CompilcAted but after reading twice makes more sense .good so far

Whoa!

I don't know where this is headed but I like it. So no more jealous Asa ? I loved how she kept getting jealous over the other sexy girls.

Loving what I'm reading!

Lol your right lots of plot lol had to read it twice but I got it. Interesting. On to the next one

Love the jealousy , u should have totally extended it. I feel the anime didn't justify just how jealous each would get... Liking story so far.

read your story

love it, nice work

it was good i gues but r u going to do a sequal to this in the near future?

Not to be a stickler, but it seems that you wrote Rin's offspring as a daughter in some parts, a son in the others. It's a cute idea to have the girls' daughters after his son. Is Odin Yggdrasil's first name?

So...does half-right at least win your feedback on my Shuffle! story? ;)

Riddle answer: Yggdrasil?

Review: A bit deus ex machina, and I still feel the girls functioned too much like devices for the plot rather than characters, but the concept of unseen gods pulling the strings around Rin's harem is full of possibility. I did like the words of wisdom as transitions. Now that Rin and Nerine both have a god in disguise while Kaede has a God with a split personality this really does seem like an end that could begin a whole new story.

The Shuffle characters are starting to seem too much like secondary characters to the Fenris story, but despite that I'm still interested to see where this new twist takes us.

Ah, now I'm feeling that familiar torture, wondering what cards you have up your sleeve.

My only critique is that, in this chapter, Asa seems more like simply 'Rin's girlfriend' than a fleshed out major character.

Noticed a few too many type-o's not to mention. Apart from a general proof read, this could use some explanation as to why, if Asa is a college grad, and smarter than Rin besides, would she settle for a waitressing job? ;P

Joker in the 'pack'? As in wolf pack? Cute. :)

A lot of plot there, yes, more than most previous chapters put together. Frankly I'd cut the length of the story thus far in half. I'm sure you've got ideas on where to take this and I'm still very curious to see them.