Ah that was excellent! I went from nervous to freaked to laughing during that story :)

I particularly liked the eye appearing in the dark - that was particularly shocking imagery and certainly made me jump.

haha lol :) thats something to tell the kids ...

"yep ive been in space, ive been a thunderbird , ive been beaten up by a mannequin , ive been a race car driver..."

brilliant :

:)

:)

:)

*snort*

AHaha. That was awesome! You really had me going - for a bit I really thought something had invaded 5. Or John had brought up a dog .

Love the ending! And I heartily agree with Alan's revenge. Creepy doll... *shudder*

Fantastic! Very well done

This was a truly brilliant piece. The suspense and the thrilling idea of an unknown intruder aboard the dark station was perfectly intermingled with the light humour (I couldn't help but smile at Alan's reaction when he realised what it was). Fantastic.

What really made it all the more exciting was the link to the Mysterons. I love universes where another of Anderson's series is referred to, even if it's only the subtlest of hints. It just pulls me in even deeper.

And you portrayed the family dynamics wonderfully. Scott and Jeff, radiating concern at first and then relief once Alan told them all was well. And I'm an old softy at heart, so that brotherly hug between eldest and youngest Tracy sons (and the suggestion that Scott had thrown caution to the wind and skipped the normal docking procedures in his haste to board the station) was just the icing on the cake for me.

But alas, Veronika is no more. I can understand why Alan chose to dispose of her - he'd been made to look like a fool in front of his family AND it had scared him half to death - but I can also sympathise with John's situation. He'd put a lot of work into her design. And it can get mighty lonely up there on that space station.

I get the impression that whatever plan of revenge John is going to plot against his brother, it won't be pretty. Any chance of discovering what that might be? In another story, perhaps?

Again, great work. I take my hat off to you. Thanks for sharing!

xox

Oh that was a giggle! Well, you can't really be surprised what the boys get up to, but Brains! Thanks for giving me a laugh today. Good story, nicely written.

Awesome story!

And if you're familiar with the Captain Scarlet mythos, John and Brain's lines at the end are chilling on a whole new level.

Very funny story! Great job, I went from fear to laughing very quickly. Write more!

Lauren

OMG - this has to be one of the most original stories I have ever read. I hope you won the challenge because this is definitely a winner.

It had everything.

Drama - something's wrong on the station.

Chilling - Alan isn't alone on the station.

Worry - my personal favorite is the worried big brothers and father as they have no idea what has happened. Amplified of course, for me anyways, 'cause the person they are worried about is Alan and he's my favorite 'victim.'

Humor - when we find out what exactly is on the station with Alan

Conspiracy - Alan planning his revenge :P

Brother moment - Scott when he sees Alan is okay

Resolution/open ending - Brains and John realized what was up and plot revenge.

Yup, I totally adored this story. Thank you for sharing!

This is honestly a great story - and was, in fact, my favourite of all the 'Kiss a Brother' stories.

You built the suspense in a masterly fashion, first with the malfunction and then with Alan's fright in the dark. The description was excellent and I particularly like the image of Scott drifting in at the centre of a cloud of cigar smoke, and the 'subtle toe-jab' as a first-line maintenance/repair option. You came straight in with the revelation of the problem and built from there to the crescendo of Alan's unexpected 'kiss'.

I wasn't entirely convinced that John would remain silent all things considered. Even a warning to Alan before opening the door that he had some loose 'equipment' stored might have helped the situation from getting out of control. On the other hand, I guess embarrassment can be a powerful motivation, and I imagine John was convincing himself that his toy couldn't have been enough to give Alan such a fright and cause the radio silence.

It seemed very in keeping with Scott's role as eldest brother that he'd be the one to notice John's reactions - and to be a little over-enthusiastic in the urgency of his docking with Thunderbird Five.

I have to single out the lone scene from Virgil's viewpoint though. I think you perfectly captured the sense of frustration and anxiety on the Island. They're not talking to one another, not doing much, because there's really nothing they can do. Scott, John and Brains can launch Thunderbird Three. Everyone else simply has to wait and try not to go out of their minds in the meantime.

And after all that terrifying build-up, the relief and the humour you built into it was pitched just right. Alan's attempts to wake his attacker up were very amusing indeed, as were the final few lines with John and Brains of one accord.

Destructive as Alan's response was, I guess you can't really blame him!

Overall, I very much enjoyed this story - thank you for writing and sharing it!

I loved this one!

Alan tiptoeing round TB5 in the dark, and his reaction when the 'thing' jumped out at him, would have made this a good candidate for a Halloween story.

And John? well, who'd have thought it? I guess in must get lonely up on Five at nights - and it's not as if he's got something to come back to when he gets home, like his younger brother.

I just hope you've got a sequel planned. I want to know how John & Brains get their just revenge...

I'm waiting...

Hilarious...brilliant... well written... awesome.

One of the most innovative stories written for ages.

I salute you my friend.

Yours in writing

mcj