I think it is a promising start. You gave the reader a good mental picture of what was going on, and the severity of the situation. The only problem that I noticed was a few grammatical errors. For example, "Old people like father Peter, they told him to use his crane as a weapon." In this sentence, you probably meant cane and not crane. I liked it overall, I really think you should continue on and keep it up. I'm happy you are trying out some original fiction!

Dude this is a great story! Keep it up I love it!