 Ghostwriter 3/1/10 . chapter 1Hey, first off, let me say, this was well written and though I'm a diehard Tommy/Kimberly fan, I'm not opposed to Jason/Kimberly. There's just one paragraph that sounded a little off: "It was all going to plan. Jason had come to Florida to make Kimberly his. He knew it was working, too. She had been eating out of the palm of his hand for months, going on a year, and she didn't even know it yet. He knew she was in love with him. It was almost time to seal the deal." This makes it sound like Jsaon was deliberately tricking Kimberly into loving Kimberly, which I'm pretty sure wasn't your intention. Other than that, great fic. Catch ya on the flip side. |