in the Avatar's group, you just need give him both enough info to work on and proof that his original assessment on a subject may have been flawed. And I think Amaya's chat with the gang may have planted the seeds of doubt in his mind about just how evil the Dai Li really are, if they were willing to take on a haima-jiao, just to protect their city and its people (even those who weren't born in the Earth Kingdom). If Zuko's information is both detailed and shocking enough, we could see him agreeing with Toph to leave Ba Sing Se, right after they get Appa back... It's Katara and Aang that will be the hardest to persuade though, since once they get an idea into their heads, it's almost impossible to talk them out of it. They both need to grow up and learn to pick their battles better! I loved the way you have Amaya tear down. Fact is, Katara has squandered her talents, just like Aang! She had the potential to be both a great healer and fighter, but decided to focus only on the basics of healing, just so she could learn the more exotic fighting moves. While she is certainly a great fighter now, she's no master yet... A true master would have learned both healing and fighting, so that they can draw from both areas of knowledge. After all, if you know how to heal, you can use your knowledge of the body to strike its weak spots on the person you're fighting. And if you know what kind of weapon made a wound, it'd be easier to treat it...

Amaya was calm and logical with all her points and warnings that the Avatar group were in danger of getting brain-washed. But Katara just goes and throws a childish fit at the mere thought of the Fire Nation being better then them at something (resistant to mind control) and she manages to wreck any chance that Amaya had of talking sense into the group, except for Toph. And Aang is a fool, if he thinks that he can go without learning even a bit of Firebending. What better way to know how to counter something, then by learning it?

Man, Aang really needs to take an honest look at his skills and figure out ways to improve them. While he does have great Airbending skill and talent, all his other skills need some serious work! He can't even sense spirits when he's right on top of them for crying out loud, so how can he even expect to detect them at a distance...? Relying on someone to tell him every time is not a option, the fact that the Dai Li have kept even the smallest rumour of any trouble under control, both inside and outside the walls for so long should have been a major clue that he needs to learn how to sense spirit trouble by himself! But the way he got all fired up, only to go back to putting up the posters, was priceless... Toph's thoughts: 'Forehead, meet palm. Repeat' really sums up how I felt!

This ought to be very a interesting team-up, Zuko and Toph, Blue Spirit and the Blind Bandit working together... It would be cool to have Shirong meet up with them, since he'd been thinking about the Blind Bandit before the battle with the kamuiy. Poor Huojin, this is not going to go down well with him, knowing about a crime but also not wanting to stop it... After all, this task is vital, otherwise Ba Sing Se may be at ground zero for another attack by vengeful spirits and this time, they're not going to be too choosey about their targets!

But something is telling me that their first plan to free Appa is not going to go too smoothly, since things never seem to go well for Zuko when it comes to anything that relates to the Avatar. Maybe one of the other members of the Avatar gang, not too sure who would work best for it though, manages to pick up a lead that brings them to the same place. If that's the case, my gut would be on Sokka to figure it out, remembering what Joo Dee said about Lake Laogai. Or Jet and his group could still be alive, despite how bad it looked for them when we last saw them and they end up bumping into Katara.

Having Zuko able to bend water along with his natural fire is very cool, since you've made it a slow and gradual process, not giving him an instant mastery of it. Like others have said before me, I can't wait to see Katara's face when she sees Zuko redirect one of her attacks...

I do hope that you manage to have Mai and Ty Lee join up with Zuko's group somehow (maybe have them captured and converted to his side by them seeing just little their lives actually meant to Azula, except as tools to help her capture or kill the Avatar)... It would also be really cool if either Ty Lee or someone else that joins up with Zuko gains the ability to Airbend. That way, we can have both groups with at least one bender for each element (even if Aang doesn't want to use fire, he still has that ability)! It also goes with Zuko's plan to have a place where all four elements are welcome to mix... Looking forward to the next chapter, EDK out!

"Only Imperial Firebenders are that precise," ? Really? Or did you not realize that's a quote straight out of Star Wars?


This has been a great story so far. Well written, good mechanically. You capture the characters, and everything you're doing fits into the mould of the greater Avatar world. Eventually it'll have to conflict more majorly with Canon, I can tell, but for now, you're doing a good job of fleshing out Zuko and Iroh's days on the road.

Now this is really really good stuff. Especially with the amount of History and Culture popping into it without even being referenced directly, you seem to pretty well read and smart XD.

