|Reviews for Through Muggleborn Eyes: Year Four|
| JJ Rust 1/12/11 . chapter 38
Nice wrap up. Obviously the bulk of this had to come from the book. Still, good job inserting Bryt's thoughts, especially when it came to her changing opinions regarding Krum and Fleur.
Now I really, really can't wait for the 5th installment. Umbridge, the DA, Luna, the Battle at the Ministry. I so can't wait to see how Bryt handles that.
Keep up the good work.
| Chellendora 1/11/11 . chapter 38
A good ending to the story. _ The only thing is, you have a good bit of redundancy, such as repeating here: "Bryt elbowed him hard in the side, shooting her boyfriend a glare. She knew he was just reacting to Delacour's veela charm, but it didn't change the fact that she still got annoyed over it—despite the countless times she told herself that Ron couldn't help himself," and with the thing about Bryt not catching Wormtail. For the first time in a story, reiterating what happened and her feelings about is necessary, but after that you don't have to describe it again. It cuts down on words, but you don't want words in exchange for content. That's the only thing though, the rest was very good! I'm looking forward to year five.
| JJ Rust 1/11/11 . chapter 37
Another awesome chapter! Excellent job in making things really, really tough for Bryt to write that letter to her parents. I also like the way you've brought out her guilt over not catching Wormtail these last two chapters, how she can't help Harry, and her fear of the consequences if she does tell him. You have definitely but Bryt's emotions through a meat grinder in these last two chapters. All her thoughts and feelings are believable and keeping in character.
One typo I caught: "Well, not it has" should be "Well, now it has."
Looking forward to the final chapter. Keep up the good work.
| JJ Rust 1/11/11 . chapter 36
Very good! Excellent job of getting into Bryt's head! Her reactions were very believable, especially the shock she felt, and how she felt she may shut down at any moment. Good job showing how she pushed through that shock to comfort her brothers.
We also see how much she is starting to depend on Ron. Right now wasn't the time for words (Besides, Ron's never good when it comes to talking about his feelings). Just holding on to one another during this time fit well with their characters. And you could really feel Bryt's anger toward Fudge and her worry for Harry, and her terror over Voldemort returning. Great job all around with Bryt in this chapter.
Two typos I spotted: "red sparks had the signal" should be "red sparks had been the signal"
"might be sick or pass out one" should be "might be sick or pass out."
Great job! Looking forward to the next chapter.
| Chellendora 1/10/11 . chapter 37
The past few chapters were hard to get through indeed, and it's only going to get rougher from here. You did a good job with describing the dark cloud that settled over everyone after that final task.
| JJ Rust 1/9/11 . chapter 35
Pretty good chapter, seemed like more of a set-up chapter, knowing what's coming up next. I did like Bryt's worries over Voldemort's return, and the bit of tension between Bryt and Ron when she brought up Terry and working with the Magical Creatures Removal Squad. I'm interested to see how Bryt is going to react to what happens next.
One suggestion, maybe have a couple scenes between Bryt and Ron to really build up their relationship in the story, and show how well they work together as a couple.
One typo I caught: "both gonna to great" should be "both gonna do great."
Really, really looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
| Chellendora 12/16/10 . chapter 34
It's hard to take anything serious when they're saying "Suffles is right!" xD
I had forgotten all about what the twins were up to, and that line about Ron saying he would never be a prefect. Hah! xD
| JJ Rust 12/16/10 . chapter 34
Not bad. Looks like a lot of this came straight from the book, but I guess this is one of those chapters where that's unavoidable in order to advance the plot. I did like some of Bryt's thoughts about what Fred and George are up to, and how Ron is eager to get some praise from Moody. Looks like, judging by the last few paragraphs, her worry level is starting to peak. Oh yeah, and restraining herself from popping off at Trelawney. Could she actually be developing some maturity?
One typo I picked up: "series of obstacle" should be "series of obstacles."
Keep up the good work.
| kitcool 12/7/10 . chapter 33
write more its good
| JJ Rust 12/2/10 . chapter 33
Pretty good chapter. You did a great job with Bryt's reactions to the house elves, and Winky especially. I guess she could only keep her anger in check for so long before exploding.
Some nice things on her thoughts regarding Ron. I also liked how she didn't know how to cheer up Ron when he was bemoaning the fact of how poor he is. It's always nice to sometimes see the hero/heroine unable to come up with a solution. It makes them more human.
Bryt's attitude toward the hate mail was believable given her character. Very cool how she just incinerated all the hate letters. And it was nice to get an update on how Sofi doing, including Bryt thinking about her friend's past luck with boyfriends.
One typo I caught: "Something that was hard to so" should be "Something that was hard to do"
So it looks like we're coming up on the finale for Bryt and Book Four. Anxious to see how she deals with Cedric's death and Voldemort's return.
Keep up the good work.
| Chellendora 12/1/10 . chapter 33
I hadn't realized I got behind, but I'm all caught up now! The past few chapters have been very good. I think I only saw one typo, and it's been interesting. I couldn't help but grin when Ron shared his toffee with Bryt.
| JJ Rust 11/16/10 . chapter 32
I have to say, one of your best chapters from the standpoint of getting into Bryt's head. I really liked how you explored her guilt over Sirius, and trying to come up with all sorts of rationales that maybe capturing Wormtail still wouldn't have changed Sirius' circumstances. Not that it worked for Bryt, but that's guilt for you. It can be tough to let go of. Then all her thoughts regarding Winky, and her frustration over Sirius not calling her by her name. Good stuff there. And those last few paragraphs regarding Percy. Well done, and that foreshadows so perfectly what's coming up in Book 5. I wonder how Bryt will respond to that.
Some typos I caught: "evaded on the run from Aurors and Death Eaters" should be "evaded Aurors and Death Eaters"
"t'how up" should be "t'show up"
Awesome job, here. Keep up the good work.
| JJ Rust 10/31/10 . chapter 31
Pretty good chapter. I like Bryt's change of heart over Fleur. She's actually seeing a human being inside that beautiful and vain exterior.
I liked the Rita article ripping on Bryt. It very much sounded in Rita Skeeter's voice.
I think there could have been a moment of surprise shown by Bryt and/or Hermione when they see the title of the article. I also think the chapter could have gone on a little longer, maybe really bring out Bryt's worries over meeting Sirius, to the point where the others notice something isn't right with Bryt's attitude and demeanor. Maybe it leads to a conversation about it between Bryt and Hermione.
a couple typos I caught: "Guild and dread was worming its way" should be "Guilt and dread wormed their way"
"you say here" should be "you stay here"
Keep up the good work.
| JJ Rust 10/12/10 . chapter 30
Good chapter. Excellent job in bringing out Bryt's worries over Ron and Harry during the second task. Liked the way she tried to balance logic and fear, with fear winning out most of the time.
One typo I caught: "whenever it was he would finally he showed up" should be "whenever it was he would finally show up."
| Chellendora 10/11/10 . chapter 30
This was another good chapter. _ There's a couple of sentence fragments that are incomplete or grammatically wrong, but I could still make sense of them. Mostly they were missing a word or something like that. Otherwise, good job with Bryt's anxiety of the Ron's disappearance.