You want the truth?

It's terrible. I got lost after the first line.

PUNCTACTION - If that's how you spell it ''/

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but to be a good writier, you need to read your writing through. Check you pause for a breath every now and then. If you carry on writing, good luck.

write more

please write more dude please please please write more its really great oh and each time someone else talk you start anew paragraph

I like your story! It is pretty good! I hope you write more! Check out my flirt series stories: rOOFTOP AND brittany b brogan- attorney at law!