And a very good writer indeed, as to the Iroh shaped plothole you mentioned a few chapters back I personally would figure that the whole point is that no one must choose evil, which is what makes Azula and Ozai giving in something they can be disliked for, if we were meant to think they had no choice we would feel sorry for them.

However there is a small (huge) plothole in chapter 15 of your story. Aang was brought into the Avatar State by The Ocean but it was still the Avatar State in control, just like at several other points before he gains control over it. Furthermore that was in itself retaliation by The Ocean spirit for what Zhaoi did to The Moon.

I'm afraid that I couldn't not defend Aang; rabid Taang shipper I'm afraid. Can't help it.

Still awesome story.

Peace out and Rock on,

Anzer'ke.

I will admit that when I read the summary and the first two or three chapters, it was with a bit of an eyeroll. "AU S2 Zuko" has been done so many times and sometimes so poorly that I only kept reading because someone had highly recommended it.

Well, I am very glad that I stuck with it, as it is ranking up there as one of the best AU fanfics I've read so far, in that you take the setting and really bend it around to make it yours. Far from being tedious, your original characters are engaging and add depth to the plot, and are being used to explore new facets of the Avatar world. I'm especially loving that Shirong is both Dai Li and a Good Guy, and that we're seeing the human sides of other Dai Li (Long Feng's hinted-at back story is very nice).

Amaya is also lovely, and I've totally been hoping that she and Iroh would hook up from her second chapter. And I'm glad that she's making Iroh work for it.

I'm also loving that you're exploring the world and poking at it, from bending and elements to spirits and the spirit world. I actually found myself hoping that it'd be a nice long while until we re-intersected with the "main" plot, because the Adventures of Apprentice Zuko, Amateur Ghost Hunter in Ba Sing Sei, were quite engaging. It also made the biggest suspension of disbelief -- Zuko as waterbender -- easy to take, as we see him adapting and accepting as he so reluctantly does.

I also love all the hints at him being a dragon child and how that is developing; Meixiang's reaction to him ("My Lord") and his responses are so very poignant. It also pulls in the very real and interesting themes of diaspora and refugees, in a way that the series barely touched on.

I'm excited to see where the story is going, though I was a little disappointed by how Katara has seemed to regress from the maturity she displayed during the aftermath of the stand-off -- though I'm glad someone is calling her on the presumption of being "fully trained" at 14. I very much hope that this is set up for her and Zuko's eventual interaction; oh, is she going to be ** that he can out-bend her at something.

I can also see your prose improving as the story goes on; you've gradually reduced the amount of sentences dedicated to internal exposition, which makes the prose and the story stronger in my opinion.

Anyway. Can't wait for more.

This story is absolutely amazing! I'm sorry I haven't reviewed before-I've been simply too busy rereading the chapters. Or possibly just lazy. That's also a possibility. But I wanted you to know that I eagerly await each new chapter coming out. It really makes my day. I haven't actually seen all of Avatar, just enough to know the basic main characters, but missing a lot of the events. But this story, even based on the relatively small amount of the show I've seen, is so much better. The original is a children's show, and it was good, but I like this so much better, especially looking at it from the perspective of someone older, and hopefully wiser. So thanks so much for sharing this story with us. I can't wait to see how it goes. I think this really is the best story I've ever read.

Yay Toph... at least one of the people with Aang is thinking properly... I liked Avatar on the whole but there were parts that bugged me a lot... I love this fic because it gives so much more depth to Zuko and the Fire Nation and you have great great OCs... ^_^

Excellent chapter~

Love Toph's logic as to why she trusts Zuko--it is all true.

The opening scene was brilliant--Shirong snuggling in the dirt.

Zuko's anger--the white hiss or fury--awesome description! It perfectly describes what happens when you get really angry--the world fades away and all that left is the anger. The way to reassure that fury is inventive.

Can't wait to see more~

Well! This chapter gives me... several different feelings. I don't know what to think of it.

Comment first on the update speed! Liek woah! I didn't even think it'd be worth to look for an update until like, Sunday or something! And you did it on a Wednesday... so I'm guessing writer's block is over, aye? :D

Favorite scene here would be the one between Meixiang and Zuko. That. Was. Gorgeous! I totally envisioned something like that would happen back when you brought up the concept of loyalty. The scene between them was sharp! Zuko going into such rage! And then brought out by Meixiang swearing fealty to him! And him denying he is her lord, but she telling him that he is. Such a SQUEE~ worthy scene! Made me think of back when Ursa ran, she hugged him and told him to never forget who he is. That's what she meant!

