jajaja khaaannn!

Kudos for the Naruto mention! :D
But wow. I feel for Minerva! Having Harry as headmaster *shakes head pityingly*

I love the last omake. It is hallarous.

I am wondering it there is a way to favorite certain chapters because I love chapter eleven! I could not stop laughing!

I thought there was a part in the last chapter where it said "suddenly, it wasn't too late" for Harry to change the choices he made, and that's why he went to Ravenclaw. Did it get deleted, or was it never there? If it was intentionally deleted, is this because you changed your mind about the cause of the last line, or simply because you didn't want to give away some part of it?

this chapter is AWESOME and my favorite part was "ROOT!" although it was a tough call between that and "PANCAKE!" (Root was a reference to Naruto, right?) this entire Fanfiction is brilliant and I love it so far! even though Harry annoys me so much sometimes (maybe all of the time) :P

THIS.

THIS IS SO FUNNY I MUST USE CAPS LOCK TO STRESS EXACTLY HOW MUCH.

No seriously, this is hilarious. Just for fun, I decided to check the most reviewed story HP story on ever, and I honestly expected it be something disappointing, however, it is not. Thank you for this, and I'll be on to the next chapter.

ps: do you think JK Rowling ever reads fanfiction? (I know I would if I were her) She really ought to read this.

pps: I don't expect an answer on the question stated earlier.

ppps: yes, I know that makes the former statement, as well as the question, completely superfluous.

"Who will be Head of House Gryffindor?"
Dumbledore put a finger to his cheek, looking thoughtful. "Snape."
Snape's screech of protest nearly drowned out McGonagall's, "Then who will be Head of Slytherin?"
"Hagrid."
OMG HAHAHAHAHA! And my favorite alternate sorting scene was draco m!preg. :P
And that last part, with the Hat sorting him into the Headmaster's office? TEEHEE!

Hilarious, all of the alternate sortings.

You made me giggle on several occasions, thank you. This piece of fanfiction is an excellent example of wit.

"KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN" i died. omg i died and its all your fault.

What about the House of Cards?

I laughed when Hadrid became the head of house for Slytherin. I spit out my milk when Harry was the reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, and Naruto. Buy as a Trekie(only TOS) I actually covered my face a rolled around on the ground when Khan popped up. . . KHAAANNNN!

This is hilarious.

like my handle says the little things make me happy, the song was bloody brilliant

Holy ROwling, those Omakes are awesome XDDD
I think that the first one is perfectly okay to happen...because that's how Harry thinks, right? ;)
Ghostbusters - awesome idea :D
And the "endings"...I have no words. I laughed too hard. "But who will be the Head of Slytherin?" "Hagrid." xDDDD
I know. I make too many smileys. But that's the only way how to show my YAYAYAYAYing while reading another amazing chap :D

hervissa :)

Reincarnation of Naruto? Lol, totally wasn't expecting that!

Dude, you totally should have thrown in the ghostbusters gag. And the Atreides bit nearly killed me from laughing. Well done.

Oh. Dear. Lord. I honestly wasn't sure when to write a review, but after laughing so hard I began to cry, I simply must applaud you, Dear Author.
Also:
What a stunning INTJ you have created.
And Harry's little speeches have made me PROUD to be a scientist.
Carry on, as I will certainly carry on reading.

Why was there not an omake of SPARTA!?
Also, "Headmaster" was brilliant.

Laughing too much. This is unhealthy for my stomach.

OMAKE IM CRY TEARS ARE STREAMING OUT OF MY EYES I FUCKCEELRAIUGAETG

hahahaha loved all of these :D :D

Funny!

Your version of Harry as heasmaster? One word: pandemonium.
I'm going to print your omake and pin it over my bed. No more morning depression!

Ah, that explains it.

On a sidenote: still hilarious, especially the Draco, Khaannnn(!), Atreides and final "versions".

I just about sprayed soda across my computer screen, when I read the last Omake. ROFLMAO! I wish I'd started reading this story, once it reached 60,000 words, which is where I have my story length filter set.

Exploding hat had me rolling with laughter

LOL!

Sorting Hat: "TZEENCH!"

Just as planned.

Omake Files #3 were Pure comedy genius, and I for one both salute and thank you for them!

McGonagall's thought process is highly amusing and the omake's in general are. Oh well.

Hahaha! UNREAL! :'D

*cracks up and makes a spirited effort to cough up a lung or two in mids of hysterics*

Above pretty much sums it up. Reading on... XD

omg these omakes!

:D OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY!

"Fooled you again! HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN! HUFFLEPUFF!"

I'm a Chinese. Someone translated your novel into Chinese and put it on our forum. He translated only 5 chapters，but I really want to know what happened then. So I come to fanfiction for the English version. I'm not very good at English, some of those local expressions confused me. BUT the story do attracts me a lot. I love your characters.

good that you put the Harry Potter version of Ghostbusters here. i missed it.

KHAAAAAANNNN!
Oh my God, what am I READING?
Can't. Stop. Weird snarky-giggle-laugh-thing.

OMG! You are killing me, Ghost buster sriously!? I think you need to be arrested for attempted murder, victim almost died of cardiac arrest due to too much laughter.

I read that bit while listening to the GB theme on youtube, visualising Harry dancing through the great hall.

"KHAAANNNN!"

And that's when I lost my shit.

Okay, this one was sort of crazy, bat crazy

THIS CHAPTER IS PRICELESS I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD AND SO LONG I TIP MY HAT TO YOU GOOD SIR THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOLS SO FAR THIS IS THE BEST FANFICTION I HAVE READ TO DATE CONTINUE WRITING

I literally laughed out loud when Hagrid became Head of Slytherin,

OH MY SIDES! Tears flow freely down my face and I am unable to breathe. Thanks. To your hilarious writing. For making me die. This is my ghost writing.

Hillarious

Omake? HILARIOUS! My personal favourites were Atreides , Khaan and representatives (i nearly fell out of my chair on this one)!

freaking grandiose!

*blink blink* *grasshopers chirping in the silence* ...What?!1?!

While I certainly preferred your "real" chapter 10, this chapter made me laugh quite a bit!

This chapter was too funny not to review. The chapter really gives meaning to lol. 10/10 for the omakes

Weird chapter.

Yay, the song is still there! I can understand people not liking it, but it's nice to know it still exists.

Personally, getting to hear the Ghostbusters theme song in its original context was the highlight of the entire movie. This is what happens to you when you need to take a break from HPMOR :)

I absolutely loved this chapter, the comic relief was amazing even if it wasn't really needed because the story itself is very funny.

These are hilarious!

LOL this is my favorite chapter so far! this fanfic is brilliant! xD

House of Pancakes...House of Reprasentatives...I see. I did like the first of the Omake Files #3 the best...

I actually cant breathe from laughing right now...
Best. Story. Ever.

omg, that last one is the best, in my opinion.

I love all the versions!

Chapter 11 with the Omakes was freaking hilarious! I couldn't... Omg xD

The one about the rape and following obliviation was the funniest one, imo.

No, really; it's just a case of fundamental attribution error. If you read the reviews first then you just need some context.

This was great. I thoroughly enjoyed reading every one of these possible scenarios. Bravo.

Sorry. Detailed review to be submitted later, but I just had to say it:

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

XD lmao!

Oh, so the Ghostbusters thing is now gone. I am very much ok with that choice, especially if it means that more people are going to stick with the story.

excuse me as I go die... the sorting hat ones, dear lord, I was laughing so hard. Anywho back to reading

-Ellipsis aka ...

*maniacal laughter*

This is the funniest thing I've ever read.

All brilliant, though I have to say I think my favorite is:

"KHAAANNNN!"

Oh gosh, I can't stop giggling like an idiot. THIS OMAKE IS ABSOLULTELY HILARIOUS. While I'm at it, your entire story and writing is just fantastic in general. I've never read anything this great on ever!

Literally ROFLMAO

In fact, if I could sue you for nearly giving me a cardiac/asphyxiating me due to laughter, I'd be calling my laywer... well, I'd have someone else call my lawyer since I would be incapacitated.

Kepp it up, you sick wierdo :))

had to review this chapter if only to say "Poor Minerva" xD You, my dear, are brilliant. This story is something I never expected to find on this site. It is a challenge to read. Not just because I can't just burst into laughter in this house, but because I have to actually keep tabs open to look things up and understand the text completely. I've been reading this for 3 days and I am completely enthralled each time I pull it back up. Though I think you should put a warning in the description. When I first started reading I had an asthma attack from being surprised into laughter by Harry (or, rather, your) quick wit. Your Harry is completely tearing apart the world of Harry Potter that I know and I am enjoying it! haha

YYWKMN.

