I have to say, Deekin and Valen made me laugh out loud. It's the little touches like this that make a story really memorable...

So, the kids finally gave in. I'm such a sucker for moments of requited love. :)

I also loved how Neeshka picked up on exactly what their friends were up to when they finally came back down, while poor Marcus was still taken aback... ;)

Ah, the trial by combat...never my favorite bit, but nicely done here! Neeshka certainly got a bit anxious, didn't she? ;)

Poor Neesh. She is so uncomfortable with all this emotional upheaval. It's hard enough for her to wrap her tail around loving Marcus, and now she has to worry about losing him. Between that and her arcane abilities surfacing, it's enough to make any tiefling a basket case!

Well done! :)

Lord Nasher gets testy, and two tieflings meet. What more could a body ask? :D

I think what drove me nuts the first time I played was the whole "You're innocent, but you still have to kick this really huge guy's butt first" thing. It's going to be interesting to see how Neeshka and Marcus cope with this challenge...

Valen amused me greatly in this chapter, but then again, I always find Valen amusing... bad me! ;)

I still say Marcus had better watch the "girl" cracks around Neeshka, or he might find himself on the end of a feminine fist. ;)

I have never actually gotten the dress dialog in game, but it sounds hysterical. Somehow, I could see Sand poking Torio's fashion sense. Elves take that sort of thing seriously... ;)

Heh. Tempers flaring everywhere, and a bad day was had by all, I see... It seems Sand, Elanee and Casavir will have their work cut out for them babysitting this lot...

And now, off to the trial! ;)

Well, Sand is certainly having fun being out of the shop, isn't he? Busy elf in this chapter.

I really liked the way Casavir and Serena are connecting, and how she felt comfortable enough with him to confide in him about her bloodline.

The stress on Marcus is definitely showing, and it's not going to get any easier even with the evidence gathered. Hopefully, he will calm down a bit before the actual trial, and can keep Neeshka from losing her temper too badly as well.

Well done!

The switching of viewpoints between Marcus and Serena worked well in this chapter, and gave it an urgency that is often missing. I also really enjoyed how you brought Serena's past in Amn to the forefront, and how Calindra recognizes her by name.

The strain is showing as far as Neeshka is concerned, and her worry for Marcus is evident. I enjoyed Serena mistakenly calling her 'Imoen' as well--nice touch since they are quite a lot alike.

Well done! :)

I think my favorite part of this is how you show that everyone involved knows that this is something of a charade, that Marcus is a pawn in the ongoing power struggles between Luskan and Neverwinter, despite Garius's interests also adding to the tension.

Let's hope Neesh and Shandra have reached a truce... ;)

Nicely done! :)

I had wondered if Shandra was jealous of Neeshka too. I was expecting a cat fight, but it looks like they're working it out.

ah, act 2 of the OC and the Trail. One of my favorite parts of the game, I enjoy how you write Neeshka and Marcus. (are you still helping to write dialog for that Romance Mod of the OC?) at any rate, cant wait to see how this expands and develops.

Sand has his hands full, doesn't he? Between training Neesh and babysitting Shandra, the poor elf will need a break, which he isn't going to get until after the trial.

I do like seeing Axle keeping his hand in things. He's too good a businessman not to, and Edmund was a nice touch as well.

Poor Marcus hasn't a clue, has he? Things are about to get very, very complicated for the harbourman.

Well done! :D

Love the chapter, Sand is one of my favorite chracters so it's cool to see more interaction with him.

Yay! Book 2!

I'm glad you restored the missing cut scene with Sand and Nevalle. It makes more sense and explains Sand's reactions better, and besides, it's more elf time for me... ;)

I really liked having Darmon tell Marcus about the charges, and I also liked having Ophala show up as well. She was always more than just the proprietor of the Mask, and it's good to see her get that notice!

A great begininng! :D