|Reviews for All About Us|
| Sardonic Kender Smile 12/5/12 . chapter 2
D'AWWW KENT. I am so sad for him. I guess he gets the best-case scenario though, where he gets to come with Lyn? (I mean, I KNOW WHAT'S COMING, but for now it's better than having to stay behind.) Extra-marital affairs happened all the time in the middle ages for this exact reason, as I know you know.
But seriously if I was told I'd have to marry some guy who'd tried to kill me on the field of battle, I would have drop-kicked him before I let him touch my waist. I guess this is proof that Lyn has really matured since the war, and truly is trying to do the best for Caelin. I can only imagine what Kent was thinking, though. Somebody else's hands on her!
Hector was super in-character, by the way.
Gah. Also, tonally this whole chapter you kept flip-flopping between happy things (barefoot Lyn, the kid asking her to dance, etc.) with dark stuff (Hector storming out, Hausen's death, etc.). WAY TO PUT ME ON THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER. I feel like you're going to keep flopping deeper and deeper into the dark. I'm depressed but also intrigued...
And now, what you knew was coming all along: BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER MANNA HEY MANNA MANNA YOU SHOULD UPDATE YOUR STORY.
| Sardonic Kender Smile 12/5/12 . chapter 1
So I'm still crying and wounded because you never told me you were writing this. And after all the times I pestered you about it, too, in the past couple years!
WELL I AM HERE NOW. TO PESTER YOU FOR UPDATES. Because this was all exposition and there's only one chapter after this and THAT IS NOT ENOUGH FOR ME GOSHDARNIT. The idea of a secret kiss at the end was very sweet ;_;. Also, I love anything that involves Sain and the desire to meddle in Kent's love life.
Also poor Wallace is lost! I hope he comes tanking back to crash through a wall or something. BEST RESCUE EVER. But I have no idea which way you're going to push the ending for this. I'm a little nervous about it, actually! You're capable of so much. What if it breaks my heart?
OH WAIT. It can't. Because my heart is already broken. Because you didn't tell me you posted this fic.
ANYWAY. Continuing on!
| Jamie Jazz 7/10/11 . chapter 2
this is pretty awesome! the amount of angsty romance going down is killing me! AHH! i NEED an update!
The Jazzmeister XD
| SpeedDemon315 3/1/10 . chapter 2
Aw, poor Kent and Lyn. Even though it's looking bleak for them, I am loving how this fanfic is playing out. All the covert, passionate exchanges between Lyn and Kent are so wonderfully established, I like how you create certain moods and describe the many types of Lyn's smiles-beautifully done!
I look forward to see what happens the next chapter-keep up the great writing!
| Trevor X 2/24/10 . chapter 2
Beautifully, desperately written. (Not that you were desperate, mind. I just don't know how to articulate it any better.)
["Please, just one more..."] Sets the tone for the entire chapter.
I had made some assumptions as to where this story was leading, based off of the first part of the prologue. Reading this has confirmed those. I'm fairly certain that I know where this is leading... (Ah, the sorrow!)
Just one quick question, though. How in the world did Erik manage to finagle lordship of Laus? If I remember correctly (which I'm desperately playing through the game again to find out), Laus' invasion was prelude to superseding Ostia as the ruling house inside of the league. I wouldn't have thought that anyone would have supported leaving Erik (who was quite entusiastic in prosecuting his father's war, regardless!) in a position where he would have been able to have any chance of re-igniting those ambitions.
I also find it a bit improbable that Lord Hausen would have set up this match... if for no other reason than that he would have had some eye for his granddaughter's happiness, after so completely losing his daughter over a similar(?) happenstance. Could it have been manufactured by someone else? Might this not be Erik's continuing play for his father's ambition?
Okay, so a few more questions got added there. Still, as I said before, beautifully written. I'll be watching to see where this goes. (And crying for Kent and Lyn in the meantime).
| Sotsumi 2/22/10 . chapter 2
I really enjoyed this chapter, but I'm left wondering about Erik's feelings about his engagement to Lyn. Is he doing it for the political/economic benefit? Is he indifferent toward Lyn? Put off by her Sacaean heritage? Pleased by her attractiveness? I can't wait to find out!
Also, I wonder how long it'll take Kent to grow a spine and not put up with this, because, in reality, I think she would appreciate it. (And I think you do, too!)
| Elliwood 2/22/10 . chapter 2
Kent is so stupid. He lie to himself and to Lyn. He can forget Caelin and whatever and claim his love. I'm sure Lyn hope to marry him instead Erik, that bastard don't deserve her.
