|Reviews for Valentines|
| Iaculus 12/31/09 . chapter 1
Nice - grasps the feel of the world very well, and the messy, dysfunctional relationship of Thaddeus and Pandora definitely works. Spelling and grammar’s clean, too – again, a rare feat. Just a couple of things here, really.
First off, you might want to change the break to a sprain, or something even more minor than that. Otherwise, way too incapacitating. Broken arms HURT, and no matter how proud you are, odds are you’re going to be doubled over screaming for the near future.
Second, it may help to see a bit more of the dashing swashbuckler-persona Thaddeus adopts, especially when he’s interacting with everyone who isn’t Pandora. Not to make him nicer – in fact, a suave, charming wife-beater is far creepier than the unsophisticatedly brutish kind, at least in my opinion – but to further emphasise that it’s Pandora’s presence that turns him into a barely-restrained thug. Tightens the focus of the story a bit, I think.
Finally, I can’t say that I found the crossover bit really added much. If you wished, you could quite easily cut it out, and leave the rest of the Engineerium stuff. Your call, though.
Again, don’t get me wrong – I liked the story. Just a couple of minor niggles.
| StuffRocksInnit 10/5/09 . chapter 1
This was good, with great grammar, but I felt that Valentine's characterization was a little wrong. He seemed far too violent, spiteful and angry for how he appears in the books. However, Pandora is great, really how I imagined her.
I know you said the end was a crossover with FF7, but to me it almost sounded like a crossover with The Matrix. Virtual world? Fake people to interact with etc.? Matrix through and through. Which is not criticism. It was great, really loving the evilness in Twix disguised as it is. She's a great character. Big up Mr. Reeve.
And you too of course, because this is a good piece. Nice job.