great story

Just ignore those trolls who tell you your story sucks. I think they do not know what FANFICTION is.

Your story is good.

"the ground hurtling towards me with an alarming rate" The correct term is AT an alarming rate. The whole thing felt pretentious, with completely excessive use of broken sentences, and commas being blatantly abused to join up seemingly random phrases.

To sum it up, it was dull swill written by someone who thinks they're far better than they actually are.

That was a nice take on a single incident in the story, a character one might not think about, but surely had her own reasons and motivations for who she is. I think this story conveyed it well without apologies or pity, making her a person who was more than just the opening scene for Samara.

Oh, yeah, a PhD candidate certainly is a little girl, hmm? Coming from an 18 year old who probably lives in his mothers basement with his precious ToS that oh so intimidates the rest of us.

I'm cowering.

Don't worry, angel. I don't need to get off of fanfiction. You obviously can't do anything about it since I don't have a story you could complain about, now can you, doll?

I've never even heard of this fandom before, but I really enjoyed this, specifically the ending. Creeped me out. The tone of submission throughout was quite excellent, too, and stays with me at the back of my mind as I type this. Lovely.

[Stupidly, I tell her she cannot know what horrors I face; that she could never match the terror inflicted into me by my own sisters.]

I would probably use a colon rather than a semi-colon.

[I continue downwards, the ground hurtling towards me with an alarming rate.]

"At" an alarming rate?

[Landing backwards on the cargo crates down I yell as the breath is knocked out of me. ]

Missing something there, I think.

[The pressure pushes at my last remaining connection to this world; the fragile bone with the spinal cord wound lovingly around the structure: such a delicate thread holding my existence in place.]

Here, too, I'd probably change that semi-colon-to a dash this time.

Yay. :D

This isn't a bad story. The protagonist being a character that probably hasn't had a story made yet is remarkable.

I'd probably leave a bit more detailed review, but I was skimming your profile...

"To me, you are a faceless author until I know you at a personal level, and if I dislike your fiction and consider it against site rules, I will review and report it." Less QQ. More pewpew.

[waits for a stereotypical flame on a story I wrote when I fifteen] O

This is really interesting, and honestly exactly the sort of stories I'd hoped to encounter on this site. It's not the greatest story I've ever read (which, considering you'd been up for 34 hours when you wrote this, it's impressive that it's still good, lol), but it's certainly interesting. Which is a hell of a lot more than you can say about most stories people submit to this site.