|Reviews for Mork and Mindy the drama|
| Medievil 6/3/10 . chapter 2
as you go along you should have Exidor return to his vigilante day's and help mork catch the man who did it and have mork do some orkan form of punishment
| Tango Mike Charlie 5/5/10 . chapter 2
This is better :) Keep it up! You're doing fine :) (And I want to know what happens next ;-))
| Tango Mike Charlie 12/14/09 . chapter 1
I just read your story. It has potential, but I think it needs a re-write. The idea of Mindy getting hurt and Mork being unable to prevent it is good, but you have to decide what you want the outcome to be. Will Mindy die? Will she live? How will Mork react in either case? How will he try to help her? Will he feel guilty for not having prevented it in the first place? Will he try to go back in time maybe?
Then, try and ease more into the story. You write very abruptly. Things happen out of the blue, without any warning. I understand that was important when Mindy got shot, because it needed to be unexpected, but you can use your words to ease into it. Make it exciting to read. You can announce something is about to happen, then write 3 pages on it and only THEN have Mork & Mindy notice what is going on. the reader can be aware of things that the characters are not aware of (yet). Try using more adjectives. It helps in setting the scene and atmosphere.
Once you're decided on those important points, you can go back and re-write it to fit your story. It's always best if you know where your story is going before you start writing.
I love that you're at least trying to write Mork&Mindy fanfiction :) Please try and finish it! :) (And please don't think I'm just criticizing. I'm trying to help)