at one tiny moment he thought all was lost--

but he couldn't allow chou to kill the child.

one shouldn't have to put conditions on his vow, but there should be some exceptions-- but he's so wrapped up in absolutes.

♥

I like the angsty-ness of this piece and the only thing that I think keeps it from being quite up to your usual standard is just a couple words. You used "drew" twice in one sentence and that's repetitive and cumbersome. "Came" might have worked better the second time around. The last sentence also gave me trouble. I had to roll it around a bit to make it make sense. It might work better as "...if he'd truly been lost to the blood..." because I think that really gets at what you mean. It is something that would never occur to Kenshin because he is way too hard on himself. You have captured that in his thoughts about being a mad dog and needing to be put down. That is so perfectly in character. Thanks for this.

Pen

So the last line is basically that if he was truly "lost to the blood" then he wouldn't actually being risking anything...because to him, it wouldn't have meaning anymore? Or that if he was really mad, then he wouldn't have cared enough to save the kid? Hm...I'm a bit confused. But I love the emotion and general angsty-ness of it.

Thanks for sharing!

You posted! I'm a happy camper. Just wish it had been longer. How like Kenshin to think of himself as a mad dog simply for doing the right thing. A kid's life takes precedence over a vow any day of the week.

Love the passion of the moment, but the last line throws me. I've read it several times, but I'm still not sure I understand it. If he'd truly been at risk of returning to the killer's way, he wouldn't have been going about saving kids to start with, is what it means, no? I can mostly see that since the scene is very much about him feeling forced into the past despite the growing he'd done over the 10 years, but it's hard to sum it up in 24 (I think) words. The other approx 76 words work for me.

Oh wow! An update! =D Wonderful job!

Ari chan