Shirong showing up! And being all warm 'n cozy on a bunch of rocks! That scene makes me think of a big lazy cat dozing under the sun. *snickers*

So Lee overdid something, huh. And Amaya mentioned later on that he listens to the energies, I do wonder if this "something" will wear off, or will Shirong end up carrying it for the rest of his life.

Though, hmm, so Lee isn't going to join the Dai Li... sad! I thought for sure that all this will build up to him doing so, and then end up becoming a proctor of Ba Sing Se, revealing himself when Azula attacks and end up having an Agni Kai either in the palace or right outside of the outer wall... which now really doesn't seem likely since it's all Earth, and as soon as he reveals who he is there are going to be a wave of people trying to kill him for it. It still made nice pictures for me to think about, like when Azula made her 'you Dai Li belong to me' speech, and Lee pop out and utterly shocks her, heh.

Back to the Meixiang and Zuko scene... he terrified Jinhai and Suyin, didn't he? When he was so very angry. I would love to see a reaction scene later on, either when Jinhai or Suyin talking about it or telling it to professor dad, and I can't decide if Tingzhe will go ballistic-dad or intrigued-professor mode over it, though Meixiang will likely sooth things over... Hmm, speaking of Meixiang, she's no simple Fire Nation either, is she? I mean, the knowledge she has, about firebenders and dragons, I would guess at least her grandfather was a firebender of some stature, for him to know so much about loyalty and the first firebenders to tell her... which made me think of just /who/ her family was in the Fire Nation, and why she was given the order to run. But she's not loyalty, because then her training would have started at four... right now I'm guessing perhaps they were subordinates of someone who ended up on Azulon's list?

Back to their conversation! Well! That certainly explained my question on why Huojin didn't react to Iroh! So Shidan's bloodline is the reason why here! But that also means Azula has the same "problem", I wonder how she handles that... The rage, at least, since she's so controlled and calculating.

Zuko shattering ice to vent, and his thought on pain. That was... harsh. Really harsh. I can see why he would think that way, and why he would accept it. But it's hard to accept it. I feel angry at the story and at you, for writing the story in such way that it feels /accurate/ that he would endure this pain, and feel so helpless. And Iroh and Amaya's conversation makes me even angrier, because he was made into a puppet like this. Even as an outsider I know the "real" reason Zuko kept running into them is because the show needs a constant antagonist, seeing it from how Iroh described it makes so much sense, and that also feels extremely upsetting, especially combined with Zuko's thought on Sokka's age, and then compared him with Azula. He is only sixteen himself, and he's already lost so much, but the spirits will make him lose more. It also makes me angry at Kuzon, because if he hadn't made that promise, whatever it is in detail, I get the feeling that Zuko would not have been like this... then again, he wouldn't have been Zuko as well.

Iroh's comment about the rank between prince and general was neat though, and again, quite fitting. Zuko is prince, despite being exiled.

And we got to see a bit of the Gaang... which, ouch. The biggest conflict on how I feel about this chapter. On one part, I /remember/ how much I loved the show and the characters, and then, I saw how utterly /childish/ every one of them is being. It makes me a bit sad, because I know after this chapter, I likely won't be able to read any Gaang-centric fics and like them anymore, because they won't have this kind of "insight".

Several things here, Toph's thought on Aang not training hard, and Katara "encouraging" that behavior, Aang not wanting to learn firebending because of Katara, Katara insisting she's a master waterbending, Aang becoming hyper and starts to babble about how "cool" Katara was, Sokka flatly saying that Dai Li = evil, Amaya should help them, and all of them going ballistic as soon as Amaya said Fire Nation, strong. And Katara's sob story about her mother.

All of these little things, which are all back up at various points in the show, put together like this in a single scene, wow, I did not realize just /how/ childish they can be. It feels really sad now, because this childish group did end up "winning the day" in the canon storyline...