I hope you will give them a happy ending. Last, I like your story and I will wait the next chapter.
| Mark of the Asphodel 2/21/10 . chapter 2
Whew. Keep forging on with this- it's good. The characters all feel three-dimensional and vividly alive, and the love between Kent and Lyn is convincing instead of just assumed- it's a terrible weakness in romance 'fics when the pairing the reader is supposed to root for is simply taken for granted and not *shown* in a genuine sense. Though I did notice a few weird spots:
"I can't believe you're letting her marry another man," he said sourly, clearly upset with his redheaded companion.- We've been in Kent's POV, so why is Kent thinking about the color of his own hair?
"when a young boy asked her to dance, eight years old and charming"- the modifier is in a funny place.
"Sain sent word to Lyn—still clearly upset with Kent"- Same deal; it sounds like Lyn's upset with Ken.
The doll-in-a-window metaphor and the glass windows of the carriage both seemed a little more Victorian than knights-in-shining-armor, IMO. Good deals, but they jarred me a little.
Now, for the good:
"Hector and Florina, Eliwood and Ninian… they were marrying people who weren't even respected members of their community."- Excellent point! An Ilian mercenary and a... dancing girl.
"but he liked to think that those who knew him respected him."- Aw. You show Kent's core doubts- and core flaws- in a touching way.
"They hate you," he informed Lyndis immediately before remembering his manners and bowing."- I think I started to love this 'fic right here. The disorder Lyn and the boys left behind when they went off to Save the World is just one of those things that needs to be dealt with!
Sain is just great in this; so are Hector and Eliwood in their brief appearances. I love the tension between Sain and Kent in a dramatic story (in comedies, it just bugs me 99% of the time), and this uses them beautifully. They both have their own version of "reality," and neither of them is totally correct in it.
"Am I two people, now?"
"Two vastly different sides to the same coin, milady,"- LOVELY!
Yeah, this is a good one. Don't lose heart now... I want to see how this one ends.
| Forced Simile 2/16/10 . chapter 1
MOAR NAO PLZ?
A more coherent review:
Kent is ever so Kent. I'm just slightly surprised by Lyn's behavior, but it's not out of character. Perhaps she just doesn't want to push Kent when there's something bigger at stake. Sain and Florina are precious. All in all: I can't wait for the next chapter. :)
| Mark of the Asphodel 2/16/10 . chapter 1
Quite different. I really look forward to seeing what you do with this one- already, the double standard of Lycian nobility is apparent. The POV in this is strange- it almost feels communal in places, but then there's a distancing effect wherein each character is viewed under the microscope for a moment before the field of view drifts away. In spite of the charged subject matter, the scene feels dry and chilly until the last few paragraphs.
I hope things work out for Sain and Fiora...
| Elficiel 2/16/10 . chapter 1
Quite an interresting introduction ) I liked it.
Poor Kent. Fortunally, Lyn is here !
I'm looking forward to the next chapter !
| Sotsumi 2/16/10 . chapter 1
I'm definitely intrigued.
I'm getting a certain vibe about where this is going with Erik, and I can't wait to read more. Hector and Florina are as adorable as ever and I love Sain finally managing to focus on one woman.
Excellent start, and I'm sure chapter 2 will be equally interesting.
| Trevor X 2/16/10 . chapter 1
[Maybe if they had seen, things would have turned out differently.]
That is a TERRIFYING line. Am still trying to foresee what horrors await in this prophecy of DOOM. (shivers)
[Florina smiled at the thought of her own future. She would be wealthy and powerful and loved—really, truly loved—by Hector. She was still painfully shy and she sometimes froze at the thought of speaking to him, but she was doing better every day, and so was he. She was nobody, just a poor girl from Ilia, a mercenary, but they were going to be together. Hector had promised her that when he had kissed her before they parted ways. She still blushed just to remember it.] Ah, Florina! You make us smile at your inner monologue.
[But Lyn… Lyn wasn’t happy. Hector could marry a mercenary, but Lyn couldn’t marry a knight? And it wasn’t as if Kent could be considered just a knight; he held the rank of a knight commander! Maybe it was because Ostia was a military country, or maybe it was because of something else. Why couldn’t Lyn be happy, too? It broke Florina’s heart to see her friend hurting, but she couldn’t change the laws that applied to Caelin or its heir.] And your compassion for your friend is genuine as always. Too bad you can't rewrite the laws of Caelin. Though to be sure, I always wondered what laws, exactly those were. They weren't ever spelled out in game, so I wonder how exactly they'll be written here?
Again, that last line terrifies me to no end.