Wow! First of all, let me aplaud you for re-writing this story from the ground-up and making it truly impressive. I know I definately like this version the best so far! You wrote it beautifully, and everything flows in a highly suspenceful manner that more than easily kept a horror fan like me engrossed.

The writing was particularly pleasing to read: *everything* is exceptionally vivid, ranging from setting descriptions to Red's emotions. Particularly, I loved the colors (then again, I love color symbolism, too): oranges, browns, blacks, and (of course) reds. These are very fitting colors for a story of this genre. They're also perfect for establishing a sense of time, taking place in October (a month highly associated with the same colors). You really have a talent for painting gorgeous images in reader's minds. I've got a bunch of favorite quotes from this story, but to summarize, two of my favorites were these:

"The edge of the woods was bathed in beautiful orange, part of the sun creeping on show but soon it would be out fully, engulfing the world in darkness; leaving the people to depend upon themselves for a source of light." - and - "The outside of the house was surrounded by the twisted trees, their branches holding onto each other and looking like frail bones in the dark light." - These really established a beautifully chilling ambiance.

Minor note: I like how this story takes place in Miltia. I don't recall the original version taking place there (and if it did, I apologise for missing that detail). Even though Grandmother's house is in the forest/outskirts of Miltia, having this place in a Miltian setting does make it fit better into the Xenosaga series.

Red's character seems a bit toned-down from the first version of this story, who seemed to have morbid fixations with "meat." Of course, since this is just Ch.1, it's much too soon to guess what kind of a person Red will eventually become. However, this chapter definately offered some great characterization. Red's awfully loyal to her dear grandmother, and there also seems to be a mysterious "conflict" (for lack of a better word) regarding her mother distancing herself from her family. We get a feel for how close Red and her grandmother are, and I found it good character development for Red. (BTW: I'm sure you're curious, so I'll let you know that I do prefer her name being solely "Red Rose" this time. I liked the little backstory/reasons you gave for her name, too, regarding her hair. Something's telling me there'll be "other" reasons for Red's name being "red" later on in this horror story...hehe...that could just be my sick blood-obsessed imagination running wild again, though).

Speaking of red...ah, my dear Rubedo debuted in this beautiful little re-write! ^.^ You know that always me happy. But in all seriousness, I liked his role in this chapter: a child-like messenger/foreshadower of sorts, warning Red.

The werewolf scene was explicitly entertaining from start to finish: well-written and suspenseful. Again, the sense of isolation always works beautifully for scenes such as this: "Who would hear her? No one probably, she was so far away from people, from places and from safety so screaming became the least of her problems." And the werewolf's descriptions were superbly vivid: "No, dog was too small; these were defiantly wolf teeth, large, large wolf teeth perfect for ripping and tearing apart skin; chewing muscle." - This sentense particularly tells us not just the creature's description, but how deadly it is.

Well, you've definately made a horror buff like me happy again! But good heavens, if I were Red, there's no way in hell I'd stay in that house overnight (*she's so brave*)! But a storm is now approaching...that's never a good sign, is it? Hehe, terrific horror goodness/foreshadowing! Seriously, excellent job with this re-written chapter! You can be sure I'll be looking forward to this story's continuation! ^_^