Shego as the princess and Kim as the street rat. Your reader finds the characterization intriguing. The char’s as they are in the series would lend themselves to it being the other way around: Kim as the well-bred child of privilege, the ‘princess’ (as Shego nicknames her) and Shego as the petty thief surviving by her wits…not that I object; I only make an observation.
Chi'ago. It’s reminiscent of ‘Chicago’. Or ‘Chia Pet’. And it throws me for a curve. What KP char is he based off of…if he is?
Mayde-Eet-Uppa. I actually had to repeat it so myself in order get it.
(with apologies to Madonna and Dick Tracy) I had to think again for a minute. Oh, yeah. Warren Beatty. I went to the in Internet Movie DataBase. Breathless Mahoney. Made in 1990. Blessed Babs; has it been 20 years?
And it almost slipped my notice. Parentheses.
I had to scroll back up to see who authored that section. Thou. LoveRobin. I had to go back to my last dA submission. A Heroine’s Legacy; Her Servant, part I. *Somebody* left me a comment.
‘quote’
“My only complaint would be the use of (parentheses), both in Narrative and Dialogue. Generally speaking, use of parentheses in fiction is a lazy man's tool. In narration it only takes a couple extra words to tell the info while dropping the marks, and in Dialogue no one speaks in parentheses. At best they will say 'quote' - 'close quote', or speak in conjunction with narrative use of 'air quotes', but never parentheses.”
‘close quote’
Don’tcha find it irritating when somebody gets all smug? And conversely, don’tcha love the opportunity to cop an attitude? A good-natured jibe?
First of all, Yaay...Kasy and Sheki! Love the twins. :D
Nice adaptation of the Disney movie. I suspect we all know who the genie will be, booyah!
The twins seem to recognize mom and mommy as the main characters in this bedtime story; it would've been cool to have given the twins a cameo as the hungry street urchins.
Tara-Jah (hmm, Ta-Rajah?) is good casting. Will she be Jas-Go's voice of conscience as well as source of comfort?
Monty as the Vizier, his aims are similar to those of the movie vizier; they both were after some artifact to grant them the absolute power they craved. I think it works better than Drakken as the vizier.
Segment 7) Props on Monty's rant. Can't have an epic Disney story without the singing. :) I was actually expecting Bonnie to be cast as Iago, however after reading this, the monkey-ninja 'Chippy' came to mind.
Segment 8) Shego's classic cranky smartmouthness (is that a word?) in action. :)
Segment 9) Nice little detail of the shifting winds around Kim-Addin, I got the impression of Monty's seeking spell at work.
Segments 11,12&13) The bathroom break, cute. Each hand-off deftly picked up by next author.
At this point in the movie, when Aladdin is trapped, he already knew who Jasmine was. Here, Kim-Addin hasn't recognized Jas-go as the princess. Will she be told by the genie of the tacky lamp?
The KP world should be in the process of rebuilding after the invasion, the "Jericho" style setting ought to be canon for fics that are set after grad. Considering how long it takes to build 'new' infrastructure, clearing wreckage first before rebuilding adds even more time. One could see KP and her friends in their mid-thirties before their world resembles the pre-invasion times. This could give KP fics a whole new feel.
Kim and Ron are obviously still good friends, but it being less than a year since grad it isn't clear to me whether Kim and Ron are still a couple or not in this fic. Clarification please.
Good plausible introduction based on what few, broad references were given in the show. I got a good feel for the setting.
Interesting to note Kim's reputation has diminished outside Middleton (Tri-Ton instead of Tri-City, is that intentional?), probably since she hasn't been able to execute any high-profils heroics. Even having saved the world from the Lowardians seems to have been forgotten by the common folk who are naturally pre-occupied with survival at any rate.
Kim's sheltered naivete is certainly taking several hits. She certainly didn't realize the significance of her schoolyard style bravado, that the bitches were her's and that she was Middletons new crime boss. Beating the bad guy back in the day then leaving things for the authorities afterward is so typically adolescent. Like the teen at home who prepares a snack then takes off to eat leaving the fixings for mom to clean up afterward. Fortunately, Kim has her mom and her new 'beta' to educate her.
Nice sex scene between Anne and Janette, I'm surprised it didn't get dinged. Anyway, Anne is obviously lonely and very much sex starved with James gone. Very interesting reference to red hair; is there an incest angle developing, or was that merely a passing fantasy. I'm sure Janette wouldn't mine accommodating Anne in that. Will Janette become Annes 'mistress' for the time being?
I believe Sarah seems to interpret Kim's reluctance to have sex with her as being faithful to the apparent girlfriend whose picture is taped to the bed's headboard. Is the photo of Shego merely a familiar link to the past, a souvenir if you will? Is there a friendship or at least a comaradery which developed during the invasion, or is it because they are now lovers? If Kim and Ron aren't a couple, nor Kim and Shego perhaps Kim will take Sarah as her own personal bitch, that is if she really takes on the pimp persona.
Interesting to note how Kim has to learn how to be a boss. She's always been one to take charge but she's never been in command.
The whole St. Kimberly concept is cool, I like her outfit especially the hat. I can't wait to see Monique's fashion creation. Bruno? The Ron Factor strikes again. I enjoyed the comparison of the pimp and his two goons to Team Impossible, very apropos.
I like seeing Yori on board, Kim will need the extra muscle and brains and Monique will probably provide intel from local gossip The other gangs will certainly hit back hard. St. Kimberly's will certainly be the centre of a turf war
I noticed how Kim referred to the money. I also noticed that Kim is referred to as St. KImberly when she was in pimp mode and considering how she apparently felt after taking care of Michelle, I wonder who'll we'll see more of, Kim or St. Kim.
I really hope there's an update.
dr-fanmai-lover 11/1/09 . chapter 2
bervo aww we-got-reiped-of the-kimlddin-story-waes-cut-off-befor-saw-who-jeannie-is i hop-the-jeannie-wood-be-booine
This is a great idea! St Kimberly's House That's Not a Home. I'm surprised that the sex scene didn't send the story on a one-way trip to AdultFanFictiondotNet but maybe the mods are loosening up here. Hope that a lot of people participate.
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