I like this story and the author oxoAquamarineoxo need suggestions for this story Fish Tails: The Mermaid Academy and so if you have a sugestions please say them in your review or PM oxoAquamarineoxo

WHOA-I think I love you right now. I ship MichelxNoel so hard I'd empty a shipload of alcohol just to get the ship sailing. *lame metaphor is lame* Warning: boring academic rambling below ('cause I have to put my education to good use o3o).

It's all right about the romance, 'cause truth to be told I'm not into romance myself. What I usually look for in a fanfic with my favorite pairings is how the characters interact, work together as partners/friends/enemies/etc., not necessarily how lovey-dovey they can be (unless, you know, it's a parody or something). But you mustn't equate romance with drama-those two are highly independent of one another, though they may at any point be used to complement the other.

Right! Onto the fic:

Actually, I was surprised to find the majority of the fic as funny, which makes me wonder if your choice of genre was justified, but I think the ending did the trick. Your writing style is okay-succinct, direct, without much of the painful romantic descriptions mostly associated with romance. (Except for the paragraph about Michel-I don't care how much description you put in there because I'm too much of a Michel fangirl to care.:p) Overall, I think the story's pretty good-not too cloying, not too unrealistic. I do love it that Noel has got some spirit in her-she gets too overshadowed in the series, IMHO. Another note: I LOVE devious!Michel:

'“My advisors.” He answered. “Both of whom would probably die if they knew what I was doing right now.” That’s a good idea. I should make sure to tell them.'

Some concrit: while I think that your writing style is okay, the tone and mood of the story does leave me to wonder about how I'm supposed to feel about the whole thing. On one hand, I can call it tragic because they had a fairly lighthearted interaction that was viciously debunked in the ending, but on the other I wouldn't really know what to do with them at this point (are they together? Is the ship sunk? Is it a hopeless romance? Am I supposed to be sad for them?).

Now, I can accept this as a realistic portrayal/deconstruction of the pairing. You've laid down the cliches ("love at first sight" and all), you've subverted them, you've defined the angst portion of the fic well. But I think that the ending could have come off stronger if you didn't make the foreshadowing so comical (how many times does Michel have to repeat himself before Noel realizes that he is the enemy?). You could always put it mildly, especially during the funny parts, like having him look away when Noel asks that they be friends, or even scarier (for the pairing), having him say nothing at all.

Although, I must admit that scene with Noel getting Michel's feather (dude molts like whoa O_o but he looks so adorable and vulnerable in the series that I don't care) after he flies off is brilliant. Can you just imagine the cinematic value of that one scene alone? The subtlety of expression, the gravity of the scene, the power of the emotions...well done! Yes, it's a scene recycled from many a forbidden romance, but it jars me out of the humor and makes me realize that you weren't kidding when you labeled the fic as an angst-y one.

Whoops, I spy a spelling error or two. But meh, a few grammatical mistakes never hurt anyone.

I was a little disappointed about how you pulled off the ending, though. The last part didn't quite "come alive" to me-here is where your writing style might need some work-the sentences were too telling. Short sentences are fine, but they must have that "oomph" to make up for the lack of descriptions.

Example:

'They transformed…

Then they sang…

But it did nothing.'

Too cliched, so it falls flat, however...

'A fossil has no ears to here your song.'

Beautiful! I can get so many emotions from this powerful sentence at once: indifference, coldness, maybe a touch of despair. And how Noel would feel upon hearing this doesn't even have to be described.

And for some final words: I like it.:) I like the funny, and I like the angst that it leads to. I like the way you handled the themes in the story without burdening it with too many romantic conventions. And by the convention of the romance genre alone I'd call this a pretty good one, since it managed to subvert the romance tropes while keeping them intact. And Michel with the dagger was just so much love!-it's rare for me to see violence (or attempted violence) with a sharp object where it concerns him. (But a whip, flute, and bow and arrow is not a bad arsenal, though...:3) I don't think I can thank you enough for answering my challenge!