Looking forward to the next chapter...I just really like your use of words and your style in general, which is SO much different than most other ff writers that I have read.

Well, as always I enjoyed this piece. I have nothing negative to say about it. You're one of the few authors that I look for new pieces from. Not sure what all the complaints (from other reviewers, that you mention in the next chapter) were about- the angsty stuff is still interesting to me; I think that even if in the future Tony and Ziva do get together they will both have plenty of baggage to rehash...

firstly i do not think your AN was unreasonable, i would hate to get any bad reviews and i hope your "personal reasons" are getting better.
Also; i really liked all three of your last stories (i was just trying to catch up on all my e-mails again so read them all just now) and i think that '14' was good, sure it was not fabulously amazing, but we cannot be perfect always. It was definitely ranked a good nearly a very good though (: I did not really understand the bank part of the third part of that, although the fact that tony cannot imagine Ziva with a family is really cute and also so true. I think the worst part is that she wants one, but her father mutilated her too much to allow her her own life and family.
'15' was really good too, although i found it a bit too abstract and dreamy, even for my taste. However i can see what you mean about allowing us to see her feelings better. Tony was really good in that one actually too.
'13' was amazing in every single way. It was so short and simple and so easy to understand that it took no effort to read at all and yet there were other meanings that could be seen and i loved it so so so much. And i am sorry but i know nothing about what is going to happen in this series whatsoever and i completely agree that it is so annoying living in england because we never find out ANYTHING, and everything is shown here way later than it america.
so i am very sorry for rambling on, but i do love your stories, they make me happy in a sad kind of way.
so thank you, and good luck for interview with Cambridge/i hope it went well if you have already had it.

A waste of time reading it.

Wow. Not sure why you have got any negative feedback for this, because I think it is actually one of my favorite chapters!

Favorite lines - and there are a lot to choose from :)

"He does not know what to say, and so he doesn’t say anything, and maybe one day he’ll regret that."

"So he flies to a ship and there are photographs, yes, there are memories, yes, there are empty pulsing nights where he can’t think of anything but her skin and her steady breathing, but he is certain he’ll move on. He’s certain, not that she is replaceable, but that he is, that he will be able to shed his skin – painful, yes, callous, yes, the coward’s way out yesyesyes – but he can shed it and leave it behind and he can become the man he used to be. Hope is sweet and easy to release, and that is a tragedy." - Repetition of the word "yes" was very effective.

"her mannerisms when nervous (accent thicker, words hesitant, fingers playing with anything they could find)"

"how she drove (like she wanted to die)" - For some reason, really like this line a lot a lot

"He misses her more than he ever missed himself." - Really sad, but love it.

"Ziva with a wedding ring, Ziva with a baby on her hip, Ziva with a white picket fence, Ziva with a home.
It. Just. Did. Not. Fit."

"So that evening, as they got drunk in a bar with music in their ears and he called her Miss over and over, he couldn’t feign surprise at the growing hurt in her eyes and on her skin and tongue and lips, and his cruel, cruel words (laden and weighted with tequila) – Ever think you’ll get married, Ziva? And her reply, I doubt it, and then his, the worst reply of all, Me too. And she recoiled as if slapped, and couldn’t meet his eyes for days, and there are so many little ways to punish yourself." - Thought this was really clever; I would never have thought of this for the word miss.

"She puts a gun to his chest and he knows she will not miss but she will miss him (maybe, possibly, one day in the future when everything is quiet and she is quite alone), and that’s all he has to live for." - Brilliant ending!


It may end on a darker note than some of your other stuff, but you definately made up for it with your beautiful writing, and I really, really, really liked the whole thing.

As always, your word choice is simply fantastic and has excellent fluency. I personally can't find anything wrong with this chapter, it made perfect sense to me, and was very eloquently, and passionately written.

P.S. As long as I review I swear you will never read me stating "OMG!11! THIS WUZ SO KEWL!1!!11 UPDATE PLZ!1!!1!"

