Good, the medical stuff felt really realistic to me. Jayne's reflections on how Mal holds them all together were good, even Jayne secretly has feelings. So we know he'll live, I guess how he'll live is the question now, looking forward to more. My only little thing I noticed is that there were a lot of run-on sentences here but I probably would have done much worse on layovers so it is fine. I feel like there is more I want to say but I'll wait until next time, when things make more sense to me (not in the story, that makes sense now, but in life)
Riona

I'm really liking the way yu're picturig nara during all of this, good thing she was there when Mal woke up.

Really good chapter, I enjoyed Simon's introspections on the family of Serenity and Book's segment, wonderful stuff. I also liked the phrase "strictly-business mask", very much what Mal and Inara wear around each other, when they're not fighting that is. This has got to be hard for River, I'm glad she has Simon to look after her, because I doubt that few other people in the verse would have the stamina to work on saving Mal and look after River too and try to make her comfortable, hopefully she will feel more content when Mal improves. You did a good job writing everyone this time around. The stuff on the bullets, is that real? Its a good idea and explains a lot.
Riona

I get the feeling that even with the antidote things are far from over.

I like how you gave us snippets of what some of the charactors were thinking, the most well written ones were those of Jayne and Inara. When reading Simon's experience of the whole thing I was struck by the fact that being a surgeon is really amazing, having that gift to help save others in precarious situations and the tremendous responsability and privilidge of having those gifts and skills. I can't help but wonder where River is during all this: Did Simon give her something so she'd go to sleep during this stressful time? Is she just not lucid right now and so doesn't realize fully what's going on? Just wondering. You also wrote the doubt of Jayne and Kaylee well: the captain must pull through because he's the captain and he always does, ... but what if ...
I saw a couple of verbs that were in a different tense than the rest, just letting you know. Most of it was in past tense but you had a couple of little time where you said things like "he hears ..." instead of "he heard ..." I do like present tense and past tense stories but just pointing out the little inconsistancies there. While reading I found myself wondering if Mal would pull through, just like everyone else was.
Riona

This was some shiny writing, I really liked how you described the crew in a moment like this. Kinda reminds me of Out of Gas...

Aw, sad. But very nice. Yay for pulling through. :)