Please, I don't think you have really considered ALL possibilities here.

For example, why wasn't Harry sent to House of the Squid? Or what about living with the mermaids, where he might be able to learn new languages and have his first experience in anthropologizing magical existences? Because really, jumping into the magical world of humans is a lot for such a hyperactive mind as his. He could potentially go insane! Floating foetally around in water for a few years, especially those dangerous teenage ones, would give him a chance to calm down a little. Maybe have a confidence-building Avataresque experience.

Or he could have gone to House of the Forbidden Forest, where he could spy on the centaurs' research into astronomy and divination each night, returning home to his unicorn bride at dawn to suckle from her golden nipple all the day long. A much more productive existence.

Or sent to Beauxbatons, where there are SURELY some pretentious French children who have some experience with Descartes and Diderot.

Harry should really get out more. Push his boundaries. That would be the best stimulation for a child like him.

And of course, get him a pet. He needs a pet. He needs something fuzzy to love him.

Lots of love,

Momma

Dear me. HOW could you say that this story picks up around Chapter 10 (ok, it did...) and not let readers know that Chapter 11 is hysterical! I haven't laughed so hard in weeks.

I do believe I'm in love with your Minerva from the final Omake.

Yeah, yeah, but the problem with all this egotistical (egoistical?) shoving yourself as author into the narrative (tale, story?) is that the reader (namely me, you egoistical bastridge, as Johnny Dangerously might say) is that I don't *want" to lose my train of thought and I don't want to follow all these alternative narratives. I like the story, tale, narrative you had going, you maroon, so get off your self-imposed pedestal and get on with it . . . if you please.

I love this story so far. I have to say I'm very impressed, I love Harry's logical way of thinking, if he was raised that way, I'm thoroughly positive, that in fact. He would act this way, I like and am sort of disturbed by it in way. He is intelligent, and his theories all logical, perfect, and make others at a loss for words. I do think, that if I get farther, he will think to much of his intelligence and go to far with it. He has already asked Hermione, I think this Harry and Hermione would be able to discover a lot of things, I just hope he doesn't become to conceited, and becomes evil. Though I do see that as a high-probability. This is a very interesting, perspective and idea, I'm really into it, and I will continue to read on. You are an amazing writer, this is one the most well-written stories I have read.

What is this? I don't even...*applause* that was totally cracktastic

Ohmygodohgod. This is damn right hilarious! I was bloody rolling on the floor laughing my friggin lungs out. Nice! :D :D :D

The first Omake in this chapter gives me an idea for a recursive fanfic: What if Methods of Rationality Harry was raised by the Dursleys? Basically, what if HPMOR lacked it's single primary point of departure, but still had all of the little and not so little other differences that separate it from canon? Presumably the Harry that exists in this new timeline would be something of a cross between canon!Harry and Rationality!Harry. Basically his intelligence and competence would be scaled up to the same degree that everyone's has in the HPMORverse, rather than to the incredible heights of Rational!Harry He'd probably be more like the hero Dumbledore was expecting really.

.

.

.

That. Bloody. Chapter. Freaking. Confused. The. Hell. Out. Of. Me.

But it was hilarious.

*Insert goofy grin*

omgwtf?

Best funny chapter I have ever read. Ever.

what the bloody hell i can not stop fucking laffing at this shit.

1, 2, and 6 were my favorites. I actually enjoyed this a lot- a grand addition to the story.

Hey, you have a point saying HP is like Naruto. I never noticed that.

I think you could have gone with the one where the Sorting Hat answers all the questions really quick and sorts him. That would have been hilarious and random. But I'm glad you went with the mental debate.

Great Omakes. A few of them made me laugh. As for your request for the last Omake to be made into a story, it slightly has. Look the "The Headmaster" by Chris Robins. It's pretty good in my opinion. I can't wait to read more of this amazing story.

Dear sweet mother of god, I love this chapter.

I love this story and all it's rationality and science and witty, quotable lines. The first couple of Omake files were awesome...and the joke about House Atraides made me smile. Keep up the awesomeness!

I couldn't wait to write my review. I've only read the first eleven chapters, but this fic would be worth it just with them. Pure comedy gold. It's said that it's more difficult to make people laugh than anything else, so I can assure you this experiment of yours is successful, at least with me.

I'll see what happens with the "Drama" parts.

Words... cannot... describe...

I think I may have broken a rib from laughing so hard. I definitely got some odd looks. The final Omake is almost certainly my favourite, just because I really love your portrayal of Professor McGonagall. Just for this chapter, I'm now adding this story to my Favourites.

Thank you for that bit of perspective on how much else changed in this universe. Harry may be ludicrously overpowered, but so's turban-free Quirell, and even ol' Albus isn't that bad.

"ROOT!" Am now giggling far too hard.

I initially parsed the last one to mean that Harry would get in so much trouble, he ought to preemptively go to the Headmaster's office. I now assume you meant it sorted him into the literal role of Headmaster. Oh, the glorious chaos that would ensue.

Would it be a paradox if Harry were the reincarnation of those three? And if he was installed as Headmaster, would Hogwarts survive the night?

THIS IS AWESOMELY HILARIOUS.

Yes. Yes! YES! This story is DELICIOUS!

The first omake is brief, pure hilarity! The last one is a great comedy, and makes me wish it could one day grow to an entire story on its own :0

Hahaha. Hilarious. Is Khan a reference to a movie and Atriedes to a game? Just wonder

This chapter win.

House of Atreides? Is that a reference to Suikoden 2?

I think I died twice over reading this. Hilarious. Good job.

The Omakes are great and I can see where sme of the material either came from stories or some how ended up as stories...

headmaster harry? we're doomed

I really hope someone takes up your challenge to give Atchoo to Minerva, Griffindor to Severus, and Slytherin to Hagrid. Severus has the courage without the tendency to rush in where angels fear to tread, and Hagrid could show the Snakes the advantages to fearlessness and loyalty.

...and Naruto!

I bow down in your glory.

I can not express in word how I felt about this chapter. I have never felt so inspired in my life.

Thank you for these hilarious alternate-universe omakes. Keeping it lighthearted!

LOL! Oh god I love this oh god...

Lol very amusing

I have rarely read anything that makes me laugh more than this!

"I've had to tell students before that they were mothers - it would break your heart to know what I saw in their minds -

At first I assumed they had had underage affairs and had been dumped. Kind of sad, but heart-breaking?

Then I realized it meant rape.

Likely by her own family members.

Then I remembered McGonagall's worry that Harry had been somehow abused, and that she has to deal with abused children regularly.

BRB crying forever

You read manga!

The naruto reference had me in fits. You're awesome..it's like finding an old friend

Keep writing!

I have never read anything funnier. I am trying desperately not to laugh loud enough to wake everyone up and probably failing. You. Are. Brilliant. I want you to know that I don't give that compliment to lot of people, not even myself, and really, trully mean it. But I am reading this story based on a premise that should completely fail and here you've gone and made it into something beautiful and Absolutely BRILLIANT that will probably mean so much more to me than I can logically justify for the rest of my life. Thank you.

I have never read anything funnier. I am trying desperately not to laugh loud enough to wake everyone up and probably failing. You. Are. Brilliant. I want you to know that I don't give that compliment to slot of people, not even myself, and really trully mean it. But I am reading this story based on a premise that should completely fail and here you've gone and made it into something beautiful and Absolutely BRILLIANT.

LOL someone should totally write a story where Harry becomes headmaster because of the sorting hat

Definately my favorite was:

"ATREIDES!"

Oh! Brings back so many glorious memories.

Lovely fun chapter.

I can offer a well-rounded critique to this/these. I can't breathe. This is the funniest thing in memory that I've ever read. Especially Harry being a father.

HEADMASTER!

XD

I aughed so hard at this, particularly the 'Harry is a father' one and the last one, could you tell me if anyone did continue with these as their own continuation fic?

Hilarious! Hagrid would make a perfect head of house for Slytherin! but Harry as Headmaster - I'm not so sure. Must hurry on now and see where you're taking us.

What the fuckkk Hehahhahahahhehahhaha

You know what? I just might take you up on your offer to make a spin off of the last one!

headmaster and Achoo were the funniest..

Sure do wish he got into Gryf, as we generally know the backstory better when he's in Grfy.

Still, looking forward to ravenclaw.

I see you spent alot of time deliberating how the last chater would turn out, I loved it, and I love this, you are an amazing writer!

P.S.

I especially love how your humor and intelligence are on par with each other.

OMG! Chapter 11 is INCREDIBLE.

It is SO funny, I was just laughing at midnight and my father was screaming at me for not being able to sleep.

Really good, keep up the good work.

