I love it! Please keep writing and I lovee the small mentions of Fuko and Tomoya pairing! Very nice story and plot. Keep up the good work

lol ba-da-ba-ba-baaaa, I'm lovin' it. Fuko's chapter is the best, so far :P man, I' m just a sucker for her for some reason. it's the third person thing; so awkward that I find it funny. keep it goin, and ill keep readin

Interesting chapter. There were a few times she said "I", you spelled Kyou "kyou" near the end, and I spotted at least one "your" instead of "you're".

Other than that, I think you captured Fuko quite well. Especially the part where she was entirely shocked.

this is perfert!i wonder if this becomr a anime, i'll sure i'll wacth it

Well, well, about time. :P

I think you should work a little on your first-person narrative. It's a little too much just listing actions they did. Add some descriptions, vary the word order more, and just try to make it more like a stream of thought rather than someone reading a list of things they did.

Also, while it's more of a stylistic thing, you don't need to have any markers for thought with this perspective. Leaving them out can often make the text flow better.

well so far i'm liking where your taking this fic but i think you may need to expand a bit on each characters past instead of the simple remembering just by seeing them. This is just a suggestion and this is your fic but i feel it would add more depth to the fic that may attract more readers that really enjoy the series both the anime and the game which i have both. FYI my favorite character is TOMOYO and i really hoped for a extra episode for that path but instead kyou got the extra episode so thats how life goes. I hope to see an update soon.

It's the beginning of a decent fic. It seems to have a goal in mind, which is always nice among the tons of fics that will never be completed.

There are some errors, mainly with capitalisation (especially the third line in the first chapter, which is even before the fic starts) and ellipses. Some sentences aren't correct either, or just confusing, like the one mentioning all the people Tomoyo saw.

As long as you complete the fic, it doesn't matter which order you write the characters in. Do whatever is best for the overall fic.

Hey there, Guy. Just wanted to make a little notice for you:

"Hey Tomoya, it's me Kyou. I...I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, and..

Shouldn't that be Ryou?

Anyways, pretty nice and meaningful chapter. Very likable.

Oh my gosh plZ keep writing! This story gives so much hope compared the the after tomoyo story arc. I didn't play the game but I read the manga and I was like WHAT IS UP WITH KEY KILLING PPL! lol anyways thanks for a great story plz update soon!

It's great! I hate how the anime ruined Tomoyo's original Clannad arc. Keep going.

A very nice start Keep going!

You have my help and Kiiroi's at all times!

- xRan-Hime (Hime-koi)

A nice prologue.

I hope you write some more back story, because some people haven't had the chance to play Tomoyo After VN or even heard of her Manga.

So it would be nice for those people, I was one of the lucky ones to even play it.

For those you who are considering playing it,then try to get the copy of the re-release verison. The oringal verison was ruin with stupid unesary H-scenes.

Anyway back to the review...

Well its a great start, I look forward to this story.

Since Tomoyo is an great character, who is down played alot in the anime, and it nice to read a Tomoyo focus story.

: )

Well, this is a good start, Guy. Hope you'll be able to post as soon as humanly possible.

Remember, you've got my help! (And Hime-koi's, too)

- Kiiroi