Amazing story!

So, I really like the story like so far ( even though it is just the second chapter), but a word of advice: cut back on the hyphens. Hyphens are good when used in dialog for stuttering and such but in you're using them in the place of commas, semicolons, and ellipses (where you have three periods in a row). For example, a good place to put an ellipse would be in the last sentence of this chapter in the place of the hyphen. I really am just trying to help, over use of hyphens is disconcerting.

I don't know if you read reviews for this story any more but I thought I'd try and give it a critique.

It has a very interesting premise, which was what got me through the story to the end, but the writing itself could really use a beta reader/proof reader. I realise you're not a native English speaker - neither am I - which is why a beta would be of such good use for you.

It was a struggle for me to get through the story because of the unorthodox use of punctuation, odd word choices, and faulty grammar. There was no real flow to the text. In fact toward the end I confess to skimming much of it, picking up only the gist, because much of it was unnecessary repeats and fillertext. However the actual premise made me want to know what happened in the end. Very sweet ending )

I seriously think that with someone else to help you look over what you've written, this story - and future stories - would be really good. Even established authors have editors and proofreaders,

Despite the struggle I had, I thank you for sharing this version of Severus and Hermione with us all!

Normally I am appalled by the idea of Snape and Hermione getting together but this story makes me want to shake and scream at my laptop about how stupid they both are about their feelings.

great story I loved it

haha loved the progression of conversations in this chapter! made me laugh some of them!
loved how it ended with hermione and snape moving in together and how they have a child!

Amazing story! I loved it so much :)

Haha, you nailed it with that last sentence! :D

Started reading your story a few hours ago, and it seems that I can't stop reading :D Nice so far, I rather like the way you switch the POV's and the language between characters. Not sure how much I like Ophelia, but she brings something new to this type of setting, that's for sure.

Im so glad i found this story. Its wonderful. I look forward to more of your work, and great job on your mary. It had just the right thouch, amd the children were spot on with their manerisms. ;)

THAT WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL. THE ENDING WAS SO ADORBS. I'm sorry.. It's a bit weird putting it like that but I JUST CAN'T. This is my first SnapexHermione fic and can I just say that I feel so.. Happy? Honoured? It-was-my-please-feeling? That this was the first. I loved it. Absolutely.

I loved how you made hermione's parents have a bigger role in this fic and I loved Ophelia and I loved how Hugo wanted to be a dentist and Rose being like her mom and I loved how Snape blossomed and I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING.

I was a bit hesitant to read it at first cause I really love Ron and Hermione together and now I'm just so happy that I read it! I'm having mixed feelings about how you made the weasleys a bunch of kinda-like-assholes but I also kind of loved it cause YOUJUSTMAKEEVERYTHINGPERFECT . That didn't make sense but oh well. Sorry for the long review. Forgive me?

BOTTOM LINE: I LOVED IT. I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVED IT.
And now, I'm off to read more of your fics. Ta!

ILOVEDTHISCHAPTERSOMUCHANDID ONTKNOWWHYBUTIJUSTREALLYREAL LYDOSORRYNOSPACESMYSPACEBARB ROKE

amazing story i started reading it and couldn't stop

HUGO AND OPHELIA SITTING ON A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G AND NEXT THEM IS HERMIONE AND SNAPEEE... S-E-... -coughs- -blushes- What? They're old enough. -rolls away-

A new name, huh? How about father? Or dad? Or daddy or daddykins or-