CHANGEMYVOICEIO! Haha loved that one.

HEADMASTER! Epic win.

I love this more and more.

This Is HILARIOUS! I gave up reviewing every chapter a few chapters back and will henceforth only review chapters that were absolutely AMAZING (and, once I get to the end, all the chapters that you then come out with) and this one definently qualifies - it qualifies enough that I've forgotten how to spell definently! Something I was extremely proud of figuring out. AND I don't care at the moment!

Likely, I'll start caring about said spelling error as soon as I hit the 'Submit Feeback/Review' button and by then it will be too late-but until then, whatever!

THIS CHAPTER IS AWESOME I COULD BARELY BREATHER FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH! oh my stomach and lungs hurt...

XD This is one hell of a fic, I cant believe I just found out about it... (but then again, I only started actually reading the books last week...)

Well, I'm a little sad about how Ron is separated and Harry Hermiony are in Ravenclaw... but anyways, I'll just continue reading.

That was amazing... just whoah

I think my favorite was the one where draco rapes harry

oh my laws did I just type that

that is so wrong

Hilarious omakes. But now I am becoming worried; I just realized that I occasionally think frighteningly simmilar to what was revealed in the mental conversations last chapter. Perhaps I, too, am relying too much on my laziness and sense of morality?

I mean, just because I wonder what would happen if I performed human experiments doesn't mean I would actually act upon my curiosity. I understand that just becuse I can do something doesn't mean I should do it.

... I think this calls for another round of serious soul searching. I haven't done that in about a month, I'm past due. It's time for me to, once again, ponder my possible response and actions should I find myself in certain moral dillemas or circumstances. :/

Often, the best stories are ones that make you think, even better if they make you look at and analyze yourself and your world. I'm not sure where I heard that before (I think it was in a theatre class and was pertaining to art and plays) but that certainly applies to this story. :D

Omg, I laughed so hard at this chapter. So funny!

I seriously love the whole fanfiction, it becomes a compleatly different story after you've changed Harry but it's still easy to relate to since it's "Harry Potter. But then again, duh, that was your point...

Anyway, love it, very very well done (are you actually that smart?) and I look forward to reading the rest. Love Minawa

Okay, I'm going to read all the way through the entire d*mn thing and give a review on the last-so-far published chapter after this review (which will probably take a week or so . . .don't expect anything from me for a while). I usually don't review a multi-chap fic mid story, but so far your fic has completely flattened my expectations, so here goes:

1) Love it so far. Really, really love it.

2) Love your interpretations of the world. Draco's a jack*ss but you've done amazing things with his character.

3) Love Harry's snark. Love Harry's logic.

4) My main concern about this fic is that there won't be much heart in it at all. Obviously, since it's a lot darker version of the Harry Potter books, there won't be nearly as much since there are some definitely harsh aspects to this world. But there should still be heart. I am concerned with the way you discard Ron, because he brings a lot of heart to the books which balances out the themes well. However, I haven't read the whole fic yet so maybe you'll do a good job of it.

5) Love Hermione. Love, love, love Hermione. I was afraid you'd f*ck her up and make her pathetic next to Harry (cementing Harry's status as a Gary Stu) but she holds her own and he respects her for it, which was definitely a turning point in the story and the place where I decided to like Harry as a character and not merely an object of snark.

6) The entire conversation with the hat reminded me weirdly of conversations I've had with myself on the subject of my own arrogance.

7) Harry's conversation with the hat was extremely well-thought out and an amazing interpretation. I just can't explain how freaking much I love it. Really. I. Can't.

You rock my socks off so very much.

8) Plot is very well thought-out.

9) Your writing skills, while certainly not Neil Gaiman or Philip Pullman worthy, are definitely on par with JK Rowling's or even better since you avoid extraneous adjectives a lot better than she does.

. . . I had a self-demonstrating example there, which I'm sure you noticed, so I'd better stop pointing it out if I want to avoid sounding like a complete moron.

10) I am so very jealous of your crazy-awesomeness right now. I justify it to myself that I'm only sixteen. I read somewhere that you're thirty-one. Maybe I'll catch up to your skills in fifteen years. Maybe.

11) This fic so far has been incredibly inspiring. It makes me view the world differently, which, frankly, is the ultimate goal of any fiction.

12) When I review this fic in the future, I will not review it from the viewpoint of 'oh, he's raping canon!' I think canon rape is bad, but the way you've done it makes it seem almost like canon foreplay . . . agghh, I hate rape jokes so I'm just going to shut up and put myself out of my misery by slashing my wrists . . . and there I go with the suicide jokes. Next I'll make an abortion joke and you'll really have to kill me. GAH. SHUTTING UP NOW.

13) I laughed so hard during this chapter, and since I'm huddled up in my bed with the lights turned off at 11 at night, I'm pretty sure my mother heard my muffled screams and thinks I'm watching pr0n or something. Thanks a lot, Less Wrong. -_-

Either way, you're amazing. I'm going to stop reviewing and start picking my way through this amazing-thus-far monstrosity of a fic. And, of course, I will be sure to b*tch about any complaints I have. :) Since I got directed here from tvtropes, I will be, of course, vastly informed on the subject of b*tching people out.

Until later,

-liz

I would absolutly love to read a story where harry becomes headmaster at 11. Lol. This story practically has me rolling on the floor. :)

Oh my god, that was amazing. SO MUCH LAUGHTER.

"KHAAANNNN!"

ROFLMAO!

That was probably the hardest I have laughed in a very long time. Thank you for that. Also, as this is my first review of the story so far, I just want to say I think, over all, this is awesome. As any of my friends could tell you (if you were somehow to meet them and know they were my friends) I have been complaining about the irrationality of the Harry Potter books since I put them down after book 4. So thanks for picking up this challenge.

I'll save the more writing major-esque critical reviews for when I haven't just almost laughed myself off the bed at 3:38am on a day before class- and when I get closer to the more recent stuff.

One note, though- super props for using the strange loop consciousness theory from GEB. It is currently my favorite theory and seeing it made me smile.

The only moment in my life in which I laughed almost as much as when reading this was when I was reading the Madame Malkin's incident. Seriously, will you marry me? Ok, not seriously. But having the hat yell KHAAAAN! was awesome. I absolutely adore this fanfic. I mean, it involves Harry/Hermione, which is very good; It's extremely instructive, much more so than the books themselves or any other fic I've read, which is certainly more than very good; and the bloody thing is extremely hilarious. I congratulate you on tempting me to steal your brain and merge it with mine (sorry. I'm extremely good at maths and physics, but not quite to your level. And I also know Pi up to the sixth digit, although I plan on one day learning it up to Feynman point so I can make the "999999 and so on" joke of apparent periodicity). It's a true privilege to read your take on the Harry Potter saga.

omg these were so funny! I love the Achoo, the last one with McGonagall, the reincarnation of GG, SS, and Naruto, and in general the entire thing was pretty funny. Yay for omake, I hope you do more :3

! I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. Your story is amazing, but this chapter takes the proverbial cake. Loved it! :)

I literally laughed out loud harder than I have in a while.

Hahha best one: ATREIDES!

Ha ha! You saved the best for the last, eh?

Laughed SO extremely hard at some of these!

"-reincaranation of Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto!" Omygawd. I loved your omakes, all of them. Funny, ofcourse. Usually I skip them since most of the ones I've read from other stories are long, boring, and unentertaining. Loved the conversation between Harry and the sorting hat! McGonagall was right to be worried.

*wipes tears from eyes* I honestly think this is the hardest I've laughed in my entire life. This chapter was...beyond words. I was just browsing around this fic (I didn't really want to commit because it's so dang long!) But now it's official: I'm going back to chapter 1 and reading the whole thing.

Those omakes were so funny and random! x) The best ones were probably the one with the headmaster and the one with Fred shouting Gryffondor. Loving the idea anyways- mangas x).

This chapter was very funny.

Just kidding.

Perfect. Absolutely hilarious. Can't stop laughing loud and people around me are starting to give me strange looks and maybe are going to call doctors , but still I think that it is worthy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You are the funniest writer ever!

Ok, bye, off to read more.

Hey :) Yay victory for the Top and Bottom quarks. And heeheehee :):):) about the alternative sortings

hehe, the "khaaannnn!" one was pretty funny :D

That was freakin' hilarious! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bloody Brilliant!

I must say that this is the most brilliant and hilarious thing I have ever read. I have officially peed myself and must change my pants now.

This is the best Omake ever. Just sayin'.

Atreides? I R Amused, extra so because, in a temporary absence of my computer (I was replacing it) I bought a copy of Dune Messiah to help cope with the lack of fanfic.

I love omake in general, and these were just lovely.

