"W-why must I die?" I don't think that Jesus was that naive to not no the purpose of his dieing. Other then that I think it was an ok portraylal.

Wonderfully written, great imagery - good job!

I love the way you write. Your descriptive ability and vocabulary are highly impressive. Excellent fix!

AL

Now, I really admire you for taking on this type of fic. My only question is...if this is based on the musical...wasn't Ted Neely (and whoever played him in the 2000 version) a tenor?

Beautiful imagery in the beginning...but perhaps a bit too much. Yes, you have a gift for describing things...but if you go overboard with it, some might just loose interest in the fic.

W...o...w

This is an extremely powerful piece of writing.

Your technique with words is exceptional.

I really enjoyed the metaphors you used, especially in regards to blood. You really created wonderful imagery in my mind.

And I don't have any criticism...I think that's a first for me. Great job.

Write more. Explore outside of your Zelda comfort zone. ;)

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Sydney