"But if you think you can come here and infect my part of the canon..."

Haha! Mary Sues are the worst, aren't they?

*pouts and stomps foot in true brat style* Want Puddugwum!

Haha, nice job, Estella.

Tsk, tsk, tsk...poor Eustace. And bravo, Jill!

All right; you said that humor was not your strong point, and I halfheartedly agree, because this piece - while dissecting it fully would take quite a long time, I will say that this story - had a bit too much in some places and a bit too little in others. But I do think that with a little bit of practice you could develop a more balanced composition tactic and be very, very good at writing humor pieces - I was definitely laughing aloud at this piece!

That's funny! And very Eustace-ish! I'd say you might add a bit more in the descriptive area, are they in England or Narnia? But otherwise very good!

-Dyslexic Nerd

Hah, so funny! I love Eustace's trying to complement her and (for the most part) failing miserably. And Jill to the rescue! Hurrah!

Hows about...Jewel next? With Mary-Sue trying to plait his mane and put flowers in it, and asking him why he has a beard (because everyone knows unicorns are just horses with a horn stuck on their forehead) and asking if she can ride him.

Can't wait for more!

Lion's Blessing,

Eavis

This was hilarious. Great start.

Beware the Sue! And don't mix her up with Su(san). Nice little piece of silliness indeed. I have no idea why in the Narnia fandom there is such an abundance of Sues, but it's a sad fact. And of course most of them will go after also of course, they are usually less than intelligent - all their energy used up for their looks. I cant, though, for the life of me, not see what possible interaction there might be with Puddleglum - unless it's bad aim again...

Hehe, it's sue Bashing, I love it!

Eve