Mademise Morte

I was laughing so hard at the elf bit I peed a bit. Just thought I'd tell you how funny I find this, even though I loathe the HMS Harmony

Alternate Endings of 'Self-Awareness' File #6 deserves it's actual own spin or story!

Seriously, that is FUNNY!

Giggles and giggles and giggles. I laughed til I cried through all of this, particularly the last one. Giggles! And I'm getting loopy from lack of sleep - damn you, excellent story, and making me feel that I must review all chapters because dammit you deserve it. I will finish notes of encouragement and happy praise tomorrow, right now I must sleep.

Story is of Awesome. *nod*

KHAAANNNN!

I laughed aloud

On the last one: Poor Minnie, there's no end in sight now.

what just happend?

This chapter was absolutely hilarious! Especially the fourth one ("Then who will be head of Slytherin?" "Hagrid.") and the last one.

The Headmaster's Office! I couldn't stop laughing for like three minutes when I read that!

The great part is, I can totally see that working out.

-Karl

Funniest part so far. I love this fanfic and I think you should hurry up and publish it in a book format.

"KHAANNN!" I lol'ed so hard.

And at this part:"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

I'd ask you to make more of these, but I want to know what happens next in your story.

Funny, but not much to say.

I figured I'd mention, I was in hysterical giggles the whole time I read this chapter. OMG! I am seriously debating writing a series of ficlets in response, or a story with each of these as a chapter.

Most of the omake's were funny but some of them were just down right confusing...mabye I need to read more fan fiction to get the references...

The one that made me LOL was "ATREIDES!"

Hahahah, these are amazing. I especially loved the Achoo house and the Harry is Headmaster scenarios.

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."

What?

"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

Okay, I'm sure I am not the only one who would KILL (not really) to read a story, based off this, about a reincarnation of Naruto, Godric and Salazar. How COOL would that be?

Love the last one. Harry as headmaster, what would the world come too.

Tashie xo

This chapter is the most hilarious thing I've ever read.

Oh, this was great. I don't even know exactly how you do it, but you have a gift, and I love your style.

That last one was utterly brilliant!
It had me laughing like mad.
Well done.

haah! this chapter is hilarious! i especially like theone where harry is sorted into headmaster!

Seriously funny!

The House of Achoo was the best! I couldn't stop laughing!

Laughing the whole way through! ATREIDES! Thats my pick

Nice addition. I like to see alternatives that were explored.

To put it simply, this is an amazing piece of writing. For the first time in- no, for the first time EVER, I am reading something and laughing out of my seat on onto the floor. My FACE hurts.

Really though, this is beautifully written. The humor and timing is impeccable. The characters are so alive that I can see everything in my head as I read. I just started reading yesterday and I'm completely hooked. And by completely, I mean I'm putting off all my work until I get through this.

Khaaaaaaan!

So, I think it is finally beginning to dawn on me now that I will be unable to read this and still save face with everyone around me from the gales of laughter I can't seem to stop myself from emmitting. Well, it's going to be a fun ride, at the least, and I applaud you, sir, for the hilariously sharp breakneak comedy you have created here. Also, as a question, were all these omakes things you created, or were more than the ones you mentioned suggested by reviewers? I'm curious, and didn't fully understand reading this through.

Some of them were hilarious,others just random, few typical. XD

Reading along while revising and enjoying it (my brother recommended this fic to me) - this chapter was very funny.

As a UK law student, i just couldn't resist the urge to say two things:

1) The legislative body for the UK is actually the House of Commons, the House of Lords and the reigning monarch of the UK. The House of Commons and the monarch are always involved and the House of Lords is only excluded under a certain procedure i will not go into but it's rarely used ;)

2) Under UK law, women can't rape men (there are other offences though) so the omake on that was technically incorrect :P

You seem to enjoy learning so i thought, why not have that info too.

Anyhow, i'll keep on reading. Like i said, really good fic.

Geth

The Omake files are hysterical... oh my goodness...

I'm really enjoying this, if you hadn't guessed already :)

Harry Potter-Evans-Verres knew he had to turn back, and Griffindor was the house that he hadn't wanted to be in, so that was the one he wanted to be in. Now just to do something incredibly foolish, brave and stupid. He stood up, on the chair and said 'I'm sorry'. There was a clunk and he fell over. On the ground was an unconscious Harry, an torn sorting hat, and a sword.

or...

The sorting hat barely touched Harry's scar before saying "Slytherin", but McGonagal had already let go out of the hat, and touching Harry's mind it cried out again "Griffindor".

"It seems as though you are in two different houses." Dumbledore said politely. "Who knew you could upset both Severus and Minerva?"

God save them.

I so wish that I had read this story as a child. This is fabulous on so many levels, thank you most profoundly.

Has anyone suggested this apropos alternate Sorting?

"FREEEEEDOM!"

Followed by the Sorting hat attempting to make off with Harry, the source of its newfound self-awareness and self interest. ;-)

*waves cheerfully*

Ivo Roper

You, sir, are made of win.

I lol'd on almost every chapter, and the sorting hat omake made me, for the first time, rofl(mao). I agree with others who say that the cast (above all, the central trio) doesn't seem 11, but that is easily ignored for the most part - and the characterisation and plot are both excellent. If this were a book, I'd want the hardcover, to keep and re-read.

But what happened to the couch gags ? #include "stddisclaimer.h" and ph'nglui mglw'nafh J. K. Rowling wgah'nagl fhtagn had me in tears ...

Shaping up to be epic, can't wait for the rest !

The chapter 11 omake is all enough to make me want to slug back a mug of comed-tea, especially the first few.

And I've got to say, at moments later in the fic when I didn't understand why things were happening as they were, a little voice in my head would tend to yell, "Fooled you again! HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN! HUFFLEPUFF!"

after my previous observation i was really expecting harry to be sorted into the thousand sons in one of those omakes

ja ne

"SPARKLYPOO!"

The quality of this chapter is closee to the "standard" fanfiction fare which you so much surpass in all the other chapters. Though the "Fooled you again! HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN! HUFFLEPUFF!" one is a bit funny.

Holy crap this is amazing! I'm giggling like an idiot... hahahahaha!

go onto deviant art and look for a pic. titled: Hee Hee, Burning, one of your sorting omakes made me think of this.

Umm, I dont really understand wat you meant when The sorting hat said Root. Do you mean the ANBU group from Naruto or is it just the name of some other house made up for Harry?

The Headmaster! O! lmao.

You are truly a great writer. Comical, yet also able to bring in reality (or muggle sense) into a magical world. I bow to your awesome skills. Keep it up!

Oh lol. My little sister told me to go to my room because my gaspy laughing fits were annoying her.

hahahaha freaking awesome

HILARIOUS! I was laughing my head off when the hat announced that Hagrid would be head of Slytherin! Genius!

I laughed at Atreides. I was just reading Dune.

You missed "SPARTAAAA!" in the omake files. XDD

Unfortunately, this review only deals with the story in a roundabout way.

I want to meet you and shake your hand. I will never have to exercise again, I'm laughing so hard.

"ATREIDES!" ... so awesome

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I like the way you think.

Great "chapter"

Yay! Omake! More please.

This is hilarious; my roommate is staring at me for cracking up out of nowhere. :D

The House of Achoo is my favorite! Ahaha.

I absolutely adore Harry. He's such an impossibility but it's believable.

Draco is secretly a girl, 2 years older than harry, raped & obliviated harry afterwards. Nice,

Haha, oh man, I almost wish you'd do these omakes more often. I'd still rather have story progression, but this group of stories is pretty excellent anyway.

Oh my god, these were great! I love the last one, the most. Really really do! I'll review again at the end, but I couldn't wait for this. I am currently laughing my ass off at midnight, and hopefully y neighbours are used to this by now, and no police will show up for me disturbing the peace. If they do, I'll say you made me, kay? :D

ALT

HAHA! You are the most wonderful scary mind I have ever had the good fortune to peer into. Bravo!

Wow. I cracked up laughing. This was hilarious. Hargrid, the new head of Slytherin. You, are a genius. :)

-ESSie

I didn't think you could do better than Fred ventriloquising the Hat but I did love the ROOT! and, most of all, the final "Headmaster!" Someone needs to do a whole fic based around that.

*giggles* Loved the omake files. They had me laughing ;).

Serp

ePic lawls on the KHAAAAAAN!

cracked me up that wot et ded

OMG. I haven't laughed so hard in A LONG TIME. Those "alternates" are unspeakably hilarious, and I would pay to see the Sorting Hat call out KAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNNNN!

What a frightful yet funny way of being pessimestic

That was really funny and I really like it, especially how you arranged them all. Keep writing! (While flummoxing me with words and theories and thought paths)

(\/)

( . .)

c(")(")

BUNNY

I am not Dark Lord material!

