You manage to talk in the past and present tense at the same time, and it ends up sounding pretty funky. In a bad way.
Hopefully you did it on purpose to try and sound cool, and it's not the way you actually write (or you need to go back to elementary school, doll).

Oh, and please pay attention to commas. They were added to the language system for a reason.

Other than that, it was kinda good. I got what you were trying to convey, you could just do it a lot better.

Very, very well done!

After watching the 2nd episode of the new season, I felt like I needed to read a Hei/Yin fic that was centered in that timeline. And lo, I found this little gem. Great stuff. :)

THAT was REALLY deep...I liked it and I think Imma gonna finish off Season Two of Darker Than Black as soon as possible after my exams finish this Wednesday!XP XD XD XD XD ^ **

I really think this is how Hei feels.

He still feels the same in episodes 3 and 4 so that hasn't changed.

Thank you so much for writing this!