|Reviews for Steambot Chronicles|
| Griselda Banks 3/12/13 . chapter 19
Nice to see you haven't given up! It was good to get some more background on Mallory and Chicory and all that, though I can sense there's still something bigger on the way. I have my theories, but we'll just have to wait and see ;) I liked how you brought Dudley together in this chapter - not just tying it up with his previous appearance, but also mentioning him early on in the chapter and then featuring him at the end.
It isn't immediately obvious why they're going to Eurydika. You should have some kind of explanation right away that they're trying to hide/recuperate there, or at least have Vanilla wonder or ask why they're going there, just to clarify it for everybody.
Typos I noticed:
"Not really, the entrees have been slim this year for some reason." - 'entries' Entrees are food XD
"I have something I've been meaning to discuss you." - 'discuss WITH you'
"then I fear your live is in far more danger" - life
"near by plaza." - 'near THE plaza'
"once they were on the path that lead to the forest." - led
"You would doing a project one day," - 'would BE doing'
"Its circumference nearly that of the Garland arena itself," - 'circumference WAS nearly'
"of which one they had just entered from." - 'one of which' sounds better
"it's structure almost like it was from a far off time period." - its
"But I guess do deserve it," - 'guess I do'
"Whose the wise guy?" - Who's
"He dash to the side," - dashED
| godofmadness43 3/3/13 . chapter 19
man, i wonder just what kind of person chicory was, i need to know more
| Guest 2/11/13 . chapter 2
This is great :) I'm 21 and I still love this game I have beaten it 18 times, I just can't seem to get enough of it. Thanks for the wonderful story.
| Earl Grey III 1/12/13 . chapter 18
Hate to say this, but please hurry with the new chapter! This is the only good SC fanfic out there!
| vastler75 11/18/12 . chapter 18
"A week had passed since Fennel's new band made their debut, and became a huge success"
i literally winched seeing this words, so is Fennel like the Justin Beiber of the Steambot-verse?...anyway, yeah not much happening but still can't wait the next Chapter
update soon, cause we know we're all crying inside the Steambot 2 was Canceled T_T
| Griselda Banks 10/13/12 . chapter 18
Typos I noticed:
"exhausted every possible lead he could come up." - 'come up WITH'
"nestling against a pile a of discarded cords" - take out the second 'a'
"he stopped as a racking cough overtook," - 'overtook HIM'
"the gentle glow of a small house opposite of the clearing" - The second 'of' is unnecessary.
"as best as he could to intimidating." - 'to LOOK intimidating.'
"The young trotmobile ride nodded," - 'rideR'
"on a breezy saturday afternoon," - capitalize 'saturday'
"However, there appeared to signs of restlessness" - 'appeared to BE signs'
"Garland Globetrotters perform right here our humble little village." - 'perform right here FOR our humble'
"Basil bashfully shrugging the compliments" - 'shrugging AWAY the compliments'
My guess is that Pablo's cough will have a greater importance later on? You seemed to be emphasizing that in that section of the chapter. I look forward to more excitement later on ;)
| obsessedanimefangirl 10/12/12 . chapter 18
If this chapter isn't you writing at your full mojo, then I really can't wait until you gain it back. This chapter was great and I can't wait till the next one.
| godofmadness43 10/12/12 . chapter 18
aww well that sure was a nice chapter, hope Gable gets a new house
| vastler75 8/14/12 . chapter 17
I'm surprise Vanilla didn't go deaf after that Concert
yeah i really hate that song too, makes my ears hurt
any chance Vanilla singing a song that's not in the Game? (Kanjite Knight Maybe...hey it's a Mecha game & that's a Hot Blooded Mecha Song) so the Electric Guitar won't go to waste with that one Awful song
Anywho, Update soon
| Griselda Banks 6/9/12 . chapter 17
Wow, two chapters right at once! _ But I guess it's been a while :D This mostly felt like typing up loose ends, but a couple things I thought I'd comment on: First of all, I'm assuming you're going to touch on Pablo's plagiarism more later? Just making sure, because Vanilla seems quite shocked by it and I think the readers would like some answers :D
Also, as someone who hasn't played the game, no, Fennel's song did NOT come across as that horrible. I think you should play it up some more, because the way you've described it right now makes it sound like he's not as good as Connie, but nothing to suggest that he's really that awful.
Here's some typos I noticed from Chapter 16:
"watched with wide eye wonder" - eyeD
"full of hole" - holeS
"though Marlow said there wouldn't be really safe" - Hmm, something like 'Marlow said that it wouldn't really be safe' sounds better.
"it's silvery form reflected in the water" - its
"It turn out that the lake ran northward" - turnED
"if we accept one big of modernization." - I'm not sure what, but I think you were intending a different word than "big". Or maybe "one big _ of modernization."
"the events that had led to it's damaged state." - its
"and he as he thought about it" - Take out the first 'he'.
And none from Chapter 17! *clapclap*
| godofmadness43 6/9/12 . chapter 17
wow, that was...interesting ;
| godofmadness43 6/9/12 . chapter 16
whoa, the cliffhanger was not what i was expecting
| Secret Weapon Unit 06 6/9/12 . chapter 17
Good chapter. A little bit short.
| Griselda Banks 1/28/12 . chapter 15
Okay, here's the typos I noticed while reading:
"the train nearing it's destination." - its
"and trotmobiles that rainbows." - Um...that makes no sense at all.
"a tipped bookshelf lied on the floor, it's contents the obstruction Vanilla had just overcame." - 'lay', 'its', and 'overcome'
"eventually coming across a frame" - 'frame', not 'framed'
"let Dr. Nutmeg know how much progressed I've made." - 'progress', not 'progressed'
"I didn't know you guys hung out him." - 'hung out WITH him'
"often telling us old cultures in books" - 'telling us ABOUT old cultures'
"I can see your still as busy as ever." - you're
"likely for loading and unloaded" - unloadING
"he caught sight a dime glow" - 'caught sight OF a DIM glow'
"wail began to rise in tempo, from nearly inaudible to a dull roar." - Um...tempo is speed. I think you mean 'volume'.
"as something else emerge" - emergeD
"the Earl Grey and it's riders." - its
"as they being used to paddle" - 'as they WERE being used'
"to keep it's sights on them." - its
"it's mechanism damaged and malfunctioning." - its
"causing to burst as well." - 'causing IT to burst'
"Vanilla couldn't less." - 'couldn't CARE less'
"But the victory wasn't without it's toll." - its
"and the loss of the right arm severely and broken left hampered paddling greatly. " - Awkward. I think what you're going for is more like 'and the loss of the right arm and broken left arm severely hampered paddling.' Or something like that.
The battle was kinda exciting :D And I'm getting more and more curious about the Red Mantis. And sometime Vanilla's connection to Mallow is going to have to come out, isn't it? I mean, I feel like Vanilla and Connie would have to have a long talk or something.
| vastler75 1/25/12 . chapter 15
& once again, a great job my friend, you certainly did not push a side the Side-quest which is Always a good thing for me
& great was of introducing the Bloody Mantis, you certainty get my Badass Seal of approval if i had one
Anywho, update soon