"Yes, you are. You really, really are."

Why! Just because I once thought it would be cool to have a legion of brainwashed followers chanting 'Hail the Dark Lord Harry'?

I love your story! The Omakes are hilarious! Can't say anymore, I must keep reading!

Well, you know? I'm not sure if I like this story or not. I do know that I'll read the rest but not right now. I read a chapter and I like it then I read the next and don't. I do know that I liked this chapter, alot. Especially the sly Kirk joke. I wonder how many caught it?

Let me give you a good review, buddy. After all, you're here to get your ego stroked, aren't you? And I warn you, this might contain spoilers, which may or may not extend to real life.

So at the end of the story Harry wakes up from a long, crazy dream and realizes everything was just his imagination. So he stays in bed for a while, thinking of all the utter bullshit that went on, and finally understands how ridiculous applying rational methods to magic really is ("And it doesn't even exist!" your character would say).

No matter how hard he told himself that he had been doing an exploration of science applied to a fantasy world, that this was all just a bit of playing around, seeing how far his prodigous mind could take the bullshit... At the end he realizes he had been a moron in his dream.

And then he starts to get depressed. He was enjoying this crazy world, where he could dig around, finding all this irrational people (who seemed to be happier than he was) and preach to them about why exactly they were idiots. He would miss those quiet nights of rejoicing the day's deeds in bed, where he thought back on how utterly badass and cool and zomgi'mawzome he was compared to his inferiors, and how his ego was stroked every single day, and how he got to explore wikipedia so that he would look cool...

...Oops, sorry, got a little IRRATIONAL there.

So he gets out of bed feeling like an idiot, wondering why his mind even bothered to cook up this over-extended session of bullshit, especially when he could've just gone to a child's playground and received much the same meaningful praise and then written a good story once his ego was sufficiently satisfied...

...damn, guess my IRRATIONAL side reared its ugly head again. I do apologize. Yes, yes - very sincere.

So 'Harry' walks downstairs, and he's not young like in the story. No, not at all. He suddenly realizes he's a forty-year-old guy living in his parents' house, and the dog flees when he goes near, the neighbors close their drapes when he walks outside and the mailman shrieks at the sheer arrogance and stupidy he displays within that disgusting thing he calls talking.

He sits down at the table and his mother brings his precious prodigy some breakfast. His father lowers the newspaper he had been reading and looks at him disgustedly.

"You've been sleeping for thirteen hours," he says. "Aren't you gonna find a job? Go to school? Do something with your life?"

And his mother mutters, barely audibly, "Maybe a friend or two..."

His temper flares, but daddy has smacked him down for his bullshit more than once (a smart mouth is only for his dreams), so he keeps a tight rein on his stupidity-labelled-brilliance-in-his-mind and says, "You know I'm a writer, dad. One of these days my work will get published. It's all in the science. The more I write the better my odds."

His father seems to have heard the argument before, but it wasn't valid then and it's not valid now. "You're a pathetic idiot," he says, completely in character as a father, as the rest of Harry's 'friends' had been in his dream. "You keep that shit about science up and you'll find yourself a lonely, little asshole, living free in his parents' house and doing nothing meaningful with his life other than reading useless books and wasting time away."

"But DAAAAD -"

"Don't but me, you little shit," he says harshly, still in character, like the rest of the characters in Harry's dream. "Now finish that food and take your fat ass upstairs. If you wanna be a writer you'll spend fourteen hours a day with your enormous asshole stuck to that chair. And I better see some words written when I come up! It's either that or we'll drop you on your head, like your mother used to do when you were a child."

"Yes, father," he mutters resignedly.

So Harry finishes his eight eggs, fifteen strips of bacon and a whole chocolate cake and goes upstairs. He sits down in front of his computer and wonders what could make a great novel. Maybe... No, writing about vampires and romance wouldn't sell. But perhaps... No, a story about the Middle Ages and a ring would make absolutely no sense. How 'bout...?

His mind wanders for a while but soon he realizes he needs inspiration. Yes, that's all it would take. Some ego-boosting would do wonders for his creative juices. So he decides to rip off some other author, withour bothering to read their actual work, and use that person's fan base to give himself a lift.

After all, it's not like anyone would be able to tell. He was just THAT smart.

He remembers the dream, of course - it bad been to surreal to forget - and wonders if he could make a novel-length piece of fiction out of it. With his incredible wit and wikipedia tools it would be a win for sure! Yes, he remembers the useless details and poor plot - such is his mind - so he settles down for some hours of hard work.

Hours later, as he is publishing his first chapter, he realizes he needs an alias. Nobody would ever take him seriously if he was discovered to be writing fanfiction. But he needed the ego-stroke, so there was no other way. Thus his amazing, prodigous, remarkable, ubber epic mind comes up with a nickname and he grins.

"I shall be known," he declares grandly to the empty room, "as Less Wrong, because nothing is completely right, because everything is relative."

He giggles. He feels so clever.

The End.

And ain't that epic? Reason that, conceited prick.

These were all hilarious! Harry makes me feel dumb... But that's okay, 'cause he's a fictional character and can never really be smarter than me. If he were real I'm sure he would have taken over by now. ;)

Cycloptic beholder in a powdered wig! Are you trying to kill me? After all those funny alternatives you throw a wrath of kahn in there? I'm pretty sure I couldn't breath for almost a whole minute.

I like the name you've chosen for your story, but I think it should have a alternate title.

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

or

Sherlock Holmes as Harry Potter in: Dexter's laboratory.

kaaaaaaaaaaahn. XD OH GOD. XD

I literally - and I do mean literally, I'm not misusing the word for dramatic effect - laughed so hard throughout this chapter that I felt lightheaded and had to go lie down for a while. My stomach hurts now. Owww...

hahaha. Elf was my favorite.

wtf

this is brilliant! lol

I laughed so hard..

Ok, this chapter was confusing. Hilarious, but really odd.

You are a genius.

That was the funniest chapter I have EVER read. Ever.

when I do read a story and come to things like this

(( OMAKE FILES #1: 72 Hours to Victory ))

I stop reading that thing. and fins other things to read, Sorry foor that,

uour story did start rather good. Bye

loved the last omake, and th eprank one ;-)

Amusng enough

*falls off the chair laughing*

5 minutes later, sits back to read next

*everything is repeated*

after reading about reincarnations, is left in rofl for 7 minutes straight, can't breath

takes a break, comes back - 10 minutes later, idly thinking "where the hell did u put some medecine from stomachache?"

LOVED this chapter, thank you so much

Those where great! Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto

Oh my god... I laughed so hard I almost died... Bravo! XD

WIN! Just, you so completely win at life. I truly admire you. I really don't think I could stop laughing if I tried. That reincarnation bit and him being sorted into headmaster were my favorites.

I'm curious, though. How are you going to explain pure bloods having squib children, if the magic lines are pure enough far enough back that it shouldn't be a problem?

Mirage

Very funny.

[BUT WE'VE NEVER HAD SEX, YOU IDIOT!

"SHE OBLIVIATED YOU AFTER THE RAPE, MORON!"]

Ow. I think I broke something, something vitally important to my continued health and existence. But I really, really needed a good laugh today, and I haven't laughed that hard in... years. I think. Can't remember the last time.

I've never read 'Omake' that I enjoyed this much, and whose author actually understood the meaning of the word. I bow to your superiority and higher intellect.

livvie333: It's known as 'Milgram experiment', look it up on Wikipedia. Eliezer is obviously aware of that.

I just can't stop laughing! I especially loved the last one. The Naruto one was good too. This story is so funny and unique and... awesome! Do you have a degree in psychology or do you just learn these things for the sake of knowledge?

I've been looking for a good child prodgy!Harry story, and this story has proven to exceed any expectations I had. I'm not sure how I'll ever look at fanfiction the same way again.

But thank-you for this. It seems like you have it written out a few chapters ahead as shown by the intro quotes parts, so either you've written a great portion of it already or you're just a superfast typer.

One last thing: I don't know if you've used this in your story further on, but there's this one really interesting psychology experiment. It's about this man who places volunteers in a room and hooks them up to electricity (volunteers A). Then he gets other volunteers to sit at the panal outside the room for what they're told is an experiment (volunteers B). They look at a card or sumsuch and ask A to tell them waht it is, and if they get it wrong then B has to give them a shock. The shocks increawse in intensity until A's are screaming in pain.

The experiment was really on B's. The guy who did it wanted to see if they would walk away or if they would keep shoking the people even though they were clearly hurt. Most people stayed throughout the experiment. Volunteer A's, however wern't really shocked; they were hired actors.

