Great story! I like that.

I like you're explanation about why she left.

I really would have liked to learn more about Brin too.

Very cool. I like the part of Alec eating chocolate!

Aww! Poor Biggs! Wow! So few words...so much impact!

I loved this positive take on family. Of course, there's a hidden, clinical meaning behind why they look alike, but I like the idea that no matter what, they all look after each other, whether they look alike or not, that the basis of their relationship is family. Awesome!

Fav. Parts:

“What do they do?”

“They take care of each other.”

“We take care of each other, but we don’t all look alike,” Zack pointed out. “Are we still brothers and sisters?”

“I think we are,” Max said.

-WONDERFUL!

Good job. Carry on.

Definitely interested in more!

Good job on this one. And all of these!

Kat

This is great!

This was WONDERFUL! I LOVED the feeling you project here. It's very poetic. It had rhythm like the ocean. I felt her emotions about freedom through her thoughts and I could feel freedom on the waves. Awesome job!

Fave. Parts:

Freedom was watching the sun set, her mate’s arms wrapped around her as they lay on the beach, far away from the ones who had hunted them.

- especially LOVED this!

Great snapshot of Asha. I felt for her on the show. She was helpful and nice and yet everyone seemed to be hovering over Max and dismissing her and contributions. I can't blame her for leaving. This was sad and yet, I can't help thinking that maybe it's the for the best, fresh start.

Fave. Parts:

Asha thought about Logan. About Alec.

She was tired of waiting to be noticed. Tired of being invisible.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

-says it all in a nutshell

Great!

Loved this one. Beautiful how she thinks about something she had never felt before.

Oh! That was beautiful! So lyrical.

Excellent job with this one.

Kat

You did a good job, even if you've never written from Asha's POV. Asha is an interesting character. I would have liked to have known more about her.

Going to read your next one before work!

Kat

Well done! Keep up the good work.