Ha ha. :)

On last chapter: I FRICKING LOVED IT.
Let the naysayers nay-say, but that was an amazing piece. Particularly this line: "He misses her more than he ever missed himself." Love it!

On this chapter: I FRICKING LOVED IT.
Even with all it's unresolved-ness, this is awesome =) I love that last line, so very much. Amazing.

Love it! Very sweet. Great ending! I love the fact that what happens when their eyes meet is implied, but never explicitly said. Restraint is a powerful thing.

In response to your complaint—which I can understand, although I did try to be encouraging—I would just say that your last chapter felt a little disjointed and it was too bitter for me. But it really wasn't bad.

So it is totally 2am my time and I should be asleep but I found this and read all fifteen parts and ugh, this is really lovely. All of it. I saw in this author's note that you said you hadn't gotten as positive a response to "Miss" as to others but I have to say I loved Miss. It was probably my favorite and I loved all the different variations to the word Miss. And I don't know why, but the last line? About the gun? It blew me away and really, it's a lasting impression. :)

I love your writing style. It's so easy to read and just enjoyable. I can tell you put a lot of thought into what you've written (or at least it *seems* that way) but at the same time it comes across as being effortless which really shows talent. Wonderful job and I hope to read more in the somewhat near future.

i always love the insights you bring to both tony and zivas characters, be they sad or happy thoughts.

is this chpater purely your creation or is it based off an episode i can go squeal over? lol, i havn't seen all the ncis episodes, so i thought i'd ask just in case. great job

Ele

i know you said that the reviews for this one were generally negative,but i actually liked it quite alot. particularly thedescription of tony as a little boy,which is spot on. i also really love that his response to her 'i doubt it' is punishment for the both of them. don't be discouraged! your writing is consistently beautiful. it is poetic, but with a story,and it captures the characters perfectly. keep writing and pay no attention to negative people.

Good chapter. Very nice

People are weird, and I'll expand upon that further elsewhere :) I personally loved the previous chapter, as I did this one.

My favorite line (among many) was probably "Don’t meet her eyes in the mirror, because then you’ll be ruined, and you know it (so does she, or you hope she does, and you’re not sure if that’s true)." It so perfectly captures the essence of sexual tension, where two people are so physically close to each other for whatever reason, and need to, almost literally, restrain themselves from reaching out and touching the other. Very well done :)

Beautiful writing!

I want to know how a person could not like your writing. Really. They have to be insane and clueless. Pfft. Sorry about your bad reviews, that really sucks and you don't deserve it.

However, I liked this chapter a lot. Reminiscent of Recoil, in a way, Tony watching from afar, unable to do anything, not always by choice. Sad. But this was really good nonetheless.

Favorite lines:

"He could taste the fear as her fragile skull smacked, with that sickening thud, against the plaster, and she fell silent, and she was still." I think it scares him every time he's reminded how human she is.

"He almost walked right over there, right over to her, and put his palms on the golden flesh and moved them in slow circles and kissed her neck and soothed her raging blood with words and fingertips, and made her feel safe." Oh honey, go be her knight in standard issue armor, just go!

"He almost spoke with a smirk in his voice. His heart almost broke with the courage of her modesty."

"She did not return to him." You make the simplest of actions a thing of beauty.

"Her fierce eyes met his soft ones, and he held them with grace. She almost stopped trembling, because she was close to him and he was warm and had a steady gaze that she knew to be certain and continuous. Finally, words." My favorite line from this chapter. So so good.

"Don’t meet her eyes in the mirror, because then you’ll be ruined, and you know it (so does she, or you hope she does, and you’re not sure if that’s true)."

"In the mirror, their eyes meet." Ah, awesome ending.

Yeah, it was probably much more powerful just ending it there, a little mysterious, a little who (it's supposed to sound like wind...).

Wow. Dang. You are amazing.