Ok, this is not a flame just to start out with. Flames make you want to kill yourself and never write again. I know. I've got them. Here are some things i noticed in your first Chapter

1. Ashli? Haha i got a girl in my school that acts and spells her name like that!

2. WAY WAY WAY WAY too obvious. I know this is Percy Jackson fanfics and they are suppose to be on the lines of PJO but bombarding us with obvious features that shes a demigod and probably daughter of Poseidon is just...like DUH!

3. I like your style of writing. and i think it's funny.

ANYWAY, i had to get that out. COME ON DREAMIN! KEEP ON WRITIN!

i think its great update

let me guess brother and sister huh, well good chapter. awesome!)

Gah! Percy, a teacher? Hah-hah. Nice story!

this is really good u should continue

I like, I like! It's quite cool to see a brand-new character that has no relation to any of the canons. Daughter of Hermes, maybe? One of the ones that Hermes asked Percy to find?

But in any case, the grammar and spelling are good, the story flows well, and it's enjoyable. Thanks for writing!

yo

This is awesome, can't wait to see where its heading.

cute i liked it, i'm not flaming you or anything its just it was a little to obvious.. but it was still good