so sad.. :( but expertly written and executed! good characterization too and very sweet!

I really enjoyed reading this, you captured their characters perfectly, and it wasn't at all unbelievable. Sweet and sad all at the same time, lovely.

Hm... I still don't like Lily. ^_^

I kind of like the fact that Snape seems to be in denial about the role he played in losing her. He wants to blame it all on Potter and not look at the fact that she can't be with a DE.

I'm just not sure that I felt his pain. There seemed to be a missing element that would make me go, 'Aww, poor Severus.'

Maybe it was due to the fact that I couldn't feel sorry for someone who made their own decision that took them down their dark path.

Anyway, I could see this scenario happening and even Severus declaring his love didn't seem OOC for him. In fact, it makes sense in showing how he got to the emotionally unavailable place that he was in the books.

Poor Severus.

It was certainly bittersweet. I don't know if I really liked Lily in this at all. Her actions bothered me, not because she did anything particularly wrong, or because you wrote her poorly. It's just she was hurting Severus so much in her behaviour, and it just came off as so...careless. I don't think that is the word I'm looking for, but it's all I can sum it up as.

Snape is one of my favourite characters in the actual HP book, and I thought you did capture his more youthful self well in this. At this point he was still a man who had some hope, even if that eventually turned to bitterness, and it must be remembered that Lily was his childhood friend.

It is sad how he realises being with her was the life he could have had but can't, and yet you give that small semblance of light in saying that she will forever be his soul. Oh, side note: I love the fact that you don't say 'she will forever be 'in' his soul'. It's such a cliched and tedious line, but your modifying that to say that she will BE his soul makes all the difference and somehow adds a whole new level of power to the line.