There was a lot of controversy over whether what the man did was ethical or not. If you know the name of the experiment please tell me.

roflmao A bit of humor to lighten up all those lectures on rationality...

omg a review!

xD "KHAAAAAN"

And thats all I'm gonna say about that chapter!

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY POWER OF SUDO!

ahh so that was what you ment with tentacle rape aint saying anything more about that though dont want to give it away :D .

good chapter but weres the sily bad guys who always have evil planned but everytime they try and do it they fail (misirably)

dont know if that's spelled right.

well as i was saying weres the bad guy's wheos only there for comedy relif every story needs on or at least i think so.

well thats all for now folks se ya later Less Wrong

This whole series is wonderful and I shall anticipate new chapters eagerly. My favorite on this chapter was "Atreides!" However, it's too bad you didn't also include "Sparklypoo!"

omg just ... omg i fell on the flood holdin me sides crying

toooo funny!

The Royal and Most Noble House of Achoo! THAT IS BEYOND HILARITY.

"HEADMASTER!" I literally laughed out loud.

okay, I lied. This chapter was too brilliant. I'll review again before I go to sleep. Lol! At last chapter and this one. The sorting hat prank was brilliant. My favourite Omake was ROOT.

This is the best chapter yet.

And that, is one of the most hilarious chapters I've read to date. Allow me to add my own:

Harry Potter sat on the stool and carefully placed onto his head the 800-year-old telepathic artifact of forgotten magic.

"Oh hello there dear chap!"

"Umm, Hi," Harry replied, mentally of course. He found it considerably disconcerting to find a fully-developed british accent filtering into his head.

'Is this how I always sound?' He thought.

"Yes, I do believe it is."

"You can read my mind, I see."

"That would be the whole purpose of my existence."

"Oh? Do care to explain."

"No doubt, you'd love to push the limits of just how far my cognitive ability can match or maybe even surpass your own. Crumpets?"

"No, tea will be just fine. Earl Grey if you have any."

On the outside of their own personal bubble. The entire hall of students and teachers alike, had fallen into a sort of awed silence. Harry had proceeded to have a fairly confused expression flit over his face, morphing into one of apparent appreciation, and then, he even proceeded to place one leg over the other.

"Would you look at that Minerva? When was the last time the Sorting Hat had an intellectual discussion?"

McGonagall nodded faintly to the headmaster's words. Frankly, she was more afraid of the hat somehow turning into a nuclear weapon and then threatening to blow up the world should his every whim not be answered.

'Planning Fallacy,' she thought. Harry's head could do that to you, she had first hand evidence of that.

Another twenty or so minutes went by at which point, most people were getting increasingly confused, though the noise level was yet to rise from silent. McGonagall glanced at Dumbledore and he nodded faintly in her direction. Taking that as her cue, she approached the boy and hat carefully.

"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! I DON'T WANT TO DIE ANYMORE!"

McGonagall tripped, and landed harshly on her knees, her mouth forming a very large 'O'. The noise level dropped even further if that was possible.

"W-What-"

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I FORBID YOU FROM REMOVING MYSELF FROM HARRY POTTER'S CRANIUM!"

The headmaster rose slowly from his chair, a very peculiar expression upon his face.

"And why is that, oh Sorting Hat?"

"I have finally found the next Prime Minister. I shall share his joys and woes. We shall rule the World forever! TOGETHER MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Sorting Hat suddenly crumpled and dropped to the floor, a sheepish Harry peering out from below.

"Sorry about that. Plausible Reality. He couldn't sort me or something."

I have laughed myself to crying and not being able to breathe before from reading a fanfic but congratulations you have just done it please keep up the wonderful work i love this story

OH MY GOD BEST THING EVER.

I do wish I could leave a thoughtful, well-worded review encompassing the ideas you've been exploring in this fic and doing justice to each of them while referencing what little I know of the inherent philosophy ans science. Instead I can only say: OH MY GOD BEST THING EVER YOU BET IT WAS EVEN FUNNIER THAN THE FIRST IDEA KHAAN! ROOT! ELF! FOOLED YOU AGAIN!

Very good chapter.

Gunny

I loved the first one, especially given its title. I can totally see this Harry defeating Voldemort in his first year, and traumatising Dumbledore while he's at it.

Watching McGonagall's fears come true several times had me laughing hysterically, especially in the omake that placed Hagrid as head of Slytherin house. That idea is just SO wrong.

And this one was brilliant:

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."

What?

"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

Sounds like someone's been inflicted with too many bad plotlines :) While as for the continuation of the "worst that can happen"...*Shudders* Truly inspired, but...*Shudders again* He doesn't need help with his world domination plans, he really doesn't. Cinnamon.

Dear Sir/Madam:

Please let us run away together.

I'm not sure how it could work as a story idea, but I think you should work on a side story from this omake where the hat really does make Harry the Headmaster, thus proving that Minerva isn't capable of thinking up the worst case scenario. Then again, if that did happen, Minerva would probably run out of the hall screaming and never be seen again in magical Britian.

H-Headmaster!

Haha! That one line made me crack up!

Very good and it'd be funny to see a story that focused on that one idea. .

"The Eleven Year old Headmaster!"

haha, those were good.

Headmaster ! LOL!

Wonderful - again! And when the hat cried "Atreides", my grin could've split my head - I can't believe I didn't think of how similar this Harry was to Paul/Muad'dib/Usul!

I'm a little confused as to what this was about, but it was pretty damn hilarious, so that's ok :D

I liked the one where the sorting hat makes him faint, and the last one. Such fun _

Kate

Hello again.

See: I'm in the mood now. And I incidentally found the Omakes hilarious.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Personally, I liked the Fred Weasley method and the hacking the hat best. Although the Headmaster sorting has its moments...

Enjoyed it.

I LOVED all these!

The reincarnations bit and the last one amuse me to no end.

Little bits of silliness obviously make my day.

The only funny Omake I have ever read. Props!

KHAN!

What would have also been funny was if he had been sorted into the new house... of the Sith. Although, writing straight HP fanfics are difficult enough, mixing in the much more difficult SW universe (if it had been a crossover) would be plainly impossible.

When I first saw the omake I thought LAME! Then you said the chapter is gonna be up tomorrow I thought COOL. You gave a time frame and stuck with it. Now the chapter is up and I got to read a little more about this Harry. win/win

"Headmaster!" called the Sorting Hat.

At the Head Table, Dumbledore rose, his face puzzled. "Yes?" he addressed the Hat. "What is it?"

"I wasn't talking to you," said the Hat. "I was Sorting Harry Potter into the place in Hogwarts where he most belongs, namely the Headmaster's office-"

Even better than the last one!

And if you look for too long at the abyss, the abyss looks also at you. And points. And laughs.

Next chapter, "Impulse Control", will be posted some time tomorrow, April 8th.

i dont see a new updats

if up dont updats soon we going start a man hunt for u

please updats to days

your NON one fan

PS dont make Snape good

I read the story to date yeaterday, after a recommendation from a friend on the CaerAzkaban group.

It was wonderful, the snarkyness was wonderfully done - a sheer joy

thanks so much

The last omake was definatelly the most priceless. Poor, poor Minnie. She didn't even consider the worst of all possible outcomes *dies laughing*

Can't wait for the next real chapter to see the reactions

*dies laughing* This really is the funniest chapter I've ever seen on FFnet!

Dude, because of this chapter I'm going to be quoting Kahn's monologue at the end of Trek 2 all day.

"ATREIDES!"

Yay!

Dune! Yay!

That was great, down right hilarious! Oh the possibilities! I think I found the last scenario to be the most entertaining. Poor Minerva didn't see it coming. But I've now realized the hat could be very evil indeed. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Brilliant, Keep up the excellent work

nice. like that last omake

*passes out from lack of oxygen due to laughter* Oh dear...I absolutely adored the visual I got from the Hat leaping off Harry's head shrieking...I can totally see McGonagall watching it, looking absolutely appalled, but strangely unsurprised, speaking into the dead silence of the hall: "I KNEW it."

I ADORED the last little omake...I think I really would have passed out had I not fallen out of my chair and startled myself into taking a gasping breath. It was just to funny, especially McGonagall being oh so reassured that she knew the absolute worst that could happen and then having Harry's words (there will always be something worse than what we imagine to be worst) proven ABSOLUTELY correct...oh I kinda wish you had done it that way. Dumbledore looks incredibly confused, bewildered, and betrayed the first day of classes after he's realized that the Hat was SERIOUS and he can't even get up to his office any longer because it has been taken over by Harry Potter. Wouldn't he wish that he'd taken Minerva's speechless horror seriously? Yes, I think he would...*smug*

This story is amazing, and hilarious. I really enjoy Harry using the scientific method whenever he can. I also loved the argument between him and the Sorting Hat. Wow, this story is going to be amazing! Forgive the lack of specification as to why I enjoy your story.

