It's very well.

Neil - "So please, just stay? For m-the Deep Eyes?" _

Poor Neil. He almost tell her, but he's afraid. How cute!

Anyway, I think it will be cooler if you develope more the story, write it in more chapters.

Tell us why Jane feels so unsure and how feels about Neil... And she could think more her answer, may be one day or two.

I just didn't like one thing:

Neil - "But...If you leave...I don't know who'll even give you a second glance."

Uff. I don't know. If I were Jane I would feel realy annoyed. He think nobody will give her a second glance! May be even I would have smacked him.

Please, answer me. I like very much your other stories too. Would you want to keep a contact?

Pretty good and funny!

Cute. *Smirks* Gotta love the rain..