This also shows how deep-rooted their thoughts about the Fire Nation and Zuko are as well. Which /really/ makes me wonder just /how/ they would get along, or even at all! And the Jasmine Dragon, ouch, the Jasmine Dragon... before I had hopes that maybe they would never run into each other, or even if they did Katara would think about how Zuko healed Iroh with her and "paid his debt" and not have a freakfest... but with Iroh getting his beloved tea shop in the Inner Ring, and seeing how the Gaang talks about the Fire Nation in general here, I'm really wincing to see what the big blow up will be.

Toph here was solid. Which again makes sense because she's Earth, even though she's young as well. And back up by the concept that those taught by the original benders are gifted, what with her learning from the badger-moles... heh, I think Professor Tingzhe would be very interested in her if he find out about that.

Backing up a bit, Shirong found out about Iroh... and didn't tattle! That was... surprising, and not. Surprising because he is Dai Li, and they are Fire Nation... not surprising because once I thought about it, I guess it could be seen that he's using that as a "payment" of sorts for Lee's aid. Which make me wonder if Katara did have her freakfest, if Shirong ends up being one of the Dai Li to bring them in, what would happen? Or, worse, if Shirong ends up being compromised because of his connection to them...

Anyhow! Intense chapter! Looking forward to the big blow up coming up, and also not! Because Zuko deserves peace, but he's not going to get it... so might as well get it over it. Thanks for the writing and the quick update! ^_^

Wow. Just, wow. I think this is probably some of the highest-quality writing I have EVER seen, from fanfiction or anything else.

Your characterization is amazingly spot-on, and I love your use of the unreliable narrator. A very good reminder that every person has their own way of looking at things, and no two definitions of "right" and "wrong" are exactly the same.

I particularly like your portrayal of the Gaang. The show itself gave them great character development, but was clearly limited in the range of what they could delve into because it was, in the end, a children's TV show. I love the way you take advantage of the freedom of expression of the fanfiction medium, showing the Gaang's behavior from an adult's point of view while still doing justice to their characters. A lot of Zuko-focus fanfic would take the opportunity to bash them while making Zuko the more sympathetic character, but there's none of that here. Bravo.

I also appreciate that so far, the only real romance is with Iroh and Amaya. Not only are they a great couple, but it's a relief to find fanfic without any of the shipping mess the fandom gets into. (What the creators thought they were doing, where the only relationship that gets realistic development is between a twelve-year-old and a fourteen-year-old, I have NO idea. Ugh.)

Your OCs in general are fantastic, and don't even really feel like OCs; they fit into the Avatar universe just as well as the canon characters do. I've become really attached to all of them, particularly Professor Wen and Meixiang. I'm just as excited for the OC-focused scenes as I am the canon character ones. Out of curiosity (and because I'm no good at noticing this type of thing myself), you said there were... two based on Buffy characters? I'd really like to know which ones, and who they're based on. :D

The depth and richness this story has is just mind-boggling. I find myself rereading chapters at every free moment, impatient for the next update, and I always get a little thrill when I get the new chapter notice in my inbox. I love the premise, I love the world-building, and I absolutely adore your Zuko; I've never seen any other author who just nailed him the way you do. And the waterbending angle is completely fascinating.

Thank you so much for sharing such a work of art with the internet. If you ever get published, or if you already are, PLEASE say so on your profile or something. I would go out and buy that book in a heartbeat.

Man, Zuko never gets a break, does he?

That said, the way he handles the threat to the life he's been slowly building is pretty admirable. He's worried, and scared, and he gets so mad he literally whites out... but he never totally loses control and he forces himself to think the situation through and even (gasp!) grits his teeth and looks for help. I don't think he could have done any of that in the early chapters of this story.

More hints that Kyoshi really messed things up good and proper way back when... I'll be really interested to see where you go with this. She seems like such a larger-than-life personality in canon, but that's got its bad side as well as its good.

Delighted to see Toph again! She and Zuko both have such adult personalities relative to their actual ages - I can't wait to see how they play off each other in this situation.

This is a fantastic chapter! Please update soon!

Aw! The cuteness that is Iroh and Amaya! Loved Iroh's insistence on telling Amaya the truth, and her response was wonderful; neither massively dragged out or underplayed.
Really enjoyed all the little details you managed to work in here; smoke sugar, the snowball, Things About To Blow Up etc.

