i think your story was waaaaaaaaayyyy to fast, add more detail next, time (not for the *ahem* parts)

Just gotta comment on two things, firstly I'm pretty sure at some point in the books someone mentions a lack of fertility for immortals? and second unless you have decided immortals pregnancy happens super fast, taking a test the morning after would be useless. I'm not trying to flame, just a bit confused.

Hello, my name is Brittney, and I just wunted to say that I saw that u said it was your first time...I understand. Wen I wrote my first book, it was really bad...im not saying that urs is, its just that you probably wanted tovdo a little more research before you put that stuff in there. First, u can't tell that ur pregnant right after you do that. Second, it would take a lot longer for a baby to be born. e because its an immortal baby, Idk but it was confusing. U have an awesome imagination, but u might want to put more detail into your story oh, and this is just constructive critisam, not trying to be mean or anything :)

I loved your story of Ever and Damen having a kid! Alysson Noel should have wrote that it would have made the book way more awesome.. expect mabey they should wait tll the end of everlasting so it be like a couple years later so that the books would have lasted longer!

I'd like to say that overall, the story was not well written at all. Not only were there run-on sentences, there were a lot of sentences that didn't make sense in the way they were written. I understand this is a work of fiction, but you need to have things that make sense. There is absolutely no way Ever could possibly find out she is pregnant a few hours after they've had sex. Also, there was some illiteracy. "Immortal-ness" is not a word, you should have thought to maybe look up the word "immortality" which is what you should have used. I suggest you work on your writing skills.

Update sooner!

They're having a baby :)

But she can't know that soon, right?

great story, extremely well written

i really like the concept but the writing was really not very good. (run-on sentences)

ahaha october 1st is my birthday! srry and this is a pretty good story :-)

omg i am loveing it so far

aaww how cute! it is too bad its so short... maybe u can rewrite it in a few months and make it longer :)

you know thats not cool they are so short and pretty cool. plez update soon.

aaaww why was it so short? and in bold? siiiigh... update plz