Where to start?

1. This is not West Side Story. They do have a section for miscellaneous fandoms, and I strongly suggest that you move this story there - it has been two years

2. This is really hard to read. You have all the sentences running together, you've never started a new paragrpah even tough the first 5 lines or so have about three different scenes.

3. Your writing is very stilted, I recognized this right away because I used to write this way too.

4. You have some very insignificant actions detailed. For example: "Then I read it." That really didn't need to be elaborated unless it had some exciting and unique details. (examples include, but are not limited to: I read it with great excitement/I read it slowly, not believing the words/etc)

5. You don't exactly have the best grammar, your 'tense' tends to jump around a bit.

6. Don't start a sentence with the word 'and', and certainly not consecutive sentences. Not unless you're making a point, and it's usually used in humour or parody: They stood in fear. And horror. And terror.

7. The story was basically an elongated list of the nararator's friends and what they were doing. In otherwise, rather dull.

8. I doubt that this can be considered a story as it has no plot, no conflict and you barely have more than an idea.

9. Is English your first language? If not, ask a friend or beta-reader (you can find them on this site) to look over your work, just like you would do when writing an essay for class.

10. I don't mean for you to stop writing, just think it through a little more next time. Good Luck.

this is not west side story. awful.

Wonderful!

Umm... where exactly is the link to West Side Story here?

how is this west side story?