...sometimes, I just want to smack the Gaang (Toph excluded) so hard. Don't they see what utter, total, close-minded hippocrites they're being? Of course not; they're children. Black is black and white is white - they can't comprehend the possiblity that there might be shades of grey. If Zuko ever manages to get them to shut up and sit still and listen, I can just - well, I can see him lauching a tirade that would last for quite a while, pointing out all their faults and weak points in order. He really needs - he needs a chance to talk, or just scream at them his point of view.

You know, I kinda - well, I like the Gaang as much as anyone - they're the token protagonists for the series. Even so, I don't really LIKE them, if that makes sense. I hate their smug, self-righteous attitude - I can understand that they're just children (most of whom have had an extremely secluded upbringing) but that is simply no excuse for how absolutely idiotic and close minded they're being. I am very much looking forward to Zuko shattering all their preconceptions and FORCING them to see the world as it is. A comment that Sozin would approve of their plan would work wonders...

Then again, the sight of Zuko angry - I mean truely, soul-rendingly angry - would probably do that. I don't think that any of them have ever seen him that angry before - he's never tried to serious hurt the. It would be a shocker, to find out just what he's capable of doing.

On an off-note, I love the way Amaya put Katara down. Yes, I know that the girl calls herself a WAterbending master - but only in a sense. She's a fighting master - if she claims differently, it's either ignorance of hubris. She is not a healer. She's a battlefield medic, if anything - I can see Amaya putting her down so neatly and calmly should the girl claim otherwise. "What is the proper way to deliver a child? What is the treatment for Camelcat fever? The symptoms of mental trauma?" And Katarra just can't answer... You know, assuming that she's a master is just folly. The truely great masters always know just how much there is that they don't know.

I loved it when Zuko went into a Dragon Rage, and the way Madame Wen knew how to deal with the situation. I'm espectially intrigued by the fact that she knows a bit more about dragons then Uncle does - at least in this one area; in a sense, I can kinda see her being his 'dragon-teacher' (I am so looking forward to the scene when Zuko finds out that he's dragon-born. For some reason, I see him displaying his relationship to his Uncle quite clearly at this point. That is, falls over in a dead faint.)

...I hope he gets his people out. I hope that they make their way to the outpost. I hope that he can be the leader that he's always been meant to be, and rule over his people - his *real* people.

And I hope he knocks the Gang's socks off.

And a happy thanksgiving to you too! Nice long chapter. Loved it. I really want to give feed back, but I do not know how.

I love the Zuko's inner conflict and love how others, like Meixiang, can see and calm him down. Amazing how Meixiang reacts to her lord, proving his divine right to rule...or at least show that his people are loyal to him despite him being exiled. I love how you are showing his people's willingness to be loyal to him.

It would be great for Katara, Sokka and aang to see their hypocrisy. Katara and sokka automatically assume the worst in zuko and the fire nation in general. They do not seem to think of why zuko acts the way he does. They don't think. Their judgement in clouded. The same goes with aang.

This story is so intense and relaxing at the same time. It's not just action, it's about inner conflicts and the thoughts of the characters.

Write on!

Yes! Toph gets her life-changing field trip with Zuko! That was one part of the series I was disappointed with.

What an amazing chapter! So much happened and yet I was so disappointed when the chapter finally ended. Amaya prescribed sunlight? Does this mean that Zuko's made Shirong slightly firebender... or something? I was slightly disappointed that my dreams of Zuko meeting up with the GAang as a Dai Li agent were shattered, but this turn is more realistic. Zuko is trying to cover for everyone should he fail, so it's understandable.

The scene when Zuko went into a blind panic was so wonderful to read. Though I don't think you've been writing out all the lessons it's nice to see how Zuko's relationship with the Wen family has been progressing. Suyin's welcome and quick understanding of the situation was well thought out. And I absolutely loved the scene with Zuko and Meixiang! The Wen family's loyalty to him is really well shown and I also loved reading the scene when Suyin was walking him home. She may be young, but she knows when to ask questions and when not to.

The part when he caught the flyer was halarious! I love the little crossovers you do with the original series and yet you add something that keeps us entertained and guessing.

Once again, I love Toph! Katara needed some point in the series when she was wrong. Again, something I wish had happened in the series. She reminds me a bit too much of myself and definately needs someone to tell her how close-minded she's being sometimes. I have to admit that I did a little cheer when Amaya praised Zuko's waterbending over Katara's (at least when it came to healing).

I really hope the next chapter is out soon! Admittedly I'd be willing to wait years if it means this'll be finished, though I'd rather not have to wait that long.