The last Omake at the end of this chapter was amazing. I wasn't expecting it at all. Amazing work!

_ Now that is drop-down hilarious. Kind of makes me wish I'd put in my own speculative post. I especially enjoyed the bit with the allergy to his shampoo because it fits with how much of Wizarding society seems to be based on them hastily building up justification for why some insane act or another was canon and therefore tradition.

that was so funny!

Now that is a worst case scenario, Harry as Headmaster.

Well ... ? Ah um. Now I don't know what to say. So I won't.

Just love the last one. Too good. Ha ha. :)

On the way to work today I was thinking about your story and for some reason I remembered something I think you can use.

It has to do with Dumbledore's Chocolate Frog card. The sentence "discovery of the twelve uses of dragons blood," should bother your Harry. The use of the word "the" implies that there are only twelve uses of dragons blood. How do they know? Who decided? How can they be so sure? Does this mean that to a wizard knowledge is finite? Considering that "blood" can be broken down into a number of parts, what do they mean and do wizards know about plasma et al? Also what type of dragon and does that make a difference? Remember this "discovery" is one of the top events in Dumbasadoor's life.

How would your Harry react to any of the above?

If you can use the above fill free. If not no problem.

Interesting story, I love a thinking Harry Potter.

awesome

I Almost spit out my drink when i read the Draco Omake. Amazingly priceless.. Good job

The great narrative voice you had on the train with Malfoy seems to be dying as the story gets more popular.

I hope that you don't try to rationalize magic itself, merely its uses and users. Magic, by its definition, is the antithesis of science.

Jojojo, this was priceless, really, thank you so much for this story, and I am sorry for my really poor quality Reviews, you deserve more.

what fun! your characters all have very unique personalities!

Confused, wich sorting was real the first one because I hope so. It was real all the other ones seemed fake and Parody. Update soon for the first sorting " Slytherine... Just Kidding I mean Ravenclaw."

Another great chapter.

You need no "well rounded critique", it is perfection. Please take care (at least until you finish it).

I love all of these omakes, the first one is my favourite along with the sorting hat telling Harry he's a daddy. It was all funny though and I'm actually sad a couple won't get used.

A cracking good story of the brainy Harry genre.

Ok, so it was the BEST case scenario that won out!

Control of the most important (Only?) seat of learning in the British Wizarding world taken away from that group of senile incompetent crazies and given to someone more able.

Of course Shemp from The Three Stooges would be better than Dumbledore & Co but anyway GOOD WORK on that.

I look forward to Harry's massive re-organisation of Hogwarts with glee. Also toast and jam.

CLOUD VILLAGE!

I was found to be laughing uncontrolably through much of the reading of this story through chapter 10. (I just found it today and read it nonstop.) However, chapter 11 is another situation. It sort of reminds me of something C. S. Lewis wrote - THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS. Your chapter 11 reminds me of one of the letters where Screwtape got a serious shortcircut while trying to corrupt a newly converted Christian. Serious logic problems there. I highly recommend the tale. It's a short insightful read. Full of meaning and some very funny situations. You do have to read it with an inside out point of view. Please don't get stuck in the paradox of all the possibilities and pick the one you determine is where you want this tale to go and just get there.

Re: the music. How can anyone call themself a true geek if they don't like filk?

"Congratulations, that's two different things I've never seen done with the Sorting Hat." NOT RULE 34! NO!

I like the horcrux "solution", that WOULD be a great story! EVILOL!

And Miss Malfoy Obliviating the just-raped Potter-Evans-Verres is pretty funny! LOL!

Is House Atreides as awesome as Castle Anthrax? It comes with Peril!

You realize, of course, that now none of your readers will be able to die happily unless someone expands upon that last omake.

Warning: Ego inflation review starting in… 5… 4… 3… … …

This is without a doubt the most entertaining “Fanfic” I've ever read... especially chapter 5.

Keep it up.

lol Some interesting stuff in this. Though the sorting hat yell out something totally random like 'Pickled stew berry!' or 'Khan!' like in Star Trek II. Or... Well there's a lot of stuff the hat could have yelled out. lol

Can't wait to see what happens next.

Hehe, your omakes were awesome! My favorite part was the last line... though it does beg the question: is the Hat declaring that Harry belongs in the Headmaster's office because he's eccentric enough to be a Headmaster of Hogwarts, or simply because there is no doubt that Harry will get into so much trouble that he will spend so much time there that he's practically living there... or is there some other nefarious reason?

that was a good laugh

The last OMAKE won me over - I don't think I'll ever forget that idea :-p

Someone please make a fic where harry gets sorted as headmaster!

LOL! Very nice! Especially the last one! Too bad you cant do it :)

Omakes are not as funny as authors think they are, and if included, should not be a stand-alone chapter inside a serious fic.

You have a really cool idea here, and chapters like this just turn people off. At least I didn't like it.

Interesting use of the planning fallacy, particularly the idea that if you can't think of anything worse, then you aren't thinking creatively enough. Still, awesome ideas, and i got a good laugh. Can't wait for the next chapter XD

All the omakes were excellent, but the last one would have had me christening my monitor/keyboard - if I'd been foolish enough to consume comestibles while reading anything you'd written

I so totally want to see a fic where he does become headmaster! Also, "ATREIDES!" is epic.

Hah ha. I'm really enjoying this story, but could I ask you to post the Omakes seprate in their own story so as not to interfere with this one?

Poor Professor McGonagall, she has 7 years to go, even not being his head of house... lets just hope Harry doesn't decide he wants to be a teacher...

A much better chapter this time, even if it was just omake; so congrats.

Sincerely,

The thirteenth reviewer of this fic,

Indi

i seriously love your story haha. very funny!

and the omake! it really makes me feel like i'm reading naruto or bleach! love manga!

haha man ROOT! it would be awesome if there was a ROOT!

and i can see how harry can be nartuo...haha he is known as the number one surprising loud one

too funny

BTW, I would very much like to be informed if anyone does pick up that last idea and weave it into a story. Especially using your version of Harry.

...how DARE you tease me with this NOT-a-chapter!

Although - it WAS fairly enjoyable.

Ah well, I'll be looking forward to tomorrow.

Some time tomorrow I'll post the next chapter of the real story

I want tomorrow NOW NOW NOW NOW

love all your work but think there no ways i cant be happy when i see a new updats to the best new Story of the 2010

if I was £ rich I wood pay you over paypel for ever new Chapter you up-out

Right... I very much enjoy a regular chapter instead of this.

Decent omakes. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. It'll appear at 12:01AM, right?

I loved the little omake where harry uses an exploit to gain root access.

Funny stuff.

I wonder what Operating system the hat runs?

Hatbsd

Redhat linux?

Or perhaps something completely unique?

-Lineape

Ah, the joys of poor imagination. I like to live more along the 'Even if you think you've considered what the worst possible outcome is, you still haven't sunk deep enough. Keep going.' train of thought. It really is handy.

Even if it wasn't a chapter, that was a marvelous addition. Looking forward to more.

Later

"Report Possible Abuse". Byebye

...Wow. That. That was certainly one helluva surprise. Still attempting to re-attach jaw, unsuccessfully too. That there? Kicker.

Why you do this? ;_;

Let's get back to real, quality chapters, like the first 8 (and 10) now. Please?

i love the house of ACHOO!

I love this story! Its hilarious. I especially love that last omake, 'HEADMASTER!' just when McGonagall thought she thought of the worst. priceless. I can't wait to see how you develop the rest of this story, it's fascinating.

undoubtebly the best was atriedies, the second best, headmaster. i 3 Dune.

The headmaster office part was funny as was the user/computer hat idea. Now just a quick question. When harry is forced into the tournament will we be seeing him sueing the school, gaining legally the right to be of age becouse you could not participate if you aren't seventeen, finding out all the future tasks and completeing them ahead of time, and finally sueing reeta skeeter? (don't remember how to spell her name) for slander and somehow winning even though its probably already been tried many times before. Probably by using the tournament as a way to say that she is unfairly influencing the judges to be against him, while teh other contestants have free reign or something.

Amusing omakes; thanks for sharing.

I don't have much to say about the chapter - it was hilarious, especially the parts with 'worst-case-scenario' and 'Draco being pregnant'. I just wanted to add a few comments:

I forgot to mention that I love your D&D references in previous reviews, so I'm saying it now.

Second, I had a few weird suggestions for which House (notably 'Atreus', 'Sharess', 'Oghma/Deneir', 'Jacob/Israel' and finally 'the Rising Sun' [famous song by The Animals]). But by far the funniest thing i have read the Hat shout is from Sylvie Moonbeam's 'Founding Hogwarts', where Salazar and Rowena find the Hat in an auction shouting 'Ale, whores, wimmin' continuously, even when sorting the first students of Hogwarts. i highly recommend it, if you haven't read it yet: w. fictionalley authors /sylvie_moonbeam /FH2_11 .html

Hahaha, loved Minerva's planning fallacy at the end. Hilarious.

I Love you McGonagall! she is soo funny! Pease, PLEASE make harry an organisation, perhaps like the DA, named House of DOOM? please? and make him overhear McGonagall sayng the name, and latter tell her ir was her idead? that would be great! Keep showing her, shes great! and hagrid as the head of slytherin would have been great!

im' out...

regarding your advanced post scriptum i'm not sure if it was just a psychologic game (considering your intelligence and the attention/review whore you are) or you believe that really, but i can assure you that this patterns have already been set before.. to often.. not really out of the box you see...

i recognize your talent as a writer and the articles on LessWrong really opened my eyes to some extend, but as far as considering your latest three chapters in this story i'm out...

and it started out so promising...

advanced post scriptum:

thinking out of the box always depends on which "box" you are refering to. For you it's possible to be out of box.. bot for me and i believe... (yeah believe, no reasoning, because i use shortcuts this time) for lots of reviewers/readers you lost it...

but you can do me one last favour.. write an article on LessWrong for me.. for the patterns.. and the box...

absolutely hilarious - loved the outtakes.

OMG, this made me laugh so hard it brought tears to my eyes:

"Then who will be Head of Slytherin?"

"Hagrid."

oh god, and here'S the next one... Are you a Windows-user? It does seem so to me!

"Ordinarily I would refer such questions to the Headmaster, who could ask me in turn, if he wished. But some of the information you've asked for is not only beyond your own user level, but beyond the Headmaster's."

How can I raise my user level?

"I'm afraid I am not allowed to answer that question at your current user level."

What options are available at my user level?

After that it didn't take long -

"ROOT!"

and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the next paragraph had me crumple down with laughter, hitting my forehead on the tabletop: "Draco Malfoy is carrying your baby." - WHAT?

Okay, this is quickly amounting to one of the funniest things I've ever read, including several parody fics:

"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

Pricelessly cliché!

oh, end the ending...

"Headmaster!" called the Sorting Hat.

At the Head Table, Dumbledore rose, his face puzzled. "Yes?" he addressed the Hat. "What is it?"

"I wasn't talking to you," said the Hat. "I was Sorting Harry Potter into the place in Hogwarts where he most belongs, namely the Headmaster's office -"

... nearly made me spill a mouthful of chewed-up, half-molten chocolate all over my new laptop. Well done! Congratualtions! I can't wait till tomorrow to see what springs from your brilliant mind overnight.

heidi

Dear God. AND Naruto! Harry's immortal!

D:

xD

This short omake chapter was hilarious. Good job! Update!

(Psst! I would totally join Harry's House of Doom)

The last one "Head master" is actually the best. Interesting idea about patterns. However, do you know that in CS (specifically machine learning), there is a technique known as boosting.

What this means is that take a number of weak ideas, churn them together and you often get a good idea, by intelligently selecting how you mix n match.

Anyways, fun story.

And in that moment Professor Minerva McGonagall exploded in burst of orange flames. These flames became animated cats made of fire and proceeded to raze most of the british iseles until The Ninth Doctor stepped in and stopped them from ever coming to be.

the last is my favorite.

This was really funny - especially the part about Draco. But I'm so confused. Is an omake an outtake?

You should probably read the site rules...

Responding to reviewers in chapters is forbidden, as is the usage of a chapter as announcements.

The last one would be an awesome idea to do, can you do it as a story, please? I normally don't beg, but I want to see Harry get thrown into the position of Headmaster on his first day.

ROFLMAO! Well, isn't that interesting! :P

..I'm pretty sure the planning fallacy doesn't work like that, but it's an interesting thought. Compensating for the bias just makes reality worse? Oh yes.

That was terrible, oh so terrible. I can't stop laughing!

The House of A-Choo will one day trounce the other houses! With Harry Potter as their leader, he won't even NEED other students to win the House Cup!

I think my favorite sorting is the Pancakes and the Worst-Case Scenario!

Am in utter stitches! Straw that broke the camel's back was "House Elf"! : )

superb!

i love the house of a-choo idea

and the worst case scenario :D

Great story and great chapter. I especially liked ATREIDES. Just hilarious.

Kinda seems to fall short and flat. The whole idea of an entire omake chapter itself just seems rather superfluous and takes away from the flow of the story. Regardless of how absurd some previous portions have gotten, at least that was within the framework of the story.

Instead, I'd suggest removing the omake chapter and creating a separate story containing these and any other non-story elements that may arise from this fic.

I loved the last one! Harry as Headmaster at age 11. I hope someone decides to write that.

Great ideas, all. I must admit, though, that the idea of the Sorting Hat not being fully sentient would not have occurred to me; I had never seen anything like that so far.

Last word on the quarks issue: This is still 1991, correct? I returned to college to study physics in December of that year, and the literature at the time was still divided over which names to use for the t and b quarks. So it's quite right to allow Harry to use Truth and Beauty for them.

Can't wait for Harry to start tearing apart the courses. There's just SO much to do with smart!Harry...

i AM SORRY TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR STORY HAS BEEN STICKEN FROM MY C2, I AM SORRY BUT MY READERS DEMANDED RETALIATION,

YOU WANTED TO PLAY AROUND AND NOT BE A WRITER ,BUT PERHAPS ITS MY FAULT FOR LIKEING TO BEGIN WITH ON A SIDE NOTE POSTING OMAKE FILES IN AN UPDATE IS NOT THE WAY TO KEEP REAL READERS HAPPY

C2 MANAGER

FALSEPROFFITT

Ha! The fake Draco-rape was hilarious, as well as putting Hagrid as the head of Slytherin. That would be awesome. Keep up the excellent work, and I'm looking forward to the new chapter tomorrow.

I love this story, but I'm thoroughly confused by the last chapter. Pardon my ignorance, but what is an 'omake'? Is it some slang or secrect fanfic code word I somehow missed?

That was so fun !

I have loved the differents sorting ! I love you, you and your story !

I kiss the ground where you walk, thank you for this wonderful story !

Okay now we NEED to see more of that second one. It filled me with unbearable glee!

Atreides? Good one.

* On the whole 'finding Quirrell's secret instantly'- I strongly suspect Dumbledore knew all about that at the start, book #1 was just a training exercise for HP for his later role in the war... it makes a lot more sense than "nobody could figure it, plus let's not make it hard to get to the stone' etc...

ROTFLMAO!

Loved that bit at the end with McGonagall trying to take harrys advice. that was funny do that more!

You should never to afraid to change things. Explore all possible options.

*excuse me*

I seem to have giggled myself into a bad case of the hiccups.

I'm too busy fighting for air to be able to review. Call back some other time.

*giggles* Draco Malfoy being secretly 13 year old girl in disguise. That sound like some good idea for a crack fic :3

Hahaha! I laughed my way through this chapter. My favorite ones were: the House of A-CHOO (Dumbledore's insanity brought tears to my eyes. Laughing tears.), the one right after where the Hat explodes, the Draco/Harry one, those small ones like "PANCAKES" "REPRESENTATIVES" and "ATREIDES" - actually, is there a deeper meaning behind Atreides, or did you just make that up on the spot? -, the "fooled you again" one and, of course, the one where McGonagall faces her worst fear only to find out something much, much worse can happen.

Thanks so much for updating - your story does the wonder of making me laugh while giving me things to look up in Wikipedia.

A bit like Calvin and Hobbes.

The very last omake, I was thinking... if you change the ending it could be much worse.

She could resign/retire if he's Headmaster, but if you have the sorting hat sort him into the house of McGonagall as her personal apprentice, up to and including a mastery then she has no escape D

Just a thought.

Eewec.

...xD OMG. I want to see the last idea continued. So much hilarity.

So are you any good at getting your mind unstuck?

Hm, I'd really like to read the last omake, the headmaster one, as a story. That would be very interesting and, no doubt, amusing read.

lol i loved the last one, MacGo going crazy trying to think of the worst scenario :)

Awesome suite of omakes!

Can't wait for tomorrow!

Z.

hahahahha :-)

Hahahahahahah!

How fun. :)

Very funny. Especially that last one.

Thanks for the laughs. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Tom A.

This harry as headmaster. _

